CHAPTER 20

"PTSD triggers fight-or-flight response."

I closed my laptop and rubbed my face. So, is this what

happened back at Sarah's home? Was her behavior a

symptom of PTSD? What the actual heck happened inside

the washroom that day? And, when is this headache going

to leave me alone?

I went for a follow up yesterday since a week was over. The

doctor duly advised me to stay away from stress and going

to high school 7 days a week was not helping. Besides, all

those flashbacks of some horrible memories that I would

get would increase the pain tenfold.

"You'll miss your bus if you doze off like that."

My sister walked in looking fresh, energetic and ready. I

glanced in the mirror in front of me. I looked pathetic.

"I don't want to go to school." I muttered and closed my

eyes trying to contain the tears that were threatening to

spill.

"Stop being a baby." she threw her files at me.

"Can you hold these for me? I have a lot to hold." she

pointed to the large record books in her hand.

"Thanks for being so considerate to me after I just suffered

from a concussion." I mocked sarcastically.

"I know. I've been enough considerate. Now, it's time you

become a little mature."

Is she that rude for real?

Is she a female version of officer Badr Al- Din?

Are they in this together? Conspiracy of Making my life

miserable?

I shook my head to brush away those unwanted thoughts. I

think I shook my head rather harshly cause now the pain

had increased.

"Where are you taking me?" I asked as the two scary and

tall men dragged me through a dark corridor.

"Can you at least be a little considerate towards a 15-yearold who just suffered from a concussion?" I tried to move

but, they were....

Well, let's just say that I was like rat in front of them.

They dragged me until there was large door in front of us.

They pushed me inside. I fell flat on my face. The door

closed behind me.

What the...?

My legs didn't have the energy to move now.

Sunlight was pouring through the cottage style windows. I

could tell that it was midafternoon. I heard footsteps and

then I realized I was not alone. I lifted my face off the

ground and glanced across the room. The room was vast

and I could see grey everywhere.

And, the room smelled of blood? I saw a person standing

in front of me. His back facing me. He was really tall or I

guess I was too short.

I quietly walked back to the door and tried to unlock it.

"What's wrong with you?" I harshly twisted the door

handle. Just then I saw an arm snake around my arm

slowly and then it clasped my hand which was busy

unlocking the door. I looked up.

Officer Badr Al-Din.

"What happened, sir? Why are you here? Why am I here?"

I asked him in a shaky voice as I tried hard to free my

hand. His face held no expression. His jaw was clenched

and his eyes were filled with anger.

"You've been imprisoned. You are found guilty of a

murder."

One sentence and it changed my entire life forever.

I didn't have the time to back away or save myself because

he began to drag me further inside the room.

"I didn't do anything. Please, leave me. It's hurting." I

yelled as he dug his fingers into my wrist.

"Tsk. Tsk. Tsk." he clicked his tongue.

"You should have thought about this before." he pushed

me on the chair and started tying my hands to its arms.

With chains.

"I didn't do anything." I sobbed and the pain at the back of

my head increased tenfold.

"Please, be a little considerate. I just suffered from a

concussion." I sobbed.

"Till how long are you going to use your concussion to coax

me?"

"For 2 weeks." I replied.

He stopped midway and stared at me.

"The doctor said that it takes 2 weeks for a person to heal

from a concussion."

"Stop it." he grabbed my jaw.

"Are you going to raise your hands on a teenager? On a

girl?" I asked him obviously horrified by his actions.

"So much is going to happen in this dungeon." he smiled

wickedly.

"Dungeon?"

"Yes, your personal dungeon. Yours and mine. I am your

personal tormentor." he left my jaw with a jerk.

"No, stop. Please, stop." I sobbed loudly as I clenched my

eyes shut.

"Fatima."

"Fatima."

I felt a familiar voice call out to me. The voice was clear

but, very far away.

"Help." I raised my hand.

"What happened?"

I opened my eyes and choked on air. The first thing that I

saw was darkness. Darkness of the dawn. My favorite time

of the day.

"Are you alright?"

I looked beside me and my sister was holding my hand.

