145. A Weekend Apart

Disclaimer: I don't own it. But I did sneak in a line from the show toward the end of the chapter, because I couldn't help myself. ;)

Thank you a thousand times for your patience. It means everything!

With the upcoming boards two months away, Meredith knew she needed to spend every available minute studying. For any other fifth year resident, making time for index cards and textbooks was easy; but as the only resident with a ten month old baby, parceling out time was a challenge. And with Derek leaving for the weekend to speak at a conference in Portland, she knew the chances of her fitting in some much needed study time were slim to none.

"I wish you were old enough to read, so you could quiz me on this stuff," Meredith told Lilly, who sat in her high chair. She spooned some baby cereal into Lilly's mouth, but she spit it back out, turning her head in disinterest. "Not hungry? You love your cereal."

"Ma," Lilly pouted, holding her arms out.

Meredith set the green bowl and spoon on the counter next to her file of case studies, then picked her up, and Lilly clung immediately to her shirt. "Do you feel sick?" she asked, feeling the baby's forehead.

"Hey. I just got off the phone with Mark. He'll be here in ten minutes to pick me up," Derek said as he entered the kitchen, frowning when he saw Lilly. "She okay?"

"She feels a little warm. She's probably just teething," Meredith shrugged, so he wouldn't worry right before he had to leave.

"I'll get the thermometer. I think it's in her bin in the living room," Derek said.

Meredith smiled at him. "Thank you," she replied, glancing down at Lilly. "I'm sorry you don't feel good, Lillybug."

"Mama," Lilly mumbled, her face buried in Meredith's chest.

"I know," Meredith soothed her. "How about I feed you?"

"Got it," Derek said as he reentered the kitchen with the thermometer. He walked over to the two of them and turned it on, then gently eased the tip into Lilly's ear. Lilly fussed at the interruption, but held still long enough for the thermometer to get a reading. When it beeped, Derek took it out and read the result screen. "99.4. Enough to feel crummy, but not too bad. A little acetaminophen will knock it right out."

"I hope so. I'll let her nurse, then I'll give her some. What do I do? Should I call out of work?" she asked, heading toward the living room, so she could nurse Lilly on the couch.

"What do you have scheduled for today?"

Meredith handed Lilly to Derek after they sat down, and began unbuttoning her shirt. "I have a solo shunt placement scheduled at one. It's non-emergent, so I could always bump it, but it's Friday. I don't want to make the guy wait until Monday," she said.

"Lexie won't mind if she has a fever. She'll still watch her if you wanted to go in," Derek encouraged, handing Lilly back to Meredith once she was settled.

"I know. It's just that Lilly prefers us when she doesn't feel good," Meredith said. She held Lilly to her breast, and Lilly latched on with ease, letting her eyelids slip closed. "There you go, peanut," she cooed. "Lex may have boobs, but hers can't do what mine can."

Derek smiled as he took the blanket from the back of the couch. "Those things are magic," he said, draping it over Meredith and Lilly. "Want me to give Weller a call? If he has time, I'm sure he'd do it for you."

"Crap. I don't know," Meredith sighed.

"I'm sorry. If it wasn't too late to cancel, I would," Derek said, pressing a kiss to her temple.

Meredith patted his thigh and shook her head. "No, I want you to go. You and Mark worked hard on the presentation. Lilly and I can rough it without you for two days," she said in support.

"Hmm, okay. As long as you promise not to start walking while I'm gone," Derek told Lilly, who peacefully nursed with her tiny hand resting on top of Meredith's breast.

"I'll make sure she doesn't," Meredith promised, pulling her phone from her pocket when she felt it vibrating. "Lexie," she said before answering. "Hello?"

Derek watched Meredith's face dissolve into a frown as Lexie spoke, although he couldn't make out what she said. Meredith smoothed her fingers through Lilly's hair, finally able to get in a few words when there was a pause in Lexie's rambling, something they both inherited in their shared DNA.

