Paranoia

***Matty's POV***

I've been thinking about the things between us lately. The things that makes us strong and the things that can destroy what I have with her.

And I've decided I need to eliminate them one by one.

I exhale, time to grow up and face things. Seeing Jay today gave me a ton of perspective. I used to be like this guy, I used to treat girls like this guy does and ultimately I used to look up to this guy. My priorities have changed. I respect her so much, she stood up to him every single step of the way, and she could have tried to charm him or even flirt with him but she didn't she just spoke to him and made herself heard. I was proud of her, she doesn't need me to tell her that.

He's still a problem he will try his best to exploit me, he's probably digging info on me now to use against me. I saw his eyes on her, I'm not delusional she's ridiculously beautiful and she's got no clue. It did take a lot of control for me to sit there and allow him to look at her; her legs in those stockings, her cleavage in my shirt. I know what he's thinking, I used to be like him. He will want to use her up and then move on to the next one. He will not care that I am in the picture.

So by extension i need to sort that out. The problem is she wants in at the party, and it is not right for me to just tell her I'm not taking her. She will go anyways, and then she'll be there alone. That will need to be handled really effectively; I must not shout or get into a fight. That's going to be hard. Just half an hour of him around her tonight and I was ready to punch him.

The girls will be out for me, I've got this feeling Jen is just brewing up some trouble for me. This is a huge weakness threatening what I have. I think Ross is actually correct with his advice, I need to tell her the extent of that conversation that night so that should anybody decide they want to ruin what I have it won't hit her out of the blue. The problem is how do you tell somebody that? Without hurting them? Maybe I should just come out with it? I need to give it some thought.

I mentally go through the steps I need to take to make our relationship bullet proof. I do like watching her sleep, it's ridiculous I used to hate guys like me. Guys that went on about their girl and how beautiful she is. She's turned around facing the other direction, I place my arms over her tummy. I remember how perfect she looked in my kitchen wearing my shirt. Having unprotected sex with her on the sofa. That was my best sexual experience I've ever had and she doesn't even know it. How hard it was to pull out of her, I noticed her pulling my hips into her all the way through like she did not want me to leave her. It drove me absolutely insane, I can't fuck it up all over again. I'm pretty darn good at fucking things up and I need to work on it.

In order to sleep and not stay awake giving into my paranoia about my "friends" I massage her tummy and her waist. Running my hands over her hips and up again. She moves closer to me enjoying the physical contact. She's sleeping naked today apart from those red knickers. Her smooth skin is touching mine. We both turned our phones off before going to sleep so that there will be no distractions.

We do have a double date tomorrow. It's important to me that her friends see me as the correct choice for her. I'm interested in getting to know Malachi a little bit more too, he seems like a good guy.

Like the kind of guy I want to be for her.