The date

The restaurant itself was palatial. Gleaming pearl white spires with streams of blue energy winding around and about them like swimming eels. The entryway was a vaulted aquarium filled with exotic fish of every color and description. Gerald couldn't help but pull his cassock tight around himself as he walked underneath it, fully expecting millions of gallons of water to come crashing down on him.

After a brief kerfuffle with the valets, who kept insisting that he give them his keys, outright refusing to believe that he had walked there, he was lead inside by an extremely doubtful maître'd.

Once inside, Gerald was met by an expansive coral reef of gleaming private booths. They grew up in multiple tiers from the marbled floor in a very organic way, appearing to have been carved from some single impossible huge block of veined marble. Winding bone-like staircases and flowing ramps lead up to the upper booths. Despite the enormity of the room, it felt full and alive.

A piece of delicate music was playing, although Gerald couldn't find a source for it. It seemed to come from everywhere. Glistening animals swam around like manta rays, leaving glowing trails of sweet scent in the air behind them. Silver lights hung above like starlight. Pools of silvery water clung to the walls, their pleasant surfaces reflecting the shimmering lights, again and again, making it feel like this place stretched into eternity.

It felt like he had stepped into some other world. A place of rest. A place that existed outside of time. A magical realm reserved only for those chosen by the gods. Glancing around at the patrons, dripping opulence from head to toe, he realized this was not too far from the truth.

"It is your first time being in a place like this?" A familiar voice asked in his mind. The maître'd led Gerald up to the private booth where Cha'Rolette was waiting for him. She stood up to greet him.

"Is it that obvious?" Gerald asked.

"Painfully so, sir," the maître'd mentioned as he extended his hands. "May I hang up your... burlap sack, sir?"

"No, I'm fine," Gerald said as he straightened his robes and sat down.

He felt completely out of place. Cha'Rolette was wearing a sweeping dress that looked like it was carved from sparkling amethyst, yet it was supple, like silk. The strapless design flattered her generous curves and displayed the satiny skin of her deliciously perfect shoulders.

She gave him a dazzlingly beautiful smile and tapped the bottom of her chin with two fingers. Gerald wasn't sure what she meant but then realized that his jaw had been hanging open as he gawked at her.

He closed it straight away.

She smiled meaningfully. "I have brought you a traditional human gift." She explained as she pulled out a package containing a funnel and a long tube. "I believe this is called a beer bong."

Gerald took the object questioningly into his hands. "Ah... yeah... I don't drink, but thank you... I guess."

She tilted her head. "This is what the database suggested as the preferred object for human men your age."

"Well, it's not completely wrong."

She gave another heart-stopping smile and extended her hand.

His eyes flickered. "What?"

"Did you not bring me anything?"

Gerald fidgeted. "Oh... sorry, I didn't know I was supposed to."

Cha'Rolette pursed her lips in displeasure. "You know, the excuse that you are not from around here is wearing thin pretty fast."

"I meant no offense."

"That is all right, you may make it up to me on our next date."

"Next date? Wait..."

Gerald was interrupted by not one, but five, waiters arriving at their table. One placed his menu before him, another affixed his velvety napkin. A third measured his fingers and laid out appropriately sized platinum cutlery, while yet another fixed Gerald's hair. The table setting looked so expensive Gerald was afraid to even touch any of it.

"Duchess, I cannot tell you what an honor it is to have you with us here again tonight," the fifth waiter said with a deep formal bow. "The Altasbor family has not forgotten what your grandfather did for us."

Cha'Rolette raised up one hand. "You have always shown great honor to the Ssykes family, and I appreciate it. However, as I am dining with a civilian this evening, I would rather not discuss family business. You understand, of course."

"Of course."

Gerald caught himself staring for the second time that night. The waiter's face was dominated by a large triangular nose, which began at the top of his head and ended just above his chin, almost completely hiding his mouth. It was as if someone had glued a boomerang to his face. He looked so much like a cartoon character to Gerald that he had to stifle a laugh, but then rebuked himself. He reminded himself that he had promised not to be the stereotypical xenophobic human... or at least not to show it.

The other waiters polished Gerald's shoes, sewed up a tear in his cassock, trimmed his fingernails, and washed his face. He felt like he was being yanked in a dozen directions, but Cha'Rolette basked in it all as they gave her a manicure and pedicure.

"I shall have the chefs prepare your usual special dinner, Duchess. What may I get your guest?"

They both looked at Gerald, and he realized too late that he should have been perusing the menu this whole time.

"Um... do you have any of those little baby alligator things, the Kamanchhi?"

The waiter cracked his eye open. "We do not serve junk food here, sir."

"Ah, I see."

"I recommend the Daaplon, it is fresh from Dajer, and is simply exquisite. Like a cloud made out of butter on your lips."

"It does sound nice. I think I'll have some lemons, please."

The waiter breathed in through his nose, making a tiny whistle. "Very well, my good monk. Perhaps I could also interest you in a glass of water, perhaps a crust of bread and a bowl of gruel for a main course?"

Gerald turned to his date. "I like this guy. He's got moxy."

"I'm not sure we have that, but I'm sure it can be replicated."

"No, I mean... uh, never mind, just the lemons."

Suddenly all five of the waiters stood beside one another, looking like a row of clones, then collapsed down into a single person and walked away.

Gerald tried not to look surprised.