"What happened?" I whispered.

She sighed.

"I was going to ask you the same question. Why are you

crying?"

I ran my fingers on my cheeks and sure enough they were

wet.

"You were crying and muttering gibberish. Are you okay?"

the concern in her voice was evident.

"I had a nightmare. Actually, dawn mare." I left her hand

and searched my bag for water.

She laughed lightly.

"Trust you to invent new words, Fatima."

"Well, you ruined my assignment."

I looked down and her papers were wet.

'Did I cry a bucket full of tears? How did this happen?"

"It's alright. I told you the assignment isn't important

anyway." she smiled faintly and began to arrange her

papers.

"How are you not yelling? And, why do you look so

happy?" I sat up straight.

This was so not her.

"Okay, that's enough. You're adding fuel to the fire. Go

back to sleep."

"How did the fire not burn everything yet?"

"Your bucket full of tears have extinguished it." she

mocked sarcastically and went back to her work.

I settled my head against the back of my seat and moved

the curtains aside.

Sunrise.

The sun rose up slowly and its color became more vibrant.

The sun signified hope. Hope of a bright and a new day.

The clouds were still covering it. When I was little, I often

wondered if the clouds fought the sun when it threatened

to rise up. But the sun would win eventually. The light

overpowered the darkness.

Every day I would fall asleep in my bus. Due, to my

optokinetic nystagmus. A pretty complicated name for bus

sickness. But I would wake up to see the sunrise. These

days sleep was something that I despised. Something that

terrified me.

Should I consult a therapist?

Or the doctor who I visited for a follow up?

Should I tell him about those weird flashbacks and

dreams?

Why the hell is officer Badr Al- Din invading my dreams?

Was invading my life not enough?

Dreams are supposed to be sweet and mine were bitter.

"She came screaming outside. She had her ear in her

hands."

"Yes." Hajera nodded.

I had tried pressurizing my brain to remember what had

happened with Sarah and after continuous attempts I was

able to serialize the flashbacks. But they weren't exactly in

order yet.

"Ah, I forgot to check." she held my hand and twisted it.

"What?"

I frowned when I saw a mark. I had never seen it before.

"What's that?"

She gaped at me horrified.

"Don't you tell me that you don't remember this." she

shook her head in disbelief.

"Remember what?"

"This. This Stitch mark." she held up my hand.

"I don't..." I began but, stopped as something clicked in my

mind. I closed my eyes.

A girl. Little shorter than I am. Lean. And, bent

downward. Her hands touching her feet. I couldn't see

her face. She was shaking.

I opened my eyes and looked around.

What was that?

I got up feeling extremely suffocated.

"I am just going to take a sun bath. It's really cold in here."

I hurriedly pushed the bench and walked out of the room.

I was ascending the stairs that led to the ground when a

flashback hit me hard and I clutched my head. I saw that

same girl. Bent downward and shaking. I stopped and

clutched the railing. But I couldn't remember much about

it. I felt wetness flowing down my nose. I immediately

touched it. Blood. It was blood.

"Oh god." I clutched the railing as I tried to get up. I

somehow steadied myself but, I realized I couldn't stand

so, I sat down for a while. But the pain and blood were not

stopping.

"What's wrong?"

I turned around at the voice.

Officer Badr al- din.

"Your timings are pretty bad, officer." I muttered to myself

as I closed my eyes. I heard his footsteps descending the

stairs.

"What's wrong, Fatima?"

I looked up.

"I need a tissue." I pressed my hand to my nose hoping he

wouldn't see the blood.

"What's wrong?" he crouched down and gently tried

remove my hand. I pulled my hand away.

"Your nose. It's bleeding." he muttered slowly.

"Jamal." he yelled loudly and I flinched.

"Jamal." he yelled again.

"Sayid." the guard came rushing out.

"Call the teachers and the doctor." he ordered in Arabic.

"Here." he took his handkerchief out.

"Press it to your nose."

I held it and kept it close to my nose. I didn't want to press

it. It was burning.

"Look up."

