Just married

Well here we are, the wedding day.

Supposed to be the happiest day of my life.

Maybe if it were under better conditions I'd appreciate it more.

I look out my window at the beach all set up for my big day.

It is beautiful even I can admit that.

All my family are coming, cousins, uncles, aunties everyone. The only people who know I didn't actually have a say in who is at the end of the alter are my parents and my brothers.

My brothers who I didn't invite.

They would have tried to shoot Ivan dead and though for a moment I would delight in that I wouldn't delight in the chaos and destruction that would follow mere seconds later.

I allow one single tear to roll down my cheek.

Not for the fact my life is basically l ruined I'm over that.

For the fact I have to wear a black wedding dress.

I glance at the dress behind me.

It could be worse, the dress is breath taking.

I hope it takes Ivan's breath away.

And then he died of suffocation.

I glance at the clock.

10 minutes until I need to meet my father so he can walk me down the isle.

My hair has been curled and white flowers have been braid through it in a flower crown.

My makeup is light, Ivan can see my freckles should he chose to look closely. I like the eyeliner on my waterline, it makes me look scary.

I walk over to the dress and throw it on.

I smile at my reflection. I like the dress it doesn't overwhelm me.

I'm wearing heavily diamond jewellery on my ears and as my necklace.

The dress is simple but beautiful at the same time.

I look around my room.

Kinda smashed now thanks to mother dearests mental break down.

I have 2 suitcases packed full of things.

He can buy me new clothes.

I look at myself in the mirror one more time before grabbing my bouquet.

It might be my favourite thing.

I walk out my room maybe for the last time ever and walk downstairs.

Papa is waiting at the bottom so he can walk me down the aisle.

"You look beautiful my love" he says kissing both my cheeks.

We walk towards the beach together in silence.

We stand at the end of the path waiting to begin walking.

"Elle...I hope you know I will never ever forget the sacrifice you are making for this family"

I look up at the sunset before looking at him.

"I know Papa"

"I love you, your still my little girl even though I am giving you away"

Tears fill my eyes. "I love you too"

The music begins and we walk, arms linked down the aisle.

Ivan comes into view.

He's in an all black suit with a black tie.

His hair seems a little more controlled.

We do stand out among the sea of white.

I walk towards him slowly barely dating to breathe.

I reach him and he takes my hand.

"You look nice" he mutters scanning me over.

"You don't" I reply sweetly.

Even though it's a lie.

I zone out for the most part and only focus back in when the man in front of us asks us if we wish to use our own vows.

I'm about to say no when Ivan nods and pulls out a piece of paper.

I look at him panicking. He didn't tell me this.

What the fuck am I supposed to say?

You forced me to marry you but I'm glad your not a fat old man even if I want to stab you?

I think my family would be confused.

Instead I look at him and try to put on my most awestruck expression.

Even when he speaks Russian and I have no idea what the hell he is saying.

Maybe he's cussing me out.

"Спасибо, что согласились выйти за меня замуж, даже несмотря на то, что вас заставили. Спасибо, что позволил мне помочь тебе, когда тебе было грустно, даже несмотря на то, что мне пришлось запереть тебя. Я обещаю заботиться о тебе. Я обещаю справиться с каждой истерикой, которую вы будете

имеют. Я обещаю убить за тебя. Я обещаю простить тебя, когда ты попытаешься убить меня."

(Thank you for agreeing to marry me, even though you were forced. Thank you for letting me help you when you were sad, even though I had to lock you up. I promise to take care of you. I promise to cope with every hysterical fit you will have. I promise to kill for you. I promise to forgive you when you try to kill me. FORVER)

He sounds beautiful when he's speaking his native tongue.

I pretend to wipe my dry ass eyes.

I say "I memorised my speech" the guests laugh.

I cannot cuss him out in Spanish because every one will know.

I will not say sweet loving things to him in English for him to understand. So I'll say them in Spanish.

"Prometo cuidarte. Prometo cuidarte en momentos como este cuando estemos felices y saludables y en otros momentos cuando estemos tristes y enfermos. Prometo hacerte un hueco en la cama. Prometo hacer dos porciones para todo. Prometo estar ahí como tu pareja, como tu igual y ahora como tu esposa. Y prometo amarte hasta mi último aliento."

(I promise to take care of you. I promise to take care of you in moments like this when we are happy and healthy and at other times when we are sad and sick. I promise to make you a soup in bed. I promise to make two portions for everything. I promise to be there as your partner, as your friend and now as your wife. And I promise to love you until my last breath.)

I take a breath out.

I see my aunty dab at her eyes.

I look back at Ivan staring at me. The corners of his mouth twitching up into a smile.

Good acting.

"Then my the power in me I present you husband and wife."

I hold my breath as he takes my hands in his.

"You May kiss the bride"

Fuck okay. Okay.

It's fine be calm.

I place my hand in his cheek and bring his face to mine.

He kisses me softly. Not as hard or aggressive as I thought.

We kiss for a few seconds longer and then break apart.

The crowd stands up to cheer and clap.

I laugh a little and hold my bouquet up like a trophy of our love.

We walk down the aisle together holdings hands and when we turn the corner I snatch my hand out of his.

"What was that at the vows? You didn't tell me you were doing that" I demand.

"Well you free styled pretty well"

"Oh please you don't know what I was saying..I could have been cussing you out"

He breaks into a smile and I'm reminded of our kiss.

I walk away quickly. I try to stay away from him and distract myself with accepting gifts and greetings from my family, I also take note of the men here who I don't know but Ivan must.

I'm sitting on my own when Ivan pulls me up.

"Time to dance"

I stare at him blankly.

I'm too tired to fight.

I wrap my arms around his neck immediately surprising him. He wraps his arms around my waist and we slow dance together.

Like a real married couple in love.

I feel sick.

We're sitting alone as the wedding ends, only a few of his men left which I doubt are even going away.

I'm getting up to leave.

"Remember meet me at 3 am tomorrow for the jet clear?" He asks me.

"Yes husband" I reply bending down to kiss his cheek.

"What perfume are you wearing, I've been catching wafts of it all night"

I take it out and spray it on him. He swats it away humour in his eyes.

I lean forward so close I could kiss his neck.

"Pineapple extract"

I pull away to his eyes wide and am satisfied to hear him cough suddenly.

"Was wondering when it would work on you" I say grinning walking away.

"Wedding gift!!" I call out leaving the beach abruptly.