151. Boards Part 1

Disclaimer: I don't own TV shows. That would be cool, though.

This was it. Every surgery, every slice, every suture over the past five years came down to one weekend that would determine the future of every resident. And Derek was fairly certain he was more nervous than Meredith, but it had nothing to do with her capability of passing the boards; he knew with absolute certainty that she would pass. Rather, it was the fact that she would away from Lilly for a day and a half, two hours away by plane, that he knew worried her the most.

They stood outside in the ambulance bay waiting for the shuttle bus to arrive, and Meredith hadn't yet put Lilly down, soaking in every second spent with her daughter before she had to leave.

"I'll be home tomorrow night. You just have fun with Daddy, okay? And make sure he sends me a picture of you every hour," Meredith said, glancing over to Derek. "Seriously, every hour. I need to feel like I'm here with you, even though I won't be."

"Every hour," Derek promised.

"And we'll video chat around 7:00 tonight," Meredith reminded him.

Cristina overheard the last part of their conversation, and she turned around. "When you say video chat, you mean like a family thing, right? Not something porny that involves Meredith getting naked? Because I'm sharing a room with her, and I'd rather not witness that," she said.

"No, nothing porny. We would, except I need a good night sleep tonight," Meredith assured her.

Cristina breathed a sigh of relief. "Okay, good."

"And my flight is scheduled to get in at eight tomorrow night. If it gets delayed, Lexie offered to come pick me up in case Lilly's already asleep, but I'll let you know," Meredith said, handing Lilly a Cheerio. "Can I just bring you with me for good luck? I could tuck you into my carry on. No one would ever know," she teased.

"Then who would I hang out with?" Derek asked. "Trust me, you're better off without us there. You need to be in hiney-kicking surgeon mode."

Cristina patted Derek's back in agreement. "Good husband. See, Mer? Listen to him."

"I know, I know. You're right," Meredith sighed. She combed her fingers through Lilly's curls and breathed in the soft smell of her shampoo. "Are you going to have a fun day with Aunt Bridget? She'll be having girl time with you today."

"Bee!" Lilly cheered in delight.

"Yeah. Dada and Uncle Mark are painting Charlotte's bedroom today, so she wants to hang out with you," Meredith said.

Lilly's eyes lit up at the mention of her cousin, whom she'd been hearing about now for eight months. "Lolo!"

"Bus is pulling up. I need a good luck hug from my best girl," Cristina said, reaching for Lilly. Meredith passed her over, and Cristina kissed her cheek. "Have fun with your dad. And don't worry, I'll make sure your parents don't do the nasty over the phone."

"Cristina," Meredith scolded as she handed Lilly back.

"What? I can only imagine the sounds she hears at night coming from your bedroom. I'm just letting her know I've got it under control," Cristina upheld. She pulled up the handle on her suitcase and gave a small wave as she headed for the bus. "Save you a seat," she said. "See you, Shepherd. Bye bye, Lilly."

Alex, Izzie, and George each kissed Lilly's cheek as they passed by on their way to the bus, getting in some positive Lilly vibes of their own. And when it was just Meredith standing with Derek and Lilly, she inhaled and exhaled deeply, willing herself to keep her composure. "Okay. I can do this."

"You can do this," Derek smiled. He wrapped his arms around her, Lilly between them. "Don't worry about anything here. We'll be fine. And don't let your proctors intimidate you. Remember, they were in your shoes once, too. Just pretend it's me sitting across from you asking you the questions. Wife or not, you're the best neuro resident I've ever worked with in the span of my career, and I mean that. Relax, be confident, and show them just how great you are."

Meredith closed her eyes and let herself revel in his hug. "I love you."

"I love you, too."

"Lub," Lilly echoed.

"I love you, Lillybug. So, so much," Meredith said softly, pressing kiss after kiss to Lilly's chubby cheeks. When she was satisfied, she switched to Derek, and planted a long kiss on his lips, savoring the moment as long as she could, unconcerned about the bus full of residents likely watching.