"Lex, it's fine. Don't worry about it. Trust me, I don't expect you to babysit with a stomach bug," Meredith said in sympathy. "Lilly's feeling under the weather, too. Besides, now I have an excuse to take off from work to study," Meredith said. "Yes, I'm sure. Just take it easy... Okay, I will. Hope you feel better. Bye."

"Sick, too, huh?" Derek said after Meredith ended the call.

"Yeah. I think she apologized thirty times in two minutes," Meredith couldn't help but laugh. "Do you have Weller's number? I feel bad passing off a solo surgery, but if Lilly's sick, I can't leave her."

Derek kissed her cheek, then got up from the couch. "I'll call him for you. I wanted to let Charlie out before I left, anyway," he offered.

"Thanks. And tell him I said thank you," Meredith said. She curled her legs up onto the couch and smiled down at Lilly, who peeked her eyes open. "Looks like we get to have Mommy-Lilly time today. How's that sound?" she asked, brushing her finger over Lilly's cheek.

Lilly yawned into Meredith's breast and continued to nurse, content to be in her mom's arms. Her blue eyes flashed open again when she heard the doorbell ring seconds later, so rather than disturb her by standing up, Meredith solved it the easy way.

"Come in!" she called out, draping the edge of the blanket over her shoulder to shield herself.

The front door opened in the foyer, followed by Mark's footsteps as he walked into the living room. "Hey," he greeted, stopping when he saw that Meredith was nursing. "Oh. This is awkward. Want me to wait over there?"

"You've walked in on me nursing, like, three times now. It doesn't faze me anymore. Besides, my boob is covered, don't worry. You can sit," she assured him. "Derek's ready. He's just calling Weller to see if he can cover for me today."

"Everything okay?" Mark asked, dropping down onto the adjacent couch.

"Yeah. Lilly's got a fever, so I want to stay home with her," Meredith explained, rubbing small circles over Lilly's back with her hand. "So, all ready for your big presentation on neurovascular rewiring and cranial reconstruction?"

"Yeah. We're gonna be the VIP dream team at this thing. I just wish they weren't making us share a suite at the hotel. Kinda puts the kibosh on having phone sex with Bridg," Mark joked.

Meredith rolled her eyes. "If it makes you feel any better, your presence blocks phone sex between Derek and me, too," she said. "But Lilly and I are going to FaceTime him, so you're welcome to join in on that."

"Looking forward to it."

Charlie trotted into the living room with a new bone, Derek following close behind. "Hey. Weller said he'd push some stuff around to fit in the shunt placement. Said he's happy to do it, so don't feel bad."

Meredith let out a sigh of relief, dropping her head on the back of the couch. "Good. That's good. Thank you for calling," she said as she felt Lilly unlatch. "All finished, peanut?"

"I'll take her. I need as much Lilly time as I can get in the next five minutes," Derek said, taking Lilly from Meredith so she could re-button her shirt.

Lilly snuggled into his chest and smiled slightly, making Derek feel even more guilty about the prospect of being away from her for two days. "Dada," she yawned, closing her eyes once again as she settled.

"Dada's gonna miss you so much," Derek said, patting her back lightly as he burped her.

Mark laughed at the exchange. "You'll be three hours away for two days. You're not jetting off for a year-long Arctic expedition," he said.

"Just you wait. Even being away from your kid for an eight hour shift is hard," Derek refuted.

"It's true. And being on call is even worse," Meredith said, smoothing out the front of her shirt. "My boob is no longer in plain view, Mark. You can let go of the pillow shield."

"Thank you." Mark dropped the pillow he'd been holding onto the couch, then glanced at his watch. "Almost ready to go? I want to beat traffic getting down there."

"Yeah," Derek said as stood up. He kissed the top of Lilly's head, breathing in her curls that smelled like her shampoo. "How about we leave Uncle Mark here, so you can come to Portland with me instead? Wouldn't that be fun?"

"Don't let Mark drive too fast," Meredith said.

"If anyone drives too fast, it's your husband," Mark replied, tossing a stuffed turtle back in forth in his hands. "I swear, he was a race car driver in a past life."

