39. A Lesson in Mothering

Disclaimer: If I owned it, MerDer would get more screen time, and Sadie would go back to the morgue, along with Denny. ;)

Sorry for the wait. Thanks for all the kind reviews! I really appreciate them.

As Meredith stood at the OR board, all she could think about was the fact that this time next week, she and Derek would be in Italy. The wedding was just five days away, and she was more than ready for it. All of the preparations were made. Cakes, dresses, seating, guests…everything was planned out.

This morning, she had scrubbed in on a tumor removal with Derek, and now she just found out that the liver transplant she was supposed to be assisting on this afternoon had been moved to tomorrow. After erasing the surgery from the board, she went down to the vending machine on the second floor where the good snacks were, hoping Derek would page her to let her in on something.

She saw Dr. Bailey heading her way holding Tuck in one arm, and the diaper bag in the other. "Daycare's closed," she informed her. "Of all days for the d-a-m-n daycare to be closed, it had to be today…"

Meredith stopped and gave her former resident a sympathetic smile. "What's today?"

"I'm scheduled to assist on a humpty dumpty this morning, but now, it looks like that's not gonna happen…," Bailey sighed, shifting her son slightly in her arms.

Meredith did what she knew she had to do. "I'll watch him."

"What?," Bailey asked.

"I'll watch him. My surgery just got pulled, so I'm free. I'll watch him for you if you want," Meredith offered kindly.

"You'd do that?," she questioned hopefully.

Meredith shrugged. "Yeah. It'll be fine…fun. I mean, you saved my life so…," she assured her, as if trying to convince herself.

"That is true. I did save your life," Bailey agreed, smiling slightly. "Are you sure though?"

"Just tell me what I need to do with him, and it'll be fine," Meredith nodded, tucking some hair behind her ears.

"He just ate, so he shouldn't be hungry for a while. But if he is, there's snacks in the bag. There's books, crayons, toys, stuff like that…if you have any questions, page me or ask O'Malley. He's good with him," Bailey chuckled.

Meredith smiled. "Okay."

"Oh, and whenever he says "potty", that means he either has to go, or he already went," Bailey explained. "Sorry in advance for that by the way…"

"Oh, it's…that's fine. Where do I…?," she asked nervously.

"There's a potty for him in the resident lounge," Bailey told her. "Look, are you sure? This is a lot."

"It's no problem. I'll be fine," Meredith said. "Here…" She reached for the diaper bag and draped it over her shoulder.

"Thank you, Grey. I owe you," Bailey sighed. "Okay Tuck, Mommy has to go help save a life, so you're going to spend a little time with Meredith today," she said excitedly.

"Mehdif?," he asked, pointing to Meredith.

Bailey smiled and kissed her son's cheek. "Yep, that's Meredith."

"Pay?," he asked, playing with the collar of his mom's coat.

"Yeah, you and Meredith can play," Bailey laughed. "I'll see you later, okay?" She handed the toddler off to Meredith, who accepted him into her arms.

"We'll be fine", Meredith said with a smile, bouncing the boy slightly on her hip. "Ready Tuck? I'm going to get something from the vending machine, then we can go play."

"Thank you, Meredith," Bailey said sincerely. "I appreciate it."

Meredith simply smiled. "It's no problem."

The two women walked in opposite directions down the hall. Meredith and Tuck walked to the vending machines and she peered into the glass. "What should I get, Tuck?"

The boy looked at her and smiled. "Foo?"

Meredith giggled. "You sound like my niece." She pushed the button for the barbecue chips, but realized that retrieving them would be a challenge with the two year old in her arms. "I uh…you can walk, right?," she asked before rolling her eyes at herself. "What am I saying?"

She gently set Tuck on his feet and made sure he was steady before getting the chips. "There we go. You want to walk?," she asked softly.

"I wak," he nodded, grabbing into Meredith's fingers.

Meredith giggled slightly and let the little boy lead her down the hall. After they got onto the elevator and back up to the fourth floor, Meredith decided to sit over in the small waiting area. "I guess we can…sit on the floor," Meredith shrugged, not wanting him to fall out of a chair.

Just as she plopped herself down, Cristina walked by her in the hall. "Oh you cannot be serious?," she asked sarcastically.

"What?," Meredith asked, raising her head to look up at her friend.

Cristina walked over to her and smirked. "You're not even a bride yet and they're already mommy tracking you?"

"No, they're not mommy tracking me. This was voluntary mommy tracking. Bailey needed someone to watch him, so I offered," Meredith shrugged, pulling out some puzzles and coloring books from the diaper bag.

