Pirates

That's when the ship jerked violently to one side. Passengers, purses, and shoes slammed against the portside wall, which automatically inflated itself to cushion the impact. Gerald hit the window which was decidedly less soft, only to have a portly woman wearing a feathered sundress land on top of him.

The lights flickered out, and by the time the emergency lights came on, the pilot was already climbing out of the cabin, sweat streaming down his face.

"P-p-p-pirates," he gasped.

"Don't be absurd," Mr. Morrev coughed as he peeled the woman off Gerald. "Pirates never come this close to the core."

It was then that a boarding tube clamped onto the side of the starliner. The wall grew red hot for a second and then fell inward, nearly crushing a couple on their honeymoon who managed to get out of the way just in the nick of time.

A buttload of men and women poured in through the opening, brandishing weapons and breathing threats. Passengers screamed, fainted, and tried to run, but not always in that order. The pilot was the first to go down, hit with a blast of sticky goo which instantly hardened, welding him to the floor, his feet and hands flailing impotently.

Gerald managed to sit up and spit a feather out of his mouth just in time to see Mr. Morrev pull a pistol from his jacket.

"Air Marshall! All of you lay your weapons down!" he shouted. The gun let off a red blast of energy. The bolt struck a pirate in the back but bounced off her armor like it was nothing, impacting instead into a luggage rack and shredding a pair of suitcases.

The pirate finished removing a ring from a foppish man, then turned around, her face twisted with anger.

Mr. Morrev panicked as bits of linen rained down around him. His knees lost their strength, and he collapsed. With his last bit of will, he tossed the pistol into Gerald's lap.

Everything went as still and silent as a grave. The only sound was the click-clack of the pirate's armored boots as she walked down the aisle.

"He did it," Morrev insisted as she approached, pointing at Gerald.

Gerald, still a little dazed, looked down at the gun in his lap, looked up at the fierce pirate, then looked at Morrev fingering him. "You threw a gun at me?"

"Sorry kid, survival of the fittest and all that."

The clicking stopped and Gerald looked up again at the woman standing over him. Her eyes were different from a human's. The white part was black, and the center was a kind of golden yellow that glowed from within. Long pointed ears stuck out from beneath her pink hair, which flowed out behind her in long tresses. Her light-blue skin was smooth and flawless, like a polished stone, and as she opened her blue lips, she revealed a set of pearly white teeth.

"You trying to make my life harder?" she hissed, placing the oversized barrel of her pistol against Gerald's nose.

"Wouldn't dream of it," he wheezed. "You're obviously a very busy person with a demanding schedule."

"I am. I'm already committing grand theft, assault, and destruction of property, and you want me to add murder to my plate?"

"My apologies," he squeaked. "I can be really inconsiderate sometimes."

"I'm glad you understand your transgression," she said, snatching the pistol out of his lap. With a nod to the rest of the pirates, they went to work, stripping each passenger of everything of value. Men hollered as their pockets were emptied, and women screamed as their purses were overturned.

Her gun still to his face, the pirate held out her hand. "Give me everything you have."

His eyes trembled. "Everything?"

She nodded slowly.

Sweat beading on his face, his trembling fingers placed a small pouch in her hand.

Her pink eyebrows came up. "What the blazes is this?"

"It's an essentials kit. It has everything you could ever need, or so the label says."

She threw the packet aside, striking a man in the face. "Are you trying to get yourself killed on purpose?"

"Definitely not. In fact, living is one of my stated life goals."

"I said give me everything!"

"I know it may be hard to believe, but that pouch contains every possession I have."

She powered her pistol up to a higher setting. "You lie!"

"I'm a monk, how much cash do you expect me to have?"

"Shut up!" she snarled.

"Sorry, I get chatty when I'm nervous."

"You've been chatty the whole time."

"I've been nervous the whole time."

Ramming the barrel even harder into his nose, the pirate reached out and pulled off his necklace.

"What about these?"

"My prayer beads?"

Without taking her glowing eyes off of him, she held up the beads to her face. "Yeah, they must be made of something valuable."

"Just carved Ruumpa."

"What's that?" she asked, placing them against her nose and sniffing.

"Animal dung."

"Nasty!" she spat, flinging the beads to the ground.

The eagle-shaped badge on her armor chimed to life. "General, we've got Alliance ships inbound."

"Deploy the decoys, signal the sailors to withdraw," she ordered, wiping her hand off against Morrav's shoulder as he lay on the floor, hogtied and stripped of every valuable.

She placed the muzzle against Gerald's forehead and slowly squeezed the trigger. "Tell me, before you die, was living as a penniless monk worth it?"

Gerald felt his heart go cold. His entire frame trembled.

"Yes, it was," he admitted as he closed his eyes. "I refused to follow my programming. I lived free of it."

The barrel snapped away from his skin, and all went quiet. He kept waiting for a blast, but none came. Ignoring his fear, he cracked one eye open and found her staring oddly at him, her glowing eyes looking at him strangely, her cheeks faintly flush.

"General, they're closing in, came the voice from her badge.

"What is your name?" she asked, looking Gerald over anew.

"G-Gerald Dyson," he stammered.

"I will remember it," she said with an odd grin as she holstered her weapon. "I am Lyssandra Bal, Second General of Ragnarok. Don't forget that I spared your life today. That would be discourteous."

With a click of her heels, she sprinted away, along with the rest of the pirates, heavily laden with bulging sacks. The boarding tube sprayed foam into the hole it had breached to seal it, then disconnected itself. Gerald scooted up to a window and looked out as the enormous black dagger of her warship sped away into the night.

"I'm not sure I could forget if I wanted to."