Meredith tried to come up with a valid argument, but knew it was futile, mostly because Mark was right. "Well then, if you take turns driving, don't let Derek drive too fast," she said.

She smoothed her hands over the shoulders of Derek's shirt, then leaned in to kiss him. It was the kind of kiss they normally wouldn't have in front of anyone, let alone Mark, but because it was the last kiss they would have for the next three days, Meredith wanted to make it count. Her fingers snaked through his hair until they landed at the curls on the nape of his neck, and she could feel his skin prickle with goosebumps at her touch. Mindful that Lilly was still sandwiched between them, they made themselves pull back after a few moments, regaining composure as best they could.

"I'm surprised you didn't tear each other's clothes off just now. Want me to watch Lilly while you guys bang it out real quick?" Mark cut in.

Meredith used her thumb to wipe off the pink tinted lip balm she'd gotten on Derek's face, and she shook her head. "No, we're good. We banged it out last night. Twice," she disclosed, choosing to roll with Mark's commentary than let herself be embarrassed by it. "Okay, love you. Have fun. You'll do great."

"I love you, too. I'll call when we get there," Derek said. He hugged Lilly one last time and planted a kiss on her forehead before regretfully handing her back to Meredith. "I love you, Princess. Have a fun weekend with Mommy, okay?"

"Oh, we have big things planned. Studying, napping, laundry, maybe some trashy TV. You're missing out," she teased.

"Sounds like it," Derek chuckled, putting his hand on her back as they walked into the foyer. He shrugged on his coat and pulled up the handle on his travel suitcase, wishing more than anything he could just unpack the thing and spend the weekend with his two favorite people. "All set. Bye bye, Lilly," he said, blowing her a kiss.

Despite feeling crummy from her fever, Lilly still perked up enough to blow Derek a kiss back and smile at him. "Ba, Dada," she said in her tiny voice.

"I love you, baby," he waved.

"Hope you feel better, Lilly. See you, Grey," Mark said as he pushed the front door open.

"Bye," Meredith returned, tugging on Derek's coat sleeve just as he was about to follow Mark out the door. She pressed a lingering kiss to his lips and smiled. "That was for good luck."

"Hmm, maybe we should've taken Mark up on his offer for a quickie..."

...

Lilly lay snoozing on Meredith's chest, finally able to get some rest after the acetaminophen kicked in and started to break her fever. And Meredith took advantage of the quiet time by studying the piles of case scenarios Derek had given her. There were hundreds of them written on large index cards, the same cards Derek had used to prep for his boards way back when. Meredith marveled at the meticulous detail of each one, complete with color coding, divided into brain lobes, spine levels, nerves, vasculatures, and everything in between.

Once she finished reviewing a case study on an occipital lobe tumor, Meredith placed it at the back of the pile and smiled. "I've probably mentioned this to you before, but your Daddy is my hero, Lilly," she said in a hushed tone.

Meredith's phone buzzed on her nightstand as a call came through, and she quickly answered it when she saw that it was Derek. "Hey," she whispered.

"Hey. We just got here, so I wanted to call. How are you guys doing?" Derek asked.

"We're good. Lilly's been sleeping practically since you left, so I've just been studying. Your study cards are amazing, by the way. You could mass produce these things and make us millionaires," Meredith said, trailing her fingers over Lilly's back.

"Well, good. I'm glad they're helpful. Not that you need the help. You spent your childhood in OR galleries with surgical textbooks in your lap. You've technically been prepping for your boards since you learned how to read," he said truthfully.

"These cards are better than any textbook. Seriously, in addition to 'welcome home' sex, you're getting 'thank you for the study cards' sex, too," she said.

Derek smirked on the other line. "Really?"

"Really," Meredith echoed. "So, did you guys check in yet?"

"Yeah. The receptionist almost gave us the key to the honeymoon suite by accident, because Mark wrote down the wrong room number. Thankfully, we got it fixed, so we don't have to share a bed for the next two nights," Derek said, the relief evident in his voice.

"Hey, I'm an excellent spooner. Your loss," Mark chimed in from across the room.

"Really bad images in my head right now," Meredith laughed.