"So, what, you're just going to sit on the floor all day eating animal crackers and singing the ABCs?," she asked amusedly.

"I um…hopefully not all day," Meredith replied.

"Mommy tracked. Sucks for you," Cristina grinned as she walked down the hall.

Meredith just laughed and rolled her eyes. "Okay, Tuck, what do you want to do?"

"Pay," the boy nodded, handing Meredith a little toy alligator.

"Okay then…," she giggled. This wasn't as thrilling as being in the OR wielding a scalpel, but she figured a few hours of entertaining a two year old might be fun.

--

Derek had just finished a minor nerve procedure when he spotted Meredith on the floor with what looked like Bailey's son. He deposited his chart at the nurses' station and walked over to her, unable to hide the amused grin on his face. "Hey."

Meredith looked up at him and smiled. "Hey."

"What are you doing?," he asked, taking a seat on the coffee table.

"Watching Tuck for Bailey," Meredith explained as she colored in a coloring book.

"Boo," Tuck said, pointing to the blue crayon in Meredith's hand.

Meredith looked at the boy and smiled. "You want the blue? Here you go," she smiled, handing it to him.

"Voluntarily?," he asked.

"My surgery got cancelled. And she needed my help," Meredith repeated for the second time.

"That's very nice of you," he grinned. "Did you have lunch yet?"

"Nope, I was waiting for you," she yawned, running her fingers through her hair.

"Potty," the little boy announced, tugging on Meredith's scrub top.

"Crap. Potty," she whispered. "You have to go potty, hon?"

Tuck nodded urgently and stood up from his place on the floor. "Potty," he repeated, dancing around a little bit.

"Want me to…," Derek offered.

"No, I got it. There's a potty for him in the lounge. I'll be back," she said as she scooped up the boy and sprinted down the hall.

Derek couldn't tear the smile off his face as he sat there watching over the coloring books and crayons waiting for them to return. Meredith never ceased to amaze him with her inherent mommy instincts. He picked up her coloring book and chuckled slightly at the teddy bear on the page she was in the middle of coloring, thinking about what a wonderful mother she'd make one day.

Meredith returned a few minutes later with a much calmer looking Tuck walking in front of her, holding onto both of her hands. "Crisis averted," she giggled as they slowly approached Derek.

"You didn't get peed on?," Derek asked with a chuckle.

Meredith shook her head. "Nope. I thought I might, but we made it."

"Good," Derek smiled. "You hungry?"

"Yeah, just let me pack up this stuff, and we can go," she replied, closing the coloring book and depositing it into the tote bag Bailey had given her.

"You're quite the artist. That teddy bear…great work," he smirked, helping her put the crayons back in the box while Tuck sat holding his toy watching the two of them.

"You're such an—shut up," she laughed, nudging him slightly with her shoulder.

Derek just looked at her and smiled. "I happen to be serious, but fine…," he replied as they packed up the rest of the various odds and ends Meredith and Tuck had been playing with. "How long are you watching him?"

"Bailey's in surgery now, so I'm not sure. Probably a few more hours at least," Meredith said. "Come on, Tuck. Want to go have lunch?"

The little boy grabbed onto Meredith's hand and smiled up at her. "Unch?"

Meredith laughed. "That's right. Lunch." She went to grab the bag when Derek stopped her.

"I got it," he said, slinging it over his shoulder and taking Tuck's other hand.

As the three of them walked down the hall, Cristina passed by and smirked. "You're both mommy tracked."

"We are not," Meredith argued, laughing at her friend. "Are you going to lunch?"

"I'll be there in a few minutes," she called out as they went in opposite directions down the hall.

The three of them reached the elevator and let Tuck press the call button so they could go downstairs to eat. Once it arrived, they stepped inside and went down to the second floor cafeteria for lunch.

Izzie spotted them as they walked into the cafeteria and called them over. "Mer!"

Meredith looked to Derek. "Do you mind if we eat with them?"

"No, I don't mind," he said, shaking his head. "I'll go get us something to eat, and I'll meet you over there."

"Okay," Meredith smiled, taking the bag from his shoulder. She and Tuck walked over to the table and George immediately picked the little boy up and put him on his lap.

"You're watching him?," Izzie guessed, popping a chip into her mouth.

Meredith nodded. "Yep."

"Mommy tracked," Alex smirked amusedly.

"That's what I said," Cristina said, dropping down in the seat next to him.