"Why? What's there?" I looked up, the sky was blue and

clear.

"What?" I looked back at him.

"Are you dumb?" he looked annoyed.

"What did I do? You told me to look up." I muttered

defensively.

He forcefully pushed his finger under my chin and tilted

my head up.

"Didn't they teach you this at school? In your science

class? First aid for nose bleeds?" he spat.

I tried to look down but, he didn't move his finger.

"Look up until the doctor comes."

"I'll."

"Why did you remove the cloth? Are you dumb?" he

almost yelled, his voice was really loud anyway.

He took the cloth from my hand and pressed it to my nose.

"Ahhh."

Reflexively I pushed his hand away. Rather harshly. He

glared at me for a second. And, I put on a sorry expression.

"I'll do it." I extended my hand for the handkerchief.

"Jamal." he yelled again as he handed me his handkerchief

and stared at me.

I quietly pressed it to my nose.

"What happened? Fatima. Oh, help her. Help her." I heard

my teacher's concerned voice.

"Stay still. Don't move for another 10 minutes." I heard the

doctor's voice as I stared at the ceiling.

"So, what happened to her?" came officer Badr Al-Din's

voice.

"It's just due to weakness." the doctor stated casually.

"Is it real? I mean can someone fake something like this?"

I immediately looked at him.

Can he be a little considerate?

Why would he accuse me like that all the time?

"I am pretty sure you saw blood oozing out of her nose and

I don't think a person can fake it."

I shot him a look that said: "you are disgusting".

"Tilt your head back." he warned and I immediately

obeyed.

"Ma'am."

I glanced sideways and I saw Hajera and a few of my

friends peeking inside the infirmary.

"What are you doing here? Get back to your classes." my

teacher yelled.

"It's break time. We just came here to check up on

Fatima." Hajera smiled nervously.

I smiled.

"Don't disturb her." she warned and walked out. Officer

Badr Al-Din received a call.

They came to stand by me and I gripped Hajera's hand.

"What's with you getting into accidents these days?"

I laughed lightly.

"Not funny, guys." I closed my eyes.

"I was actually shocked when Nadifa got into an accident.

I thought you were the only one who could get into

accidents."

"Nadifa?" I glanced sideways and I saw her.

A little short and lean. A really perfect nose, dark brown

eyes and some dark circles underneath them. A little

bandage on her forehead. She looked familiar.

"Do you not remember her?" Yasmeen gasped.

"Of course, I do." I smiled sweetly at her.

Fake smile.

She smiled back.

She looked familiar.

"So, did you take your sun bath?" Hajera laughed.

"It got interrupted." I focused on Nadifa.

"Yeah, these days troubles and officer Badr Al-Din have

refused to leave you alone." Yasmeen teased.

I rolled my eyes.

"If you're going to talk about him and my troubles. Please,

leave me alone."

Just then the bell rang.

"Let's go. Break time's up." Hajera announced and smiled

at me.

"Bye." I smiled at her.

Everyone walked out except Nadifa.

Should I ask her?

"Nadefa, do you know anything about Sarah?" I asked her

as everyone else left us alone.

"Yeah, the girl who lost her ear." she shrugged.

I grimaced at her lack of sympathy and the fact that she

had said it so easily.

"So, do you know anything else about it?"

Even though my gaze was on the ceiling I could see her.

"What would I know? Other than the fact that she came

running out crying and screaming."

I hummed.

"Do you know something about it?" she muttered after a

while. She sounded weak.

I looked at her and smiled.

"How would I know about something that only you know

about?"

She looked confused and then she laughed.

"It's not funny."

She stopped laughing. Then she came to stand in front of

me.

"The concussion has affected your brain really badly,

Fatima." she smiled and walked out.

I sat there for another 10 minutes trying to remember who

Nadifa was but, I couldn't see her in ant of the memories

that I had. I sighed and glanced at my watch.

10 minutes were over.

Nadifa has definitely got something to do with this.

Should I tell Officer Badr Al-Din?

He wouldn't believe me.

Should I get a proof then?

Proof of what? And, how? From where?