CHAPTER 58

　　Zenith's Point Of View

　　So, that's how it was. I don't have an idea who am I right now. The truth keeps running through my mind. This is guilt, right? I'm too bad person to accuse someone of not really doing anything wrong. All this time, I'm hunting the wrong person. There is no reason for me to stay here, Grandpa Zilver must know about this.

　　Two days ago after our fight with Genesis. I admit, she's really good like my grandfather when it comes to fighting and I'm afraid I'll just stay like this. A poor creature.

　　"Zenith …" I lazily turned to Vior who had just arrived.

　　I was outside the house and sitting on the lawn. I just hid my face and then bled.

　　"Hmm?" I growl weakly.

　　"Are you okay? If you want someone to talk to, I'm here. I'll listen," I heard him say.

　　Even if I wanted to, I didn’t have the courage. I do not know what to do. I feel empty because of what I found out.

　　"It's okay if you don't want to. I'm just here," he said.

　　When I felt him leave my side I immediately pulled his arm to prevent it from getting stuck. "Stay …" I promised with difficulty and then let him go immediately.

　　He went back to his seat and looked like I was staring at nothing.

　　"I'm sorry about your parents. I didn't know it was like that—"

　　"No, its okay. It's been a long time. I just want to know what happened to them so I'm very angry with Genesis but I was wrong. I couldn't believe that I thought badly of my parents best friend," I stated, stopping him to mercy me.

　　"You're not at fault either, you're innocent and you don't know what really happened so you shouldn't blame yourself …" I took a deep breath because of what he said.

　　Depending on what I did just because I knew Genesis had something to do with what happened, it is really my fault.

　　No one should be blamed but me. I'm just not anyone even Grandpa, Genesis, and the others. I'm the only one who does those things.

　　"Zenith?" I was distracted by his call.

　　He was looking at me directly. "Whatever you're thinking and feeling? Please, don't do anything that will hurt you," he sounds concerned.

　　"Why?" that's all that came out of my mouth.

　　His forehead furrowed. "Huh?"

　　"Why are you doing all this? That? You're always there. You're always here with me every time I have a problem or anything, you're still there. Why?" I clarify to him.

　　Suddenly his face turned red then he avoided looking at me, his ears are also became red. Is

　　he shy?

　　"Ahmm … It's not what you think …"

　　"Huh? I'm not thinking noh, I'm just asking you about it," somehow I felt relieved by his expectations.

　　He became quieter and blushed even more. Is he really a man? Based on the books I have read, when a man's reaction is pleasant. It means, he's shy or just inlove with someone but I don't want to think about what.

　　"You know what? You're weird. Are you embarrassed? Or don't fucking tell me that …"

　　He immediately turned to face me. "No! That's not it! It's not like that. I'm just not used to being a woman like this," he's not very convincing.

　　"You sounds defensive. If you're not used to it then you shouldn't be here. So, what else are you doing?"

　　He was just shocked when he stood up. "Why did I suddenly become? You're the one I'm comforting here and then all of a sudden, you're teasing me?" he insisted.

　　"Psh! Who said that I need comfort? Besides, I'm not teasing you. What's wrong with asking?" I replied.

　　"Fine. You win." Then I turned away. Still really upset, huh? I stood up to follow him.

　　"What's your problem? If you think I'm sad because of what happened the other day then yes but I don't need you to comfort me. Just listen to me, okay?"

　　He was stunned at the same time as he rolled his eyes, shocked by what I said. Then his eyes turned down to my hand holding his so I immediately took it back and stuck it in my side.

　　I went back to where I was sitting earlier and he followed. I just looked at the strange sky here.

　　"Because that's when I started thinking. I was 3 years old back then when I asked Grandpa Zilver about my parents but all he said was that he didn't know where they were, maybe he left and left me. That time … I was very sad but then I realize that Grandpa is there to replace them. Everything goes well then suddenly, Grandpa became so cold towards me. One day, he talked to me about the assassination thing and our work … "

　　"Hold on. Didn't the queen say something else? Your parents died before she could bring you to your grandfather," he said, which stopped me from telling the story.

　　"I don't know but let me finish first so you can understand more ..." I said then continued the narration, "After that. Grandpa left me on a mountain that other people are afraid of because of the nature there I didn't know that that was my first attempt to be an assassin. Grandpa just left me then he also said that I had to come home with us after a week. And then, that's it … I agreed with the others "Another way to die there and I met Venom which is your friend, I don't know what happened back then why she was there like me but she saved my life before."

　　"So, you were the one she's been talking about before when she got here at the Academy? You also helped her a lot, right? You saved her life from her devil father … What happened between you two?" he asked.

　　I then remembered what Grandpa did to Venom then. "Grandpa Zilver threatened her but in a good way. I took him with us but when I had a new mission abroad, I left him with us to feel at home. I can't take him with me to kill hahaha. When I come back after my mission, he's gone. Grandpa said that it kicked him out and gave him a lot of money to start anew. Grandpa doesn't want me to have a friend. He said that it will be just my weakness and distraction so he has to do that , I haven't done anything. Venom also chooses to leave as well. "

　　That’s one of the bad memories I have that I don’t want to experience again. She was there when I needed her the most and I was so hurt when she left me just out of fear.

　　My heart became more distant from Grandpa no'n and it helped to finish my training more easily. As much as I wanted to prove to him my ability, I almost killed myself because of that.

　　"Things happened so fast and I immediately became Kaitaasan at the age of eight. Then I found out that papa and mama had been dead for a long time so they couldn't help me or

　　alleviate what I went through. I was devastated and fucked up, I can't even sleep well just because of that. All my life I thought that was true but it wasn't … "

　　Sad to say but that is life. It is a roller-coaster with full of mystery. All you need to survive is to just go on with it and live.

　　You will not last long if you practice weakness and do nothing. Nothing will happen in your life but you just die and that is boring. You don’t even feel your sense of striving or struggling with something, be happy with what you’ re doing. In short, you don’t enjoy your life. You just wasted it like others always does.

　　And even though I've experienced those things, I'm still thankful. It's clear to me why. There were a reason and a purpose of my life, to be a warrior and to save humanity.