After they eventually pulled away, Derek gave her a final kiss on her forehead and smiled. "The longer I kiss you, the harder it is to stop," he chuckled. "Go ahead; get on the bus. You'll be home before you know it."

Meredith squeezed Lilly's hand in hers, thankful that Lilly was her usual happy self, especially on a day like today. "I'll be home tomorrow. Love you both."

And with that, she made herself turn around, handing off her suitcase to the bus driver before boarding. Derek and Lilly waved her off until the bus drove out of the ambulance bay, and Derek was so caught up in pride for his wife that he didn't even hear Bailey walk up to him.

"Crazy, isn't it? How fast the time goes?" she asked.

"Yeah, it is. Five years ago, I didn't even know her. And now, she's... everything."

"I've seen a lot of residents over the years, but Grey is one I never worried about. She'll be just fine. I think they all will. Imagine that," Bailey said.

Derek patted her shoulder in agreement. "You did good," he said sincerely.

"Thank you."

"But off the record, Mer's the best one," Derek said, grinning when Bailey cocked her head at him. "Oh, come on. Lilly and I can keep a secret. Just admit it."

Bailey tried to maintain her stern face, but it dissolved when Lilly smiled at her. "Lilly, tell your daddy to be quiet."

...

Standing in an unpainted nursery felt like déjà vu for Derek, who had once stood in Lilly's own white-walled nursery before it was slathered in pretty, pink paint. He was happy to return the favor for his friend, who would have a daughter of his own next month.

Mark poured the pink paint into the tray, and Derek nodded in approval of the color. "Nice choice. Very cheerful."

"It's called Princess Peony," Mark said, reading it off the can. "I swear Bridget looked through a hundred swatches before she decided on it. I always thought pink was pink, but apparently, I was wrong."

"Meredith did the same thing. Neither of us thought she was the nesty type, then boom. She was agonizing over paint samples and alphabetizing the cereal cabinet. It was adorable. A little scary, but adorable," Derek said, the memories of Meredith being pregnant making him even more excited to start trying for Lilly's little sibling.

"Has she been on any board interviews yet? Hospitals must be groveling at her feet," Mark said as he dipped his paint roller into the tray.

"She's actually gotten offers without any interviews. She sent out a bunch of résumés for the hell of it, and they want to hire her based on her surgical credentials alone," Derek replied. "Johns Hopkins, Mayo, New York Pres, Mass Gen, Brigham. She even got an offer from CHOP for a pediatric neurosurgery position."

Mark looked at Derek in near disbelief. "And she turned them all down?"

"Yeah. I've been telling her since we got married and built the house that if the day comes where she wants to move, I'd be behind her a hundred percent. She wants to stay here, though."

"Makes sense. Your lives are in Seattle. Plus, she gets to work with you. How many other fellows can say they work with their husbands every day? No better way to celebrate a successful surgery than a quickie in the on call room," Mark said, watching Derek roll his eyes. "What, am I wrong? And you know Richard will pay her anything she wants. Hell, he'd build you two your own neuro wing for you guys to stay."

"I know. She really does want to stay here. She'll get the same opportunities here as she would at another hospital. Probably more, since I trust her to fly solo. We've worked well together since the beginning," Derek said as he began rolling paint onto the nursery wall.

"Well, it's simple then. You stay here."

"You'd be heartbroken if I left. Admit it," Derek teased.

"Heartbroken is a little strong, but yeah, I'd miss you. And Mer, and Lilly. You're my family. Besides, if you left, who would I pick to be Charlotte's godfather?" Mark asked.

Derek turned away from the wall he was painting, and smiled at his friend. "I'm her godfather?"

"Who else would I pick? I'm Lilly's. It's only right that you're Charlotte's," Mark said.

"Thank you," Derek said sincerely, patting Mark's shoulder. "That really means a lot."

"You're welcome," Mark nodded as he sidestepped a pack of butterfly stencils. "So you think I can handle a girl, right?"

"Oh, yeah. Girls are the best. You know, some days Mer and I just look at Lilly, and we can't believe she's ours. The second you see your daughter for the first time, you'll wonder how you could love someone so much," Derek said.