"Mine, too. Okay, I'll let you get back to studying. Just wanted to check in. Give Lilly a kiss for me."

Meredith leaned down and kissed the top of Lilly's head lightly. "From Daddy to me to you, peanut."

"Thank you," Derek smiled. "Love you guys. I'll give you a call later on."

"Love you, too. Bye," Meredith said, dropping her phone onto the bed next to her after she hung up. As she went to take the next index card off the deck, her phone buzzed again. She read the display, bracing herself before she even answered. "Nurses' station," she sighed. "Hello?"

"Hi, Dr. Grey. This is Sam, one of the nurses on four. I know you called out today, but Dr. Halloran just did a crash C-section on a thirty-four weeker. The baby's stats kept dropping, and during delivery, she stroked out. The IR team threaded a catheter and busted the clot with tPA. Now there's evidence of a clot in her spine, too. IR located it, but they can't get it with the cath," Sam explained.

Meredith felt her heart rate pick up before she even asked the question. "You want me to evacuate the clot?"

"Dr. Shepherd and Dr. Nelson are at the conference. Weller's been in back to back surgeries the whole day. Halloran suggested you," Sam said.

Meredith glanced down at Lilly sleeping on her chest, and any lingering trepidation she had washed away. She would want a surgeon with her ability to help Lilly if the situation were reversed, and she knew she had an obligation to do everything in her power to try.

"I'll do it. Just keep her stable. I'll be there as soon as I can," Meredith said, ending the call and dialing Derek back. She tucked her phone between her ear and her shoulder as she gently laid Lilly down in the center of the bed, then swung her legs over the side so she could start getting ready.

"Hey. Everything okay?" Derek asked as soon as he picked up.

"That depends," Meredith said, shimmying out of her pajama pants in exchange for her jeans. "How fast can you walk me through a spinal clot evacuation on a preemie?"

...

Meredith stood at the OR board as she tried to settle Lilly, who was still in her cat pajamas, displeased after being woken up from her nap. And Meredith was about five seconds away from joining her daughter in her crying fit when she saw that all of her friends were in surgery, leaving her stranded for a temporary babysitter.

Onlookers glanced in her direction when they heard Lilly crying, and Meredith stared back, daring them to make a comment and suffer her wrath. She wracked her brain for options, but fell short at every turn. The hospital daycare was surely booked by now. Even if it weren't, Lilly had a fever, which made her persona non grata. And she wasn't registered anyway, so if by some slim chance there was a spot, by the time Meredith filled out the mountain of paperwork, there would be no surgery to get to, because the preemie that needed her couldn't wait that long.

"Crap. Crap. Crap. What do we do, Lilly?" Meredith said, bouncing nervously on her heels.

"What are you doing?" came Bailey's voice beside her.

"I have an emergency surgery on a preemie, and Derek is out of town. Lilly's got a fever, so daycare is out. And everyone is scrubbed in somewhere," Meredith said, willing herself not to breakdown in front of her former resident. But despite her best efforts, she broke.

"Grey, are you crying?" Bailey asked.

"No," Meredith lied, the shake of her head morphing into a nod. "Yes. Sorry. I just don't know what to do. The baby could stroke out any minute, and I need to get to the OR. But I've just been standing here like an idiot while people give me dirty looks because Lilly is screaming, and I can't get her to calm down."

"Oh, sweetie. Give her to me," Bailey said in sympathy, taking the diaper bag off Meredith's shoulder before she reached for Lilly.

"What?"

Bailey managed to gently pull Lilly's grip from Meredith's shirt, then held her close to her chest. "Hey, pretty girl. That's it. There we go," she cooed.

"You really don't have to. I know you're busy, and I—" Meredith said before Bailey interrupted what was sure to be another ramble.

"I just spent the last six hours teaching in the skills lab. I need a stress reliever. And since I can't drink on the job, this baby's the next best thing. Smarter than those idiot interns, too. Isn't that right?" Bailey smiled, patting Lilly diapered bottom gently with her hand.

"Are you sure?" Meredith asked.

