Ch 08 - understanding
We silently meet at the table each one of us taking our places at the table where we are meant to be, as mom brings out the plates for us to enjoy as we all settle in we hold. Moment of silence before joining hands.
We lower our heads as we join in prayer. "For what we are about to receive, make us truly thankful in Christ's sake name, Amen." Again a slight burning but much much less than what the pastor caused. But I pushed those thoughts aside and got to eating. It was silent for a few minutes each of us treading softly and eating, it was lamb chops today so I was enjoying them.
"How was the accident?" I ask Joseph, trying to make a bit of small talk.
"Sadly an exaggeration, the ouma fell over and her kleindogtertjie overreacted." He seemed both relieved and slightly disappointed at the turn of events but I could understand.
"Guys please, we are eating." My mother protested talking work at the table since Joshua could get absorbed directly into his stories and gave more than a few gruesome details before. The rest of the lunch went on silent no sound but us earing filled the silence one by one we finished, with me being the last so I went around and gathered up the dishes and made my way to the kitchen to get started on the cleanup.
"You don't have to worry about those they can be done later." I hear my mother say from the living room.
"Let's watch a movie first." I stop what I was doing feeling almost like on autopilot and make my way to the living room. Sitting down on the couch I feel a bit of my tension relax and begin to sink into my chair.
"Let's go get some ice cream Jacob." My mother said manly to Jacob, moving the two of them out of the living room and unto the kitchen. Leaving me and Joseph alone. The silence was heavy between us, till he strained and broke through in a low tone.
"So why did you shout at Jacob on your way home?" Joseph's tone wasn't accusatory, yet, but it was a bit abrasive. Turning I could see my mother with Jacob just out of earshot trying to distract him with ice cream, it was very effective. Returning my gaze I tried to calm his nerves.
"Because I!..." My strong tone took me aback what was that now?
"Because he wasn't looking where he was going and I didn't want him to make that mistake too." My tone was surprisingly steady I should have felt something within my heart but it was like it was frozen. Looking at Joseph he had a more visceral reaction to the statement than even my own.
"Ok, just make sure you keep a better grip on him, you gave him quite the shock." I nodded along even though I'm not sure why he was gaaning aan. what is he gaaning aan about?
"anyway" he continued as Mom and Jacob made their way into the living room with the ice cream and cheers handing out bowls for us to enjoy.
"So what should watch guys?"
"Lego Movie!" Jacob exploded barely staying seated. Since it came out a few months ago he has tried to watch it every chance he can get. That one has been burned into my head at this point. But I can't think of one at this point so I send his choice and it begins.
the movie begins to blur together till I just end up staring into the nothing for what feels like a small eternity waiting, waiting, waiting for something.
What am I waiting for? The Call. Whose Call? You Know Who. Him? Yes.
"Joshua? Joshua. Joshua Zachariah Prince!" I shoot up into a fighting stance, knees low and spread and hand outstretched as if to grasp at something. ... I Finally realize what I'm doing and look around I see my mom out the corner of my eye looking confused at my weird pose.
"You feeling alright? The movie finished a while ago and you have just been sitting there mumbling nothings."
"Yeah, I just been a bit?" Tired "Tired." i Say? feeling a bit conflicted on those worlds.
"Eish my boy, why don't you go to sleep?" She asked still out of my reach.
"I... Dont... Know?" I stammer out a strong pain begins to grow in my head.
"You need a Panado?" She urges strongly but I resist.
"No... I will be fine I should just get some sleep." I softly force my way past till I reach my room. Slowly opening and closing the door. I feel myself wither and strain against my own body and mind to move through my room.
Closing the windows and curtains my strength starts fading fast I don't even change just drop into my bed and my strength evaporates as I move under the covers and towards the pillow. Fighting against myself for every cm to fit myself onto the bed.
Reaching the top and laying my head down, my mind clears out and stills as I drift into the comfort of the darkness is covers and comforts me more than even my duvet silencing my worries and my demons. Demons where? Nowhere! I'm safe. Nothing to worry about. I'm safe.
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