Lilly's laugh traveled all the way from downstairs where she was playing with Bridget, and Derek smiled. "Listen to that. Nothing in the world makes me happier than hearing that sound."

"You know, I'm glad you guys had Lilly first. Granted, she's given me unrealistic expectations, because she's a beautiful baby genius with perfect hair, but still, I learned a lot. Baby boot camp paid off," Mark said, taking a sip from his water bottle.

"Well, good. And yours will be a beautiful baby genius, too. She has surgeon DNA," Derek pointed out. "As an added bonus, if she hangs out with Lilly, she'll be even smarter. Not to mention, Lilly needs big sister practice."

Mark turned away from the wall, paint roller in hand. "Is Grey pregnant?"

"No, no. We just want to get Lilly used to the idea before a little brother or sister comes along. There's only so much she can learn from a doll. If she spends enough time with Charlotte, she'll get the basics of what a new baby will be like. Changing diapers, feedings, all of that," Derek explained.

"Big sister boot camp."

"Exactly." Derek felt his phone buzz, and he set his roller in the paint tray before pulling it from his pocket. "Text from Meredith," he said. "About to take off. Will call you after I check in. Give Lilly a kiss for me. Don't forget to send pictures. Love you."

"You already miss her, don't you?" Mark asked.

Derek laughed in admittance, sending back a quick reply to Meredith. "Of course I miss her. But I guess it's good that I'm the one who notices she's not here instead of Lilly. At least, she hasn't yet. Tonight when she's ready to be nursed, and Mer isn't around, I'm bracing myself for the fallout."

"I think you'll miss her boobs more than Lilly will," Mark said, only half joking.

Derek grinned, resuming his painting where he'd left off. "Oh, don't worry. I got my quality time with them last night."

...

The plane touched down in San Francisco shortly after two o'clock in the afternoon, followed by a quick shuttle ride to the hotel where the board exam would take place the next morning. After finishing the hustle and bustle of registration down in the lobby, Meredith took the elevator upstairs to her room, Cristina in tow.

As soon as they entered the hotel room, Meredith dropped down onto the bed, and took her phone from her bag. Sure enough, Derek had sent three pictures of Lilly, one per hour, and the minute Meredith saw them, her spirits improved exponentially.

"Look at this face," she said, turning her phone toward Cristina.

Cristina smiled, her soft side always peeking through when she saw Lilly. "See, she's totally fine. I give Derek a lot of crap, but he's a great dad. You just need to focus on kicking neuro board ass. Go call and check in with him, then we can hit the books," she said.

"We just studied for two hours on the plane. I can't study anymore. I need a break, at least for a little while," Meredith yawned as she kicked off her shoes.

"You promised me and your daughter no phone sex."

Meredith rolled her eyes. "I meant a nap or shopping or something. I want to get Lilly souvenirs," she said, walking toward the sliding glass door that led to a small balcony. "I'm going to call Derek. See if Iz wants to go exploring for a while. May as well make the most of San Francisco while we're here, right?"

Cristina forced herself off the comfortable bed and grabbed the key card off the nightstand. "Have I mentioned that your peppy mommy side still freaks me out?"

"Yes, frequently," Meredith assured her. She stepped out onto the balcony, the warm breeze and sunshine making it seem like vacation other than a work trip that would make or break her entire career. She sat on the lounge chair, then tapped Derek's name on her contact list. It only rang twice on the other end before he answered.

"Hey, how are you doing?" Derek asked.

Meredith smiled when she heard his voice. Hundreds of miles away, and he could still ease her mind with a simple sentence. "I'm good. We just registered, and got to our room, so I wanted to call. How's Lilly?"

"She's good. Bridget painted her toes while Mark and I painted the nursery. They're light purple; she loves them. I'll send you a picture. Now she's just dancing around the living room entertaining us while we wait to put the second coat on," Derek said, Lilly's favorite sing-a-long CD audible in the background.

Meredith breathed a sigh of relief. "Okay, good. So she hasn't been upset or anything?"