"Okay, it's not mommy tracking if you do it voluntarily. And I'm not even having a baby, so that doesn't make any sense," Meredith pointed out, pulling a sippy cup from the bag and handing it to the little boy.

"Soon enough," Alex said with a shrug as he took a bit of his sandwich.

"What?," Meredith asked confusedly.

Izzie rolled her eyes. "They're placing bets. Just to be clear, I have not. "

"Me either," George chimed in.

"Bets on what?," she asked.

"When McDreamy knocks you up," Cristina informed her. "I have fifty on a honeymoon baby."

"I—seriously?," Meredith asked in amused shock.

"Hey guys," Lexie greeted, taking a seat next to George at the increasingly crowding table.

"Hey," Meredith replied. "Who else is in on this?," she asked the rest of the table.

"In on what?," Derek asked, pulling a chair over and squeezing it between Meredith's and George's.

"So far, just me, Yang, and Sloan," Alex told her.

"They're betting on how long it takes for me to get pregnant," she informed him.

"I'll feed him," George offered, taking the macaroni and cheese of the tray.

"Thank you, George," Meredith said with a smile.

"You're taking bets?," Derek asked curiously, unable to hide the amusement in his voice.

"I gave you the benefit of the doubt and said by Christmas," Alex said as he took a sip of his drink.

Meredith rolled her eyes. "Well, what did Sloan say?"

"Wedding night," Cristina said simply.

"Of course he would," Derek sighed.

"I'm sure that when they want to have a baby, they'll have a baby. And it's none of our business," Lexie said in defense of her sister.

Meredith smiled. "Thank you, Lexie."

"You know what? Raise my fifty to a hundred," Cristina said confidently.

Meredith looked to her friend and smirked. "Evil…"

"Hey, you're the one who got yourself mommy tracked." Cristina threw her hands up in defense.

"Oh and that means you can put money on my womb?," Meredith asked, thoroughly amused by the situation rather than annoyed or horrified.

Alex made a face. "Well, when you put it like that…"

Izzie smiled. "Okay, new topic. Everybody ready for the wedding this Saturday?"

Meredith looked to her friend and smiled. "Thank you, Iz. I was getting a little creeped out."

"Yeah," Derek agreed. "Me too."

--

After lunch, Meredith made her way back upstairs with Tuck. Derek had to head in to surgery, but he said he'd come find her later if he had some free time.

"Chief," Meredith called out when she saw him walking down the hall. He turned around and smiled at her. "Do you know if Bailey is still in surgery?"

Richard nodded. "The humpty dumpty got a little tricky. They had some trouble taking the patient off bypass, so it's going to take a little while longer," he explained.

"Okay," Meredith said with a nod. "Thanks."

"Are you watching Tuck?," he asked curiously.

Meredith shifted the little boy on her hip. "I um…she had a surgery, and mine got cancelled, so I volunteered to help. If it's a problem—"

"Oh. No, no, no. It's fine. It's nice of you to do that," Richard said with a sincere smile. "Keep up the good work, Grey."

"Thank you, sir," Meredith said softly. Richard smiled and nodded before turning the corner of the hall, leaving Meredith with Tuck. "I thought we were getting in trouble," she whispered to him, giggling slightly.

Tuck looked at her curiously. "Tubble?"

"Nope, we're not in trouble. No time outs for us," Meredith smiled as the two walked down the hall, heading back to the waiting room they were sitting in before lunch.

After they arrived, Meredith settled Tuck down on the floor with some puzzles and helped him put it together. "Do you know what animal this is?," she asked him with a smile.

"Duck," the little boy replied. Meredith giggled and handed him the puzzle piece, letting him maneuver it into the correct spot. "Good job!," she cheered enthusiastically when he fit it in the right place.

"Meredith?"

Meredith turned around and saw Adele standing behind her holding her purse with both hands. "Hi," Meredith smiled meekly, wondering to herself what to say.

Adele came closer and sat in a chair next to them. "I'm just waiting for Richard. He's taking me to a late lunch over at the small café across the street," the older woman explained, setting her purse in the empty chair.

Meredith stood up and sat in the chair next to her, figuring it was less awkward than talking to her from the floor. "Oh. That's nice."

"Is this Bailey's son?," she asked with a smile. "I haven't seen him for a while."

"Yeah. He's getting big now," Meredith said softly.

"I watched you a lot when you were his age,"she said, a small nostalgic smile coming over her face.