"Yes, I'm sure. Now, go. Call me when you're done, and I'll come find you," Bailey said.

"Mama!" Lilly cried, holding out her arms toward Meredith.

Meredith's eyes burned with guilt, her heart breaking in two at how upset Lilly was. The same thing had happened to her countless times as a child, and she felt like a horrible mother for repeating history. She squeezed Lilly's hand and kissed her rosy cheek, wet with tears.

"I'll be back as soon as I can, okay? You just have fun with Bailey for a little while," Meredith said softly, smiling as best she could as she wiped the tears off Lilly's face with her thumb.

Lilly quieted slightly at her mom's calm voice and touch, relaxing in Bailey's arm, and Meredith sighed in relief. "That's my girl. Mommy loves you, Lilly," she said. "Thank you, Dr. Bailey."

Before she could talk herself out of it, Meredith turned around and forced her feet to walk toward the OR where the baby was already being prepped. As she made her way down the hall, she recited the steps to the surgery that Derek had spent a half hour coaching her through, not because she was scared she would mess up, but to distract her mind from the image of her daughter in tears. When she reached the door to the scrub room, her phone signaled a text from Derek and she pulled it from her pocket.

Can't wait to hear all about your victory tonight. Go kick some neuro ass.

Meredith smiled as she sent back a quick thank you. Even three hours away, it still felt like he was standing beside her, cheering her on like he had been since day one. She made a mental note to give him sex for that, too, when he came home.

...

Long, tedious hours passed in the OR, hours spent working around the tiniest spine Meredith had ever seen in her five years as a surgeon. But she did it. And the adrenaline rush that came over her when she walked out of the OR made trekking out to the hospital with her sick baby on a day off totally worth it. She considered calling Derek, but decided against it because she wanted to see the look on his face rather than just picture it over the phone.

After speaking with the newborn's family, and subsequently getting hugged by every grateful family member, Meredith quickly got changed in the resident lounge, anxious to see her daughter. Bailey left her a message saying she and Lilly were in the attending lounge, and even before Meredith turned the handle, she braced herself for the potential screaming and crying on the other side.

But when she opened the door, the only thing she witnessed was a quiet calm. Lilly sat on Bailey's lap, listening intensely as Bailey read her Green Eggs and Ham.

"I do not like them with a mouse. I do not like them here or there. I do not like them anywhere! I do not like green eggs and ham! I do not like them, Sam-I-am," Bailey recited with enthusiasm.

Lilly noticed Meredith before Bailey did, and her eyes lit up when she saw her. "Mama!" she said in delight.

"Hi, baby girl. You look like you're feeling better," Meredith said, sitting next to them on the couch.

"Her fever broke about an hour ago. She took a nap for a while, and when she woke up, we watched an appy from the gallery while she ate, then she had a diaper change. Then we came back here and read a few dozen books," Bailey said.

"Nana, Mama," Lilly added, showing Meredith the piece of frozen banana in her hand.

"Ooh, you have a banana, too? Is it yummy?" Meredith asked.

Lilly smiled as she went back to sucking on it. "Mmm," she hummed happily.

"Thank you for watching her. The surgery took longer than I expected. I feel bad making you wait around," Meredith said.

Bailey shook her head. "Hush. She was no problem. It's been ages since I've spent time with a baby that I wasn't operating on, and yours happens to be as close to perfect as they come."

"I know," Meredith bragged, her tone playful.

"So, how'd your surgery go?"

"Good. I got the clot out with no complications," Meredith said. "She'll have to spend some time in the NICU until she gains more weight, but I don't think she'll have any lasting effects from the stroke."

"And you did it by yourself. You should be proud," Bailey said sincerely.

"I know Derek's in Portland, but I swear it's like he was whispering instructions in my ear the whole time. Sounds crazy, but it's actually helpful," Meredith said.

"Don't tell him that. His ego's already too big for his own good," Bailey joked as she combed her fingers through Lilly's curls, the small gesture making Meredith smile. "Really though, Grey, to have a solo, successful spinal clot evacuation on your record, and on a preemie no less? Your board proctors could pass you on that alone."

