I was absent for 2 whole days. I had fever. The wound didn't
hurt much but those afternoon wares and nightmares
wouldn't leave me alone. And after each dream ended, I would
feel nauseous. My teacher had called my parents inquiring
about my absence. I was sick of staying at home but I didn't
want to go to school either. I didn't want to face that murderer
and that angry interrogator of mine.
What would I say to him? Should I tell him who did it? Would
Aqsa spare me after that? Should I lie to him?
"I've been promoted to the post of senior NCO for a reason
Madaam." he had told me.
I can't lie to him. He will know it if I lie. What will I do now?
"Ughh, this shit is badly messed up."
I went to school that day. I can't run away from the
interrogation. Everyone came to ask me how I was doing.
Fouzia ma'am told me that officer Badr Al-Din was expecting
to see me in his office. "Life's dull without you." Hajera told
me when she arrived.
During lunch break I decided it was the accurate time to see
officer Badr Al- Din. His door was ajar. I could see him
standing inside speaking to someone. He looked fresh,
energetic and ready to conquer the world. And then I saw her.
She was standing near the gate staring at me. I froze and
without a second thought I scurried away like a little mouse.
It was late in the afternoon almost time for Zuhr. I wore my
Abaya; I was feeling unreasonably cold today. We didn't have
hectic classes today, like always. Rather we had dull classes
today. It was a gloomy day today, perhaps the coming days
were going to be gloomy and dull.
It was prayer time and everyone and gone to perform their
prayers. I was alone in the classroom; the other girls were
probably roaming around here and there. I was free of
performing prayers for a week.
I was sitting peacefully with my feet on my table, my head
resting against the wall when someone walked inside. It was
officer Badr Al- Din, he stood a few inches away from me. I
lifted my feet off the table, stood up out of respect and
straightened my hijab. Good thing I was wearing it.
"You didn't come.".
I look down, thinking of an excuse.
"I saw you coming but then you ran away."
"I remembered that I had some work to do, sir."
"What kind of work?"
"A homework, sir."
"Hmm, or maybe you are trying to avoid me."
At this I look at him, he wasn't looking at me.
"Why do you keep accusing me like that, sir? I didn't do
anything. I told you; I remembered that I had some work to
do so I went back. Believe me, sir."
He stared at me for a while before speaking again.
"Someone has given a statement about you, Fatima."
"What? What about me?" I asked almost stuttering.
"A classmate of Saniya has informed us that she had seen
Saniya with you a couple of times."
"Yes, sir. I knew her. I met her 3 weeks ago. And I also met her
a day before the incident. That's it, sir."
"Hmm..."
"What is it that you wanted to tell me, Fatima?"
I looked at him. He looked at me reassuringly. He nodded
gesturing me to go on.
I closed my eyes and rubbed my hands together.
"Sir, I...
The bell rang interrupting me and I heard him mutter
something under his breath.
"Come to my office after this period is over, and this time do
not run away." he stated sternly
I nodded looking at his shoes and glanced at his face for a
second. He was walking backwards, his eyes fixed on me, I
looked down again. Soon he disappeared and the girls started
rushing in. I sat down. Now no excuse would be of help, I
must go to him after this period. There was no turning back, I
couldn't back off this time. I must forget about my fear of
Aqsa. Nothing could harm me if officer Badr- Al-Din was here,
right? I looked behind to where she sits and she was already
looking at me. An old memory flashed before me.
5 years back
"Shabna ma'am is so sweet with us. Also, I've heard they are
merging our sections for the PT period tomorrow. Will you
please teach me how to hit the shuttlecock properly?" I smiled
hopefully.
"But you are never serious about it."
It was the beginning of our academic year and we were
adjusting ourselves with the new teachers and new
classmates. Every academic year we would be placed in
different sections according to our roll numbers as a result
we would be separated from our old fellows.
Our teacher wasn't present in the class and I was leaning
against the door of my class and talking to Aqsa. Her class
was adjacent to mine and apparently her teacher wasn't
present in the class too.
I was talking to her absentmindedly. My fingers were near
the hinges of the door. And suddenly someone closed the
door. I screamed. My fingers were crushed. I ran towards
my bench and rested my head against the table. I didn't even
look at my fingers, I was crying hysterically. I could hear
voices of my fellow mates. I felt someone lifting my shoulders
and made me sit properly. Only then I glanced towards my
fingers. The tips of my fingers were badly bruised. I felt
someone supporting me and taking me to the teachers. It was
her. It was Aqsa. She took me to the infirmary. Later
afterwards when I came back after bandaging my fingers, I
saw her in my class. She was there for the language class. I
sat beside her and she was trying to cheer me up. Even
though she got scolded by our teacher she didn't stop. She
kept making attempts to make me laugh the whole day.
I smiled sadly. I had forgotten about that incident but her
hurting me, slicing that knife in my arm had brought those
memories back.