Chapter Eight

-Sakura's POV-

The asylum building is made of stone, so we decided to camp on the roof until the fires died enough for us to safely use the stairs. After retrieving all the blankets and pillows possible from the top floor, we barred the door shut and settled down for the evening.

Ino's hand had been clasped tightly in mine until she finally fell asleep, and I could gently leave her to catch a moment alone.

The last two months were absolutely terrible. If I wasn't being forced to hear other patients hurt themselves or shout profanities, I was being forced by those awful doctors to heal myself so they could study me. They never took me out of that damned room but would send a nurse coupled with a soldier to wound me non-fatally, and then they'd record a video of how I healed. I'm not sure, but I think they did similar things to the others to try and figure out how our "gifts" worked.

By the time a month had passed, I'd be lying if I said my mental health hadn't been significantly affected.

My teeth gritted as a massive wave of guilt made my eyes water. I'd lost my temper significantly just days ago, and the consequences were as severe as possible.

Like usual, a nurse came by with one of the security officers, and I let them handcuff me. I begged and pleaded for them to stop what they were doing each and every time, but they never listened. The nurse would simply hold a camera, and the officer would shoot, slice, or stab me so they could watch me heal myself and record it.

It wasn't the injuries that bothered me the most if you can believe it. No, it was the damned nurses that stood there like they were recording their dog doing a trick so they could upload it online to show their friends.

"Please, sto-!"

The gunshot echoed off the walls of my tiny room and made my ears ring for a few moments as I looked down to see they'd shot me just above the hip bone. Agonizing pain coursed through me, and tears fell quickly from my face into my lap as I struggled to keep myself from crying out. After struggling to my feet, I realized something awful. With my wrists cuffed to the ring on the wall, I couldn't bring the injury close enough to my hands to heal it without an unbearable, gut-wrenching ache immobilizing me.

The day Shizune saw my leg get healed, I hadn't used my hands to do it, but I also don't know how I did it. Since then, I've only managed to heal anything if I can touch my palm to it.

"What are you waiting for? Heal it."

A ragged gasp left my lips as I tried again to lift myself enough, only to hunch back over in agony, "I-I can't reach-"

Another gunshot echoed through the room, and I heard the now familiar sound of one of my bones being damaged. My shoulder jerked back with the bullet's force, and this time I did cry out in pain.

"Heal it, or I'll give you another one."

I glared up at the soldier, whose face I couldn't see because of their mask, and gave every last bit of my self-control to warn them, "Don't you dare." My self-pity and patience had finally worn out, and if this man shot me again, I wasn't sure what I'd do.

The nurse spoke up this time, her voice bored as though I wasn't entertaining enough, "Just heal it already so we can move on." I was taken aback by her words and attitude but couldn't respond before the soldier shot me again, this time in the thigh.

When I say that I saw red, it's not an exaggeration. One moment I was staring at him in disbelief, and the next, I was on the offensive, beating the life out of him and crying angrily as I straddled his hips. I only froze when there was a sudden flash, and I turned to see that the nurse dared to record me.

My hands were covered with the man's blood, but I couldn't even register that as I rose to step toward the woman. She was pointing her camera at me even though she was clearly terrified. Was the footage really worth her life? The rage that filled me was unlike any I'd ever felt, and it caused a pressure to build in my head that actually hurt.

Before I could take another step, the woman stuttered in fear, "C-C-Can you heal him?"

My eyes widened, and just like that, the rage was gone. I was immediately snapped out of my trance. I turned to see the unmoving body of the man I'd just killed with my bare hands, and a strangled sound of disbelief tore through my chest.

What have I done? I looked down and saw that the entire front of my body had been sprayed with blood, and my hands were almost completely coated with it.

"Oh god…"

Disgust came over me, and I frantically tried to wipe the blood away, but it wasn't going anywhere. I hurried to my knees and pressed my hands against the man's bloodied chest, and put all I could into trying to heal him, but nothing changed. With shaking fingers, I pushed the mask away only to start sobbing heavily when the man underneath it looked like just another person.

This could've been someone's son, father, or husband, and I killed him. How many people will suffer because of what I just did? How many lives did I just ruin? It was too much to handle, and when my eyes drifted over to his abandoned weapon, I didn't hesitate to pick it up and point it at my chest.