"I wish."

"Not easy trying to study with a little one at home," Bailey empathized.

"Nope. It's not. If it weren't for Derek, I really don't know what I'd do. He's been so great about making sure I have time, even if it's just running errands with Lilly on the weekends, so I have a few hours to study," Meredith said, rolling her eyes at herself. "He's been gone for less than twelve hours, and I miss him. Does that make me a sappy, crazy wife?"

"Hey, I'd miss the hair, too," Bailey admitted.

"I do miss the hair," Meredith sighed. "Okay, ready to go home, Lilly, so we can chat with Dada?"

"Dada!" Lilly cheered.

Meredith reached for her daughter, who was covered in banana. "How about a bath first, then Dada?"

Lilly licked some of the mushy, yellow fruit off her hands and laughed when her fingers stuck together. "Dada!" she repeated.

Meredith smiled at Bailey. "I don't know what kind of magic you worked in these last few hours to make the fever disappear, and replace it with my happy, giddy baby again, but I owe you one."

...

Lilly sat snuggled in Meredith's lap, freshly bathed and wearing her Minnie Mouse pajamas. She watched curiously as Meredith pressed buttons on the screen sitting in front of them, her lips forming a tiny 'o' shape when Derek's face appeared.

"Dada!" she gasped.

"Hey, Lillybug!" Derek said from the iPad screen.

Lilly looked up at Meredith and smiled. "Dada!" she told her, wiggling her bottom in excitement.

"Yeah, I see him," Meredith laughed. "In case you can't tell, she's very pumped about all this. She talked about Dada the whole way home, and in the tub, and during dinner."

"Daddy misses you, Lilly. A swanky Portland hotel room is no fun if you guys aren't here with me," he said.

"Sorry I make terrible company," Mark called out from his own bed next to Derek's.

Derek laughed. "That's not what I meant," he said, turning the iPad toward Mark. "Here, say hi."

Mark waved at Meredith and Lilly on the screen, grinning when Lilly waved back at him. "Hey, beautiful! Looks like you're feeling better."

"Oh, she is. Bailey watched her during my surgery, and when I picked her up, she was totally fine," Meredith said.

"Good. I've been worried about her all day," Derek said in relief. "So, how'd the surgery go? I want to know every detail, from start to finish."

Meredith shifted more comfortably in bed, settling in to tell him all about it. "Okay, so before I even opened her up, I looked at the CT scans. And Derek, this clot was huge. It would've been big in an adult, but her spine was tiny. Her vertebrae were smaller than my fingertip. Anyway, I couldn't even visualize the margins until I made the cut. After I got the retractor in there, I saw that the clot was compressing T-9 through L-2..." Meredith began.

Derek listened in awe as she told the whole story, living out the same adrenaline rush vicariously through her. He was genuinely proud both as her husband and her teacher, and seeing her eyes light up as she spoke made him fall even more in love with her. By the time she'd finished nearly an hour later, he wished more than ever that he was home, so they could celebrate the best way they knew how. But for now, being able to share in her excitement would have to do.

"Oh, the best part is, the surgery got recorded, and I stole the DVD, so we could watch it once you get home," she said as she trailed her fingers down Lilly's back, who had since fallen asleep on her chest.

"I could marry you again right now. You're so hot when you're nefarious," Derek grinned.

"Me being a nefarious, badass neuro god turns you on?" Meredith asked.

"If I were home right now, I'd be tearing your clothes off with my teeth."

Mark paused the game of Angry Birds he'd been playing on his phone, and glanced over at Derek. "Just a friendly reminder that I'm sitting a foot away from you, so if this is leading to dirty video chat sex, give me some warning, so I can leave."

"There will be no dirty video chat sex," Meredith answered from the screen. "Well, not tonight, anyway. Tomorrow after Derek tells me about the presentation, all bets are off. Oh, and just wait until Sunday night for the 'welcome home' sex you're going to have," Meredith hinted, raising her eyebrows at him.

Derek laughed. "I'm already counting down the minutes."