9.3 Feelings

"I don't have much of a choice, you know, otherwise I wouldn't do it," he replied, avoiding his gaze.

Rau then realised what he had done and felt bad. He suddenly remembered what they had talked about last time, and bit his lip. Like a fool, he had taken for granted that people would grow up with his parents throughout life, especially when it was difficult. He had forgotten that not everyone was lucky enough to have a family to support them in their transition to adulthood. Some were thrown into life with a violence that prevented them from being carefree for too long.

"Sorry Yomo, I forgot..."

The latter smiled at him. He knew that he had just forgotten and that it was involuntary. But he couldn't help but feel hurt, even though he would have liked to avoid reacting at the time.

"So, which one is your favorite?" he tried to cheer him up, indicating the plates full of cakes with a nod.

Rau looked up at him with slightly guilty eyes before continuing, happy deep down to have been forgiven so quickly.

"The raspberry pie," he answered without a second's hesitation. "It's my favourite anyway, I get it every time.

"Fruit pie, not very original..." Yomo commented with a sly smile.

Rau didn't notice. He was getting used to the third year's natural teasing. Yomo finished his coffee and was about to ask for the bill when he noticed the feverish and growing attention they were attracting. The stares continued to scrutinize them, poorly concealing their lack of shame at engaging in this pitiful game. The whispers weren't even disguised and Yomo could almost hear what they were saying. What was certain was that he could easily guess what was stirring up this world of unscrupulous onlookers. And it was beginning to get on his nerves.

In a word: they were seen as out of place.

"Rau," he began, unable to hold back his need to know any longer. "You don't mind coming here with me?

"What do you mean?" replied the latter, who was finishing the last plate of brownie he had ordered.

"I don't mind that you're a bit dense, but don't tell me you don't realise the attention we're both getting in this café..." Yomo continued, trying to keep the subtlety clear.

Rau stared at him for a moment, seeming to think. His eyes fixed on Yomo's emerald pupils, his gaze left no doubt that he understood very well what Yomo was talking about.

"And why should I pay any attention?"

He gobbled down a slice of the remaining brownie as he said this, watching for his friend's reaction with a playful look.

"I thought you weren't the kind of person to worry about such things," he continued with a sparkle in his eye.

Yomo couldn't help but laugh. He'd had it coming.

"Sorry to be considerate and make sure you don't feel uncomfortable about it..." he replied with the same slightly teasing look.

Rau smiled. One thing he had in common with Yomo that he enjoyed was a taste for teasing. He knew he could go on easily with that in his company.

"I have no reason to be uncomfortable," he replied confidently. "It's them, rather, who should be uncomfortable about acting like frightened nuns. We're not hurting anyone here! Let them squeal, that's all they can do anyway." He finished by stuffing the last bit of brownie in his mouth.

Yomo couldn't hold back a grateful smile from his lips. He could have said those few words himself. But for some reason, he needed Rau to say them. He was glad to see that his frankness did not stop at social convenience. He was relieved that he wouldn't be judged by this person to whom he felt his heart was unquestionably inclined.

He was about to answer him when Rau leaned over the table and reached for the hand Yomo had placed beside his glass. Slowly, he slid his long, slender fingers over the third-year's white skin, reaching under his jumper and caressing his wrist with unconcealed seductiveness. Flabbergasted, Yomo raised his head suddenly and met his classmate's playful gaze.

"What if we gave them something to whisper about? Something substantial to give them a real thing to gossip about?"

Yomo's brain stopped working and went into survival mode. He snapped back.

"Rau, I'm gay."

"And who says I'm not?"

This time, Yomo failed to process the information. He stared at his crush with an intensity mixed with unfeigned surprise. Had he heard right? Hadn't Rau just told him he was gay? But no sooner had he regained control of his senses than Rau finished him off with a fatal blow.

Grabbing him by the collar, he pulled the student closer to him over the empty glasses and plates that littered their table. In a move that seemed most natural and yet was contrary to the greatest rationality of the time, Rau pressed his lips to those of a confused Yomo who was incapable of any reaction. It was only when he felt the pressure of Rau's moist lips on his and felt his heart go out of control that he realised what was happening. But he was still unable to react in any way.

His whole being was lost in this embrace that he had dreamed of countless times, and that he thought he would never be able to make leave the world of dreams. But now it was happening in real life. Rau was kissing him. In front of everyone. In a café.

Suddenly, all the whispering had stopped, and the curious had dug their noses into their cups of hot chocolate, too embarrassed to face the reality of what they had so openly criticised a few minutes earlier. Unable to bear the freedom that these rare beings were taking when it had never been forbidden to them, heterosexuals, to love each other and to display their love in public.

Completely sealed off from the shame that was gradually taking hold of the occupants of the café, Yomo had only the vision of Rau's closed eyes and the sensation of his soft warm skin against his naturally cold lips in his mind. The pressure he exerted on the bouncing flesh that had crept between his lips was both firm and soft. Passionate and soothing. Yomo wanted to savor the moment, but so many emotions were swirling inside him that he was unable to put his mind down. There were also too many questions to take in what was happening.

So he didn't move an inch either when Rau finally broke away from him, breaking their physical embrace in which he had trapped the handsome brunette guy's lips without asking his opinion. With a playful smile, he stood up and pulled Yomo behind him by the hand. They left the café after leaving a few bills on the table, abandoning the world of hypocrits who were taking offence at the assault on their dignity and modesty they had just suffered.