Chapter 4

"She will have to stop running for a while, keep an eye on her and make sure she gets enough sleep." were the words I woke up with.

It was a small room. Very small. The walls are white and the beds orange. What a bad mix of colors, even for a hospital. My mom was in front of me and someone that I truly didn't expect. Him. I was still pissed with him. The guy doesn't even know me and already thinks he can be my therapist, even though he was right, but I will still never admit it to myself. I was staring at the two people in front of me without speaking a word. I passed out, again.

"You did that to yourself again, didn't you?" My mother asked quietly.

I froze.

"Why do I even bother Mariah?! You will never listen to me anyway! Keep messing up your life and deal with the consequences alone, without anyone by your side."

She was yelling before she left the room with a slam of the door.

I was staring at the door, too confused to even talk.

"That was a stupid idea, a very very stupid and immature idea." I heard a low and angry voice say in front of me.

"Mind your own business, Jones," I replied, and looked down at my rings.

"I will mind my own business if you stop interrupting me from doing it!" I heard the voice again, but this time, it was full of danger.

"Mariana, just use your fucking brain next time and we will not have to mind each other's business again." And with that, I was shivering.

I kept on looking down at my hands and soon after, I heard the door closing behind him.

"My name is not Mariana," I said quietly as the tears began to wash my face.

"And I don't have a fucking brain."

* * * * *

I stood in the empty white room for quite a long time before the doctor came in. He told me that I would have to 'take it easy on myself for the next couple of weeks and if I didn't, there would be no going back. His words did scare me, but the thought of not running anymore scared me more.

Running is my way to escape reality.

I can't see myself facing my parents, facing him, facing myself. It will be difficult, but I will try to take it easy on myself, even if it means that I will have to face reality for the first time in a while.

The doctor gave me papers to sign before I left and added that my mom and my 'boyfriend' left a while ago, which was the only thing that he didn't surprise me with. Did I expect them to stay?

No.

Did I want them to stay? Well, that's a different question.

I wanted my mother to fight for me. I wanted her to try to face me, deal with me.

She didn't.

She never did.

I knew that she gave up on me from the moment I started training. The way she glared at me every time I came back from the gym was a way to show me how disappointed she is in me.

But glaring was the only thing she did. She never said anything about it. She never talked to me about what was bothering her, only one word could change the whole situation.

At that time, I would do anything to make her happy, to make her proud. But the women didn't even try talking to me, and it made me realize some things.

Now, I feel pain every time I look into her dark eyes.

I feel worthless.

But how would you feel if your only daughter became a trainer in a simple small gym, and not the doctor that you always wanted her to be? Well, she didn't take that very well, and she just gave up on me. On her only daughter, and I will never forgive her for that. And about my 'husband', well, he is an ass.

An ass that doesn't know my name.

Being with him in the same house without being able to run away from there, and running in general will be... hard. I was in the freaking house for less than a day and I passed out.

The causes don't matter right now, I still passed out while I was staying at his house....next to his house, but it still counts! After I signed the papers, I left the hospital with a single thought.

Where am I going now? I need to sleep. I need to think about my body for the next few weeks, but there was one way I am sleeping in the same house as this asshole.

I could go sleep on the bench next to the mall, or I could go sleep at a bus stop next to the market, or I could even go to a homeless at and ask him if he wants to share the house that he doesn't have.

The cold wind that was hitting my face with lots of power didn't help me choose, and the fact that it was dark outside made me rethink my options. I think the homeless option is the best. With these thoughts occupying my mind, I became mad. I had nowhere to go. I have no one in this world.

I am all alone.

I am all by myself. And the worst thing is that I don't know what to do.

The feeling of sadness overcame the anger and I realized, just at that moment, how weak I was from day to day. I was never strong, but now I am even weaker than before. I feel like someone took all of the power that I had left in my body and just threw it away. I feel like someone took away all of the hope.

I feel empty, again.

I feel like I am slowly falling, but there is no one behind to catch me. To take away the pain. I feel like nothing, no one cares about me. But how can you blame me for feeling that way?

People don't let me feel like I am worth something, like I am somehow important to them. No one cares about me enough to even ask me if I am OK, if I need help, if I need something, anything.

My parents are not here for me in one of the darkest periods of my life, which they caused by forcing me to marry the asshole! The same asshole that doesn't know my freaking name!

How lower can it even get? I was just in a hospital, I just passed out. Usually, when people pass out and go to a hospital, their whole family comes to visit them with flowers and chocolates.

I could use chocolates. But the only thing I got from the asshole and my mother was me passing out in the middle of the forest! After thinking like crazy outside, I decided to do the last thing I would expect from myself.

I decided to call my boss,

Logan Smith.