Anastasia

[My love,

I can't seem to bear this distance between us anymore. There's an ache in my heart that I can't put a lid on, and as much as I try to live with the decision you've made, I find myself restless at night.

I long to hold you in my arms. I long for your sweet kisses, for your gentle touch, and my eyes crave the depth of staring into yours.

I'm not asking you to change your mind. I know what you want, and I respect it. It's just that… Ah, it's just that I'm having a hard time knowing you're out there and I can't be there with you.

Would it make sense if I told you I feel like I've fallen even deeper in your love? With each letter I get from you, my feelings for you seem to grow. Maybe this is what they mean when they say that absence makes the heart grow fonder. But it's reached a point where it feels like I'm twisting in my own agony, and I want to see you really badly.

It's a lot to ask, I know. Forgive me if I sound desperate, but I really am. And if you must know, I have finally put the past behind me.

I wasn't sure how you would feel if I told you this. If the tables were turned, and if you told me you dreamt about Derek, I know I'd lose my mind. But what I'm about to tell you next isn't what you might think it is.

I had a dream the other night. It was about Gisele. I think she visited me to tell me that she'd be happy for us. She always knew that I was harboring feelings for you, but she wasn't sad or upset. All she said was "Fate has its ways." and she disappeared. When I woke up, I felt a weight being lifted off me, and what was left was this dire ache in my heart. For you. Only for you.

Enclosed in this envelope is something really special. It's the ring that's been passed down to every woman in the Knoon family. It's rightfully yours now, since you own the heart of a Knoon man.

I wanted to give it to you when you decided it was time. But I can't wait for that day. I want it to serve its purpose now - as a token of my love that will be yours for eternity.

So, imagine I'm there, kneeling on one knee, asking you to accept me. If I can't be with you in person, let the ring be a reminder of my love, while I will keep the memory of your face to ease my longing for you.

I love you forever, Anastasia Hemming.

Yours forever,

Jacob.]

I sigh as I put the letter down, a sudden ache beating in my chest. I don't know how many times I've read this letter over and over again, but it cuts deeper every single time.

Opening my fingers, I look down at the stunning gold ring with its teardrop diamond in the center. I haven't taken it off since it came with the letter, but it's not just a reminder of his love. It's a reminder of the distance I'd placed between us.

My finger circles the ring involuntarily, as I think about the dream Jacob had. So Gisele was visiting us both, trying to bring us back together.

It definitely makes me feel better. I'm not sure if I'm entirely over her death, but a part of me believes that it's sadness more than guilt I feel. After all, Gisele was the only friend I knew that stood up for me all those times I was bullied. She was my best friend, and probably the only one who could see right through me back then. Even she knew how I felt about Jacob when I didn't tell her that much.

A Knoon heirloom, just for me. I look down at the ring, and realize the depth of its significance, sitting here on my finger. Jacob didn't give the ring to anyone else. And he may never have given it to anyone unless it signified something as powerful as what he feels for me. And again, I find myself tearing up.

Amelia comes into the room, and I no longer feel the need to hide the letters away. Over the months, she's become the friend I thought I lost forever, and there's really not much I can't keep from her. Except the secret Ralph told me to keep, and it was only a matter of a few hours until that secret would come to light.

"Ana, what's wrong doll?"

Sniffing, I shake my head, "nothing. I'm just feeling particularly emotional today."

"Surely it's not about Ralph becoming Alpha," she says as she steps into the room, "it's not like he's going away. Oh," she pauses when she sees the letter on the bed, "this is about Jacob, isn't it?"

I nod my head dejectedly, feeling a new wave of emotion overwhelm the tears to escape my eyes. I don't know what I'm doing, allowing myself to feel this way. If it was so easy, I'd run out of the door right now, all the way to Santa Clarita, and into Jacob's arms. But I don't want to rush things. I feel like I'm not ready just yet.

"I don't know w-what to d-do, Am," I choke as I try to pull myself together.

She looks at me with apologetic brown eyes, and sits down in front of me, taking my hands onto her lap. "Oh, honey, I don't even know what to tell you. I knew it was gonna be tough when you told me about it, but it's all up to you."

"I," I sniff, "I don't want to leave here. Kierren and Ralph have been so good to me - they're the only family I know. But Jacob - Jacob's the only love I've ever known, and it's so hard! So fucking hard!"

"It doesn't have to be, Ana. You need to follow what your heart tells you."

"That's just the thing, my heart feels like it's being pulled in two opposite directions."

"Well, if it makes it any better," Amelia smiles, "I heard that Alpha Kierren has invited all the Alpha from the surrounding packs to Ralph's Gala tonight."

I perk up at this information, my heart suddenly tugging with hope. "All the Alphas? Does that mean -"

She nods eagerly, and pulls me to my feet. "Which means, you need to make sure you're dressed to kill!"

~

The Gala is exactly how I imagined it would be - magnificent lighting covering every corner of the hall, the drapes in soft hues of creams and light greens - Ralph's favorite color. The whole thing has an earthy feel, which is fitting considering Ralph uses the many plants growing in his herb garden to heal us of any sicknesses.

I try to ignore all the attention I seem to be getting tonight. Some of the Alphas attending recognize me as the Omega the Alpha of Blood Moon was searching for. But as I walk through the crowd, it's that very same Alpha I am in search of now.

And then I see him. He's only arrived now, looking all around him as he enters through the grand oak doors of the hall entrance. I stay very still, feeling slightly amused as I watch him looking for me. He looks dashing in a crisp white shirt and black suit. But there's something missing.

The pianist playing live tonight fades the slightly upbeat song she was playing as the guests entered, and starts playing the classical notes of Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata, and that's the very same moment our eyes lock.

His lips turn up in a smile, and he begins making his way towards me. I feel heat creep up my face as he comes closer, holding a striped tie in his hand.

Striped in shades of blue and yellow - like the colors of the envelopes we used to send our letters in.

"So you still haven't learned how to tie that, have you?" I tease as I reach out and take the tie from him.

He smiles back at me, squaring his shoulders as I reach up on my tiptoes. "I swear I tried, and failed, obviously." I giggle as I wrap the tie around his collar, and he leans in and whispers in my ear, "besides, someone I love has a very unique way of tying it for me."