Meredith looked to her and cocked her head slightly, a habit she had picked up from spending so much time with Derek. She knew Adele had watched her for a few months after her father left, but Meredith had no idea she watched her at such a young age too. "You did?"

Adele nodded. "I remember the first time I watched you, you were his age, maybe a little older. You were always so tiny," she laughed softly. "I was supposed to meet Richard for a lunch date, but of course, he was busy…anyway, while I was waiting for him, I saw you wandering down the hall by yourself. There was no one with you, so I assumed you were lost. You were crying and looked scared, so I called you over. I knew who you were as soon as I saw you."

Meredith watched the woman as she spoke to her. It was times like these that made her wonder how her mother could just leave her roaming the halls while she was still in diapers. Meredith didn't even have children, but still, she couldn't imagine leaving them without knowing they were safe.

"I walked over and you held your arms up. Oh, you were so adorable," she sighed, smiling softly. "I picked you up and I remember you rested your head on my shoulder. I saw one of the nurses looking for you. This was before the hospital had day care. Apparently, she'd gotten sidetracked with other patients, and was having trouble keeping an eye on you. So I offered to watch you."

"You did?," Meredith asked quietly.

"There was no way I was leaving you…even if I wanted to, I couldn't. You didn't want me to put you down," she laughed sadly. "So I just spent the day with you. Richard cancelled lunch after getting paged to an emergency surgery, but even still, I didn't leave…later on that day, I found out that usually, one of the nurses would look after you if your father had to work, and your mother had to bring you to the hospital."

Meredith gave the older woman a small smile. "So, you watched me a lot?"

"I did. After a while, you even started coming to my house, and the two of us would spend the day together," Adele explained before frowning slightly. "I knew…what was going on between my husband and your mother. I didn't want to see that, and I certainly didn't want you seeing it—such an innocent little thing. So I would pick you up, and we would go different places whenever we got the chance."

"You did all of that for me?," she asked, suddenly feeling a sense of gratefulness to the woman. The woman who saved her from the trouble at home, and offered her a sense of normalcy and happiness in the face of her less than pleasant childhood.

"I enjoyed it. You helped me get through some tough days," Adele pointed out with a sad smile.

"I um…I didn't know. I mean, I knew you watched me, but…I didn't know you did all of that for me. It's…thank you, Adele," Meredith said softly.

Adele placed her hand on top of Meredith's and patted it slightly. "You turned into a brilliant surgeon. And from the looks of it, you have quite the heart, giving up surgeries to watch this little one."

"Well, thank you," Meredith replied, looking to Tuck to make sure he was okay.

"And congratulations. I'm looking forward to Saturday," she smiled.

"Oh, good," Meredith said enthusiastically. "And I hope you don't mind me using your husband…"

"Oh, Richard is honored to walk with you down the aisle. I think he may be more excited than you and Derek," Adele joked.

Meredith giggled. "Well good, I'm glad."

"Okay, well, I better go find my husband," Adele said as the two stood up from their chairs. She squeezed Meredith's arm affectionately and smiled. "It was nice talking to you, sweetheart."

"Yeah, you too," Meredith replied sincerely, watching as the woman walked off down the hall.

Meredith rejoined the little boy on the floor and helped him with another puzzle. As she played with him, she wondered if perhaps some of her inherent need to nurture had been thanks to Adele's care and kindness to her at such a young age. If that were the case, she would be forever thankful to the woman, who in many ways had been more of a mother to her than her own.

--

After work, Meredith went home without Derek, whose surgery had run late. When he walked in the door, he found her on the couch, a laptop propped on her lap. He smiled slightly at the determined look on her face and walked over to sit down next to her. "Hey."

"Hey," she said softly, not even turning her head away from the screen.

"What are you doing?," he asked curiously.

"Googling stuff about bachelorette parties. Apparently, Izzie wants my input," Meredith sighed, leaning closer to him.

Derek wrapped his arm around her shoulder and pulled her close. "Find anything good?"

"Nothing remotely appropriate, but I'm looking…," she replied. "Ooh look. Pin the penis on the man. We could play that," she said with a giggle.

"Wow, that's…they actually make stuff like that…," he said surprisingly as Meredith clicked on a picture of the game board.

"That's uh…graphic", she said with a nod.

Derek laughed. "A little, yeah."

"I'll add it to the list. Maybe with a few drinks, I'll actually enjoy it," Meredith pointed out, writing the idea down on a piece of paper.

"Who's coming to this?," he asked.

"I think it's just going to be me, Iz, Cristina, and Lexie, if she wants," she informed him as she clicked on another website. "Oh, a sex toy party."