"No! Don't do it! We don't know if you can survive a fatal wound yet!"

I grit my teeth before glaring at the woman through my tears, "Well, you're about to find out." Her face paled, and I turned back to look at the man's face again before re-hardening my resolve and straightening the weapon.

Just as I was about to pull the trigger, a loud slam came against the door across from my open one, and I heard a familiar voice speak angrily from behind it, "Stop. Right now."

It was Sasuke.

Until then, I had no idea his room was so close to mine. He undoubtedly listened whenever I begged and pleaded for those people to stop for the past two months. Humiliation. That's the only way I can describe it. After realizing he was listening, I couldn't pull the trigger. Reinforcements then came to help the nurse, and I was shoved back into my room while they dealt with the murder I'd just committed.

My fingers shook as tears rose, and I looked down at the city below. I was sitting on the ledge of the roof. When I came here, it wasn't my intention to jump, but with the terrible memory playing on repeat, it was hard not to consider it. There's no way I'd survive if I did. It's likely I wouldn't even suffer and would be dead on impact.

Two things were keeping me from doing it. One was Ino. She would be heartbroken if I killed myself. The second one was my own self-loathing. A quick death wouldn't be enough to atone for the sin I committed.

My tears dripped to fall into my lap, and I tried to keep my sniffling quiet to not wake anyone up. Becoming a doctor is my dream, but how can I possibly take the vows now? I did quite the opposite of what I should have been doing. I killed someone rather than saving someone. This guilt feels like it'll undoubtedly end up eating me alive.

The little hairs on my arms stood up as the winter wind blew. I'm unsure of the exact date, but we're somewhere in the first half of November. Everyone else was sleeping in a tight group under the blankets to fend off the chill. You'd think a bunch of young adults would be more embarrassed, but no one's looking at it as cuddling. It had to be done to survive, and that's all it was at the moment.

Something soft fell over my shoulders, and I jumped slightly in surprise when I turned to see Sasuke taking a seat next to me. He was the last person I wanted to see. I frantically tried to wipe at my tears and turned my face away in hopes he hadn't seen them, but I knew he did.

After gaining a little composure, I turned to see he was looking out at the chaotic city below rather than at me, and for that, I was thankful. I unconsciously pulled the blanket he'd given me tighter around my body and followed his lead.

Sasuke terrified me up until The Program's relocation. I don't know if one or both of us changed, but things somehow got more manageable. Maybe it was because Ino told me he'd carried me when I was sick, or perhaps it stemmed from the fact that he saw why I was so scared in the first place and no longer took it personally.

Actually, scratch that last part. Sasuke didn't take it personally that I was terrified of him because he knew from the first M.A.T. session that it was all men, not just him. Whatever it was, I was relieved. I could trust in him and a few other guys to not hurt me purposefully, and that alone was growth.

The city below wasn't quite as bright as it usually is. Most of the buildings were completely dark, and a majority of the light came from the bumper-to-bumper traffic of people trying to leave town and the solar-powered streetlights. It'll be impossible to be sure until we go back inside, but I think the electric grid was down.

Thick smoke still wafted up in dark clouds from dozens of locations throughout Konoha, the closest one barely a block away. Our building had been on fire a little, too, but these smoking buildings were the ones that exploded earlier in the day. The only reason we felt safe enough to sleep on the roof was that we saw a few of the incidents, and they weren't caused by air strikes or missiles. Whatever the cause, it came from the ground.

In my peripheral vision, I noticed Sasuke was crossing his arms over his chest and wordlessly pulled the blanket off and tossed it over his shoulders before turning my attention to the sky rather than the city below. With so little light from the buildings, the stars seemed brighter than usual. So much terror and drama were going on the ground, but up in the sky, things were beautiful. Life can be funny like that sometimes.

My face paled when I suddenly felt warmth against my side, and I turned to see Sasuke had scooted closer so we could share the blanket rather than just one of us using it. He didn't bother meeting my eye, but I still allowed myself to smile at his act of kindness. Somehow, without saying a single word, he'd managed to distract me from the terrible thing I'd done, if only for tonight.