Physical education

"Come on, move it!" Coach Bar-gheiis trumpeted through the horn growing up from his nose.

Gerald could feel his heart pounding in his ears. His chest felt tight, his legs screamed in protest as he forced himself to run up the sand embankment for the ninth time that morning.

"Better hurry up Dyson," Ilrica teased as she effortlessly leaped past him. "The weak and the sick ones always get picked off first."

"I appreciate the tip," Gerald huffed out, unable to catch his breath. "Is it just me or am I heavier when I am on this hill?"

"Five times heavier, yes."

"Ah, good to know."

By the time he managed to drag himself to the top of the sand dune, the rest of the class was standing there in their gym uniforms, glaring at him.

Coach Bar-gheiis shook his thickly armored head and entered some notes into his tablet. "Dyson, you're holding up the rest of the class."

"Please, don't wait for me," Gerald gasped between breaths. His lungs burned within him. "Just let me know where you are headed and I'll meet you there later."

Trahzi stepped up, the other students moving out of her way fearfully. Her black eyes were cold and remorseless. "Your weakness disgusts us."

"Don't think of it that way," Gerald gasped. "Instead, be grateful for what you have. You could have been born me instead."

She furrowed her brow in confusion.

While the coach handed out scores that were instantly updated in everyone's personal windows, Tulda leaned over. "Hey Kamanie, did you hear Broggon from class 5-B got hacked?"

"No way," she whispered back.

"Yeah, someone sliced into his external memory and put in a viral charge. When he used his card to pay for lunch, the replicator sprayed pudding all over him."

"Oh, I wish I could have been there," Kamanie pouted.

"I'll link you to my memory file."

"Oh, okay."

Tulda's and Kamanie's eyes flashed in unison, then Kamanie burst out laughing.

"No wireless connections during class time, you know that," the coach said without looking up.

"Sorry, coach."

Tulda's arms dropped down in a pout as a demerit appeared in her window.

Bar-gheiis stomped his cloven foot and the ground behind him reformed itself into a tall pitted wall. About four stories tall, it blocked out two of the morning suns as Gerald looked up at it.

"You're up first, Dyson."

"No please, ladies first."

"A true gentleman does not force others to do what he is unwilling to do. He takes the lead to show the way", Cha'Rolette corrected. Her minions nodded approvingly.

"How convenient for you," Gerald said.

Bar-gheiis picked up Gerald by the scruff of his neck with two thick fingers as if he weighed nothing at all. He dangled there like a puppet before being tossed to the base of the wall.

"Well, if you insist, I shall go first." Gerald wiped the sweat off his hands onto his robes, then jumped up and grabbed onto one of the divits, pulling himself upwards as his feet scrambled about looking for a foothold. Finding one, he pulled himself up and reached up for a new handhold. He was actually feeling rather good about his progress when he realized that everyone was laughing at him.

"Dyson, what are you doing?"

Gerald looked over his shoulder as he hung there. "I'm climbing this wall."

Bar-gheiis pumped his fist into his palm. "This isn't a rock-climb, you oxygen-sucker. This is a high-jump."

"A what?"

A ranking window appeared over Gerald's head and set his points to zero.

"Keendland, you're next."

As Gerald dropped back down to the ground, Tomar ran up and leaped high into the air, clearing the wall and touching down on the far side. The rest of the class followed suit.

"Look, coach, I feel no shame in explaining to you that humans can't jump that high."

Cha'Rolette passed by. "If you can't do it, then why are you here, plebeian?" Her ringlets unfolded and she levitated herself upwards over the wall.

"I'm here because there are people who will starve if I'm not."

The last student, a boy named Aryc curled himself up into an armored ball and dropped down heavily, piercing the ground as if it were nothing more than water. A few moments later, he burst up out of the earth on the far side of the wall.

"Hey coach, he didn't jump the wall, how come you're not yelling at him?"

"I don't yell, I motivate with volume and force of will."

"Noted. Same question, different words."

Bar-gheiis twitched his ears. "We sometimes make accommodations for students with extraordinary abilities."

"Well, I would appreciate it if you would afford me the same courtesy."

Bar-gheiis cracked his knuckles. "All right, Dyson, show me how a human would do it."

Gerald stood up and dusted himself off. All eyes were on him. Clearing his throat, he walked around the side of the wall to join the others and held up his hands. "Taa Daa!"

"Oh come on!"

"This is an outrage!" shouted Cha'Rolette.

"What? I'm on the other side, aren't I?"

Ilrica started laughing so hard she nearly doubled over. "This guy is hilarious!" she taunted. "We should keep him around just to be the class mascot or something."

Coach Bar-gheiis threw down his tablet. "That's not the point, Dyson."

"That IS the point, coach. Measure me by things that are physically impossible for me to do and of course, I'll fail. Your tests are irredeemably biased! Why not dock me points for being unable to bend the flow of time while you are at it?"

Everyone went quiet at his outburst.

Gerald looked around. "Don't tell me, some of you CAN bend time?"

Ilrica raised her hand.

"Ugh," Gerald said, covering his face.

"Look, these tests have nothing to do with muscle strength. All of this is just basic aether manipulation. Any race should be able to accomplish them."

"Well, you obviously didn't keep humans in mind when you designed these minimums."

When Cha'Rolette cleared her throat, Coach Bar-gheiis snapped to attention. "Coach, it makes no sense for the entire class to be held up by one student. The quality of our education is eroded by all this time wasted on the human."

"The Duchess makes a good point," Tomar added loyally. "If he physically cannot keep up, then no amount of instruction will change that. As they say, you can't teach a Volm to breathe water."

"Okay, speaking of which, the rest of you get ready for the underwater pressure tests."

Bar-gheiis wrapped his massive fingers around Gerald and picked him up like a Ken doll. "Dyson, you're coming with me to the director's office."

"I think the Director probably has a lot more important things on his plate than dealing with me."

But the coach ignored him as he stomped off with the struggling human in his grip. There was a spark and a flash from under his arm.

"Huh, that's strange, my tablet broke."