"No, not at all. She's happy as a clam, I promise," Derek said. "Want to say hi?"

"Is that a serious question?"

Derek chuckled, putting the phone on speaker. "Okay, one second," he said. "Lilly, Mommy wants to talk to you."

Lilly toddled over to Derek as fast as she could, and he scooped her onto his lap. "Mama?" she said into the phone.

"Hi, baby girl!" Meredith said, her daughter's voice putting even more of a smile on her face.

"Mama!" Lilly cheered in delight.

"I miss you. Are you having fun with Daddy?" she asked.

"Toes," Lilly said, wiggling them on display as though Meredith could see them.

"Yeah, I heard Aunt Bee painted your toes purple. Do they look pretty?"

"A pitty," Lilly confirmed.

Meredith giggled as she imagined Lilly showing off her purple toes to everyone in the room. "I'm sure they are. Aunt Bridget is very talented."

"Mama bain?" Lilly asked, her code for either of her parents being at work.

"Yeah, Mama's taking her brain test tomorrow," Meredith said. "Then I'll be on the first flight home with a suitcase full of presents for you."

"Dada Cha?"

The question warmed Meredith's heart, and she smiled at her daughter's concern. "Sure, I'll get presents for Dada and Charlie, too."

"Lub, Ma," Lilly said, taking Derek's phone and hugging it close to her.

"I love you too, Lillybug. I love you so much," Meredith said, comforted by the fact that even at her young age, Lilly trusted that her mom would come home.

"Okay, go have fun," Derek encouraged. "You can study later on. I'll quiz you when we video chat later."

"Okay, I will."

"Promise?"

Meredith smiled at how well he knew her. "Yes, I promise."

"Good. I love you."

"Love you, too. Give Lilly another kiss for me. I'll talk to you later," Meredith said before ending the call. She let herself soak in a few more moments of sunshine, then walked back into the hotel room, where Cristina and Izzie were waiting for her.

"Hey. McDreamy still holding down the fort?" Cristina asked, rummaging in the mini fridge.

"Yeah, they're good. Lilly got a pedicure, and now she's dancing around to her Mickey Mouse CD. It's a charmed life back in Seattle," Meredith relayed.

"See? She's just fine, just like she was when you left. Now let's go, so I can buy her stuff," Izzie said, snagging a chocolate from the box Cristina found.

"You don't need to do that."

"Shut up; yes I do. She's my niece. It's my job. And I already called dibs on being the godmother to the next one you pop out, so get used to it," Izzie countered.

"Does Lexie know that?" Cristina asked.

"Oh, yeah. She just told me I need to have a third. Unless you two want to step up to the plate. You both have uteruses, too," Meredith reminded them.

Cristina hit the button for the elevator. "Never."

"Alex and I do, but not yet. That's why we need you. And on the plus side, if I pass the boards and get the OB fellowship with Halloran, I could deliver my own godchild," Izzie said, as though that was an incentive.

"You'd really get that up close and personal with my vagina?" Meredith asked in disbelief.

"I've had many sleepless nights at the old house trying to drown out the noise of the headboard banging against the wall. Trust me, I've felt up close and personal since our intern year," Izzie said.

Meredith shook her head, trying to conceal the blush she felt burning her cheeks. "I'll think about it."

...

Despite her usual indifference to leisure shopping, Meredith found the afternoon's retail therapy oddly calming. She was able to shake off some of the jitters about her pending boards, and stocked up on gifts for Lilly in the process. And now, she sat on her bed in the hotel room, iPad in hand as she dialed Derek for their scheduled video chat.

When Lilly's face appeared on the screen, Meredith felt the stress melt away even more. "Hi, sweetpea!" she greeted her.

"Mama!" Lilly said, her tiny bottom wiggling in excitement as she sat cuddled in Derek's lap.

"Hey, you. I like your pajamas. Did Aunt Bee buy those for you?" Meredith asked.

Lilly pointed to the squirrel on her pajama top and smiled. "Skirl, Ma."

"I see him. He looks just like Dr. Squirrel," Meredith said.