"Seriously?," he asked amusedly.

Meredith giggled. "I'm kidding. You're way better than any dildo."

"Thanks…I think," he laughed. "So do you think Alex and George would want to come to the bachelor party? Otherwise, it's just going to be Mark and me. And a two person bachelor party consisting of me, Mark, and a bag of chips is kind of pathetic."

"And a bachelor party consisting of you, Mark, George, Alex, and a bag of chips is less pathetic how?," she teased.

"The four of us could go to Joe's…might be fun", he laughed.

Meredith smirked. "Yeah, they'd probably come along. But no strip club."

"I wouldn't do that. And besides, I'd rather have you give me a private show," he grinned, quirking his eyebrows.

Meredith shut the laptop and placed it on the side table. "I would give you a private showing tonight, but I'm too tired," she giggled, lying back on the couch with her legs propped over his lap.

"How was Tuck?," he asked, running his hands over her thighs.

"He was good. But entertaining a two year old for almost eight hours is harder than it looks," she yawned.

"I bet it is," he agreed with a smile. "It really was nice of you to do that, you know."

"It was no big deal," Meredith shrugged. "I had a pretty interesting conversation with Adele too…"

Derek looked to her curiously. "Yeah? About what?"

"She used to watch me when I was little," she informed him. "Apparently, my mother left me with nurses when she was forced to bring me to work. But they were busy, you know, doing their jobs, which meant I spent a lot of time wandering the halls…"

"How old were you?"

"Two-ish," she said simply.

Derek cocked his head. "Two?"

"Yeah. Anyway, I was wandering around one day and she found me. And she watched me…all day," Meredith said slowly. "She was the only one who cared enough to look after me. I even went to her house, or she would take me places. And I just…"

"Hmm?," Derek asked quietly, trying to hide the sadness in his voice. It hurt him to think that even at two years old, she was alone in so many ways.

"After we moved to Boston, I spent all that time hating Richard. I resented him…resented him for breaking up my family. But not once did I even think about Adele. We were the ones that had to live with their mistakes. After the affair, we were the ones that had to help pick up the pieces," she said softly.

Derek reached his hand out to her and she accepted it into her own. "Yeah. I guess you were."

"I don't understand how my mother thought it was okay to leave me with the nurses—not that they were bad or anything, just that…I don't know," she said with a sigh.

"You feel like you weren't cared about?," Derek guessed.

Meredith shrugged. "I know my mom cared about me in her own way. But not…not the way a mother typically cares. So I just, I'm glad Adele was there, you know?"

"Yeah", Derek nodded in understanding. "I'm glad she was there too…two years old", he sighed as he ran his fingers through his hair.

Meredith noticed the change in his demeanor and smiled. "Maybe that's why I know the hospital so well…I've been there since the womb," she giggled.

"Guess so," he said with a slight chuckle. "And you know, maybe in a way, it taught you something."

"Yeah? What?," she asked quietly, playing with his fingers in her hand.

"It made you want to be better. It helped you to figure out what to do differently. And I think that maybe Adele is part of the reason why you're you…why you care so much—about everybody. And would give up surgeries to watch a two year old little boy for your boss," he said with a soft assuredness, taking her hand and kissing it.

"Love you," Meredith whispered, pulling herself into a sitting position before depositing herself on his lap.

Derek smiled and rubbed her arms with his hands. "I love you too."

"I finished my vows," she said with a smile.

"I knew you would," he whispered, leaning in to kiss her cheek.

"So I was thinking...," Meredith began softly. She ran her fingers through his hair and played with the curls on the back of his neck. "Maybe we should save them for just the two of us."

Derek cocked his head slightly and gave her a confused look. "What do you mean?," he asked.

"The vows are kind of personal things. And I think it'd be kind of nice to say them to each other...without everybody there. I mean, we can say the traditional vows at the wedding, but..."

"Okay," Derek replied softly, effectively cutting off her ramblings.

Meredith smiled contentedly. "Yeah?"

"Yeah," he nodded. "I think that's more...us."

"I think so too," she agreed. Derek peered into her eyes and smiled. She was just as beautiful as the day they met. That day seemed so long ago, and there were days when he wished he could go back. He would have done things so differently. But none of that mattered. Because here they were, five days away from their wedding, and couldn't be happier.

"Ready to get married?," he asked softly.

Meredith rested her forehead against his and smiled. "I can't wait."

The next chapter is the wedding. Finally. :D

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