High stakes

"We have a winner!" the barker said, grabbing a huge purple doll off the rack and holding it out to Gerald.

Realizing what he was doing, Gerald released Ilrica and took a step back. "Um, sorry about that."

"No, please, feel free to hug me any time," she said, her cheeks rosy.

Gerald took the doll and held it before him. He was so excited he couldn't help but smile. "Wow, I've never won anything before..."

A tent pole snapped and the confectionary tent roof collapsed. A woman screamed and covered her children. The broken shaft came down, the sharp leading edge snagging Gerald's prize before impaling itself into the purple soil at his feet.

As gypsies moved in to repair the damage, Gerald looked on at the two torn handfuls of fluff and cloth in his grip, all that remained of his Ixriss doll.

"Boy, you just can't have nice things without breaking them, can you?" Ilrica chuckled.

Zurra scratched her long ear with her back paw. "Oh, he's always been like this. If you actually knew him like I do, you'd know that."

Ilrica narrowed her eyes and growled.

Zurra morphed back into her child form. "Back on earth everyone avoided him like the plague. Did you know, he was born on the same day that Tindorian ship crashed on Earth? Not just the same day, either, but the same minute. On his first birthday, there was an outbreak of McClellan flu that wiped out all the cats, on his second birthday, True-Life was brought to Earth to be sold. On his third birthday..."

"Yeah, we get it, Zuri, thank you," Gerald said, tossing his handfuls of torn fluff into a wastebin.

Ilrica stood next to Gerald and put her hand on his shoulder. "The point is, he has more fun with me."

Zurra took Gerald by the hand. "No, the point is, I saw him first. The way to a man's stomach is having your cake and eating it too."

Gerald realized where this was going. "Oh boy..."

Zurra and Ilrica glared at each other, sparks of electricity flying between them.

Zurra smiled impishly and grew horns. "Hey Geri, I have a question for you."

"Ugh, what?"

"If you had to choose between your fun, energetic childhood friend, and some mangy wet mutt that followed you home, who would you choose?"

Gerald wrinkled his nose. "What?"

Ilrica snarled. "No, no, what she meant to say was, if you had to choose between a lovely, confident, capable woman, and some clingy, whiney little ball of crazy, you would totally choose the woman, right?" Ilrica's ears dropped down. "Even if her fangs were a little dull, and her muzzle was a little on the small size, you don't care about that stuff, right? You look at what is on the inside."

Gerald pulled free of them and thought for a moment. "I dunno I mean, I don't really know anyone like those people you describe."

"WHAT?" they said in unison.

Gerald laughed. "No, I was just kidding. Look..."

Trahzi's face flashed in his memory, and he froze. He felt a sickness in his heart. The tears in her eyes, the pain on her face. He felt responsible for it, as though he had cursed her. He wished they'd never met. He lowered his head and continued.

"...Look, you guys present a false choice. Why do you assume that I would pick one of you, or Cha'Rolette, or even Trahzi? The truth is, you would all be better off without me anyway. You present me with a choice of A, B, C, or D, but the reality is that I should choose E, none of the above..."

The air behind him folded in on itself, and suddenly Gerald found himself seized by an enormous man in a finely-tailored business suit. With one hand, he wrenched Gerald's arm behind him, while his other hand hung at Gerald's throat, his fingers stretching out and becoming metallic knives.

"Let me make this very clear to you, little man," Arevaz said firmly. "You break the Duchess' heart, and I break your neck."

Gerald swallowed. "Okay... well that just certainly upped the stakes considerably."

Arevas released him and his fingers returned to normal.

Zurra was shocked, Ilrica seemed amused.

"Nice new suspenders," Ilrica teased.

"What was that?"

"Nothing."

The air folded and the Ssykes man was gone.

Gerald coughed and rubbed his shoulder. "I suppose it was bound to happen. It's been quite a while since someone tried to kill me."

Gerald clapped his hands. "Well, should we go find something else to do then...?"

Ilrica and Zurra didn't move.

"You still haven't answered our question," Ilrica said.

Gerald stopped. "I thought I had."

"Nope, you talked about what you should choose, but that is not what we asked. We want to know which of us you would choose."

Gerald looked around. A lot of people were staring at them. "I don't really think it is a good idea to have this conversation here."

Ilrica stepped forward. "Gerald, what are your feelings for me?"

"Wow, you are direct, aren't you?"

"Beating around the bush is for prey. What am I to you?"

Zurra folded her arms. "I don't need to ask him; I already know what he feels for me, we were promised to each other a long time ago... right, Geri?"

Gerald cleared his throat. "Hey, how about we get some of that sweet cream? That sounds fun doesn't it?"

"But..."

"Sweet cream! Come on, it'll be fun."

As Gerald ran over to the booth, Ilrica snorted in irritation. Zurra turned into a pink honey badger and hissed at him.

* * *

A few minutes later, Cha'Rolette floated into the tent, looking around for them. Ilrica and Zurra were finishing their sweet cream, while Gerald held his untouched cone in his hand, melted drips running down his elbow.

"What did I miss?" asked Cha'Rolette.

"Only the funniest thing we've seen all day." Ilrica grabbed at the clasp on Gerald's facemask. A shrill alarm went off, and Gerald was zapped by an electrical charge.

Ilrica burst out laughing.

"Apparently the mask is glitched. Trying to remove it to eat activates the emergency charge."

Gerald picked himself up. "Stop doing that, Ilrica!"

"Serves you right for being a coward."

He flicked some of the melted sweet cream off his hand, and walked over to a wastebin.

Zurra reached out. "Don't throw it away! If you don't want it I'll eat it."

"It's not that I don't want it," Gerald said, tossing the melted cone in the air. Zurra turned to a giant pink clam and opened up, swallowing the cone whole. When she returned to her adult form, the cone was clearly visible as it floated inside her.

"Hey look, you can see it in my tummy, she said, shaking herself back and forth as it dissolved inside of her."

Cha'Rolette looked away. "You are disgusting."

"Any luck finding out about the drone ships?" asked Gerald.

"No. My father isn't taking any calls, and his secretaries stonewalled me."

"Guess they must not want their jobs for much longer," said Gerald.

"That's the thing. They know who I am; the only reason they wouldn't tell me is if they were specifically ordered not to. When we get out of this outhouse and to a proper planet, I'm going to make some further inquiries," said Cha'Rolette.

"Hey!" the barker protested.

"Sorry, I didn't mean that. Your planet is lovely. So... purple."

The glowing purple mushrooms at the center of the tent circle gave off a sweet little chime. Everyone turned as an ornately dressed woman stepped out of the inner sanctum to greet them.

"Attention everyone, Madam Nef'Flav has finished her preparations. Anyone willing to have their past lives read may come and do so now."

The crowd looked at each other approvingly. A couple of them cheered.

"Oh neat, they do have an Oracle!" Zurra said. "Let's have one of our past lives read."

"If we must," replied Cha'Rolette.