"Bridget gave them to her today. She found them at the store when she was shopping for Charlotte, and had to buy them. She knows how passionate Lilly is about squirrels," Derek teased. "How about you? You didn't spend all afternoon cooped up with a pile of flash cards, right?"

"No, I kept my promise," Meredith laughed. "Iz, Cristina and I did a little sightseeing, and we all bought Lilly stuff. I got her a tee shirt with the Golden Gate Bridge on it, and one with a cable car on it. Izzie bought her a Full House tee shirt with the "Wake Up, San Francisco" logo on it. I asked her not to, but she insisted. Apparently, she's a closeted Full House junkie."

"Oh, jeez," Derek chuckled. "Well, if anyone can pull it off, it's Lilly."

Meredith smiled at her daughter, who leaned her head against Derek's chest with her thumb in her mouth. "It's so weird not being there to tuck her in."

"You're away from her overnight whenever you're on call. Just think of it like that," Derek tried to reassure her.

"Yeah, except when I'm on call, I can be home in twenty minutes if I have to. Now, I'm two states and a plane ride away," Meredith sighed.

"Check the left hand corner of your suitcase, under your jeans," Derek said.

Meredith narrowed her eyes in curiosity. "Why?"

"Just do it," Derek grinned.

"Fine." Meredith swung her legs over the side of the bed and walked toward her suitcase on the floor. After flipping it open, she pulled out the pair of jeans she'd packed for the flight home, and underneath, she saw Dr. Squirrel, decked out in his scrubs.

She scooped it into her arm, then went back over to the bed and picked up her iPad. "You packed Dr. Squirrel," she said, breathing in the stuffed animal. "And he smells like Lilly."

"Yeah, I made sure she fell asleep with him after her bath every night, so he would smell like her shampoo," Derek explained. "Thought that might help you feel better."

Meredith hugged the squirrel tightly and smiled. "I'm really glad Cristina is at the hotel bar right now, or she'd mock me endlessly for clutching a stuffed squirrel."

"There's little more to it. Check his scrub pocket," Derek prompted.

Meredith peeked in the squirrel's pocket, finding a blue drawstring pouch inside. "What? What is this?" she asked.

"Open it."

She loosened the strings to open the pouch, and when she emptied it into her palm, she gasped slightly at what she saw. "You got me a locket," she whispered.

"Do you like it?"

Meredith ran her fingers over the thin, rose gold chain that had a small oval-shaped locket attached. When she opened the clasp, she found a picture of Lilly on the right side, with her name engraved on the other. "I love it."

"You mentioned getting one after Lilly was born. I figured this was something small and simple that you might like. Now you have two good luck charms for tomorrow—not that you need luck," Derek said.

"It's perfect. Thank you. And thank you, Lillybug," Meredith said softly, fastening it around her neck.

Lilly blew an exuberant kiss toward the iPad. "Lub!"

"I love you, peanut," Meredith echoed. She leaned against the pillows and smiled at her husband. "How do you do that?"

"Do what?"

"Always manage to make everything better, even when you're eight hundred miles away," Meredith said, Dr. Squirrel resting on her lap the same way Lilly was resting on Derek's.

"I've had lots of practice over the years," he joked. "I just love seeing you happy. I know you've been stressed about the boards, and leaving Lilly, so I wanted to do something special for you, that's all."

Meredith held the locket between her fingers, the metal warming at her touch. "Well, it worked. Thank you."

"And just think, this time tomorrow night, you'll be back home, and we'll be opening a bottle of champagne to toast you becoming the newest attending neurosurgeon at Seattle Grace," Derek said.

"Uh huh. And how do you know this?" Meredith asked.

Derek held up a copied, miniature version of one of the CTs they'd been studying with for months, and Meredith recognized it instantly. "This is how I know."

"Katie Bryce's post op brain scan."

"Yeah. That was day one."

"I remember," Meredith nodded. "Sixteen year old girl who competed in beauty pageants."

Derek smiled at her the same way her had when they scrubbed out of that surgery five years ago. "And we saved her life anyway."