158. Heartbeats & Teacups

Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's. I just wish I did.

Since I'm not sure if I'll have another chapter posted on or before November 1st, this one is dedicated to EllenP4life. She's been one of the biggest fans of this fic since the beginning, and I'm so grateful for her support. Happy early birthday, girl! This one's for you! :)

Meredith tossed and turned, and tossed some more. The alarm wasn't due to go off for another hour, but after waking up for the second time to pee, sleep alluded her, her mind too busy thinking about the ultrasound she had later on that morning. While the rational part of her brain knew Jellybean was okay, a fact that had been confirmed multiple times with the doppler now, the mommy part of her brain was always worried that the other shoe would drop at any second.

Rather than lie in bed staring at the clock until the alarm eventually blared, Meredith quietly swung her legs over the side of the bed, so she wouldn't wake Charlie or Derek, who was picking his mom up at the airport in a couple hours. Meredith tiptoed out of the room and down the hall, peeking in on Lilly, who was also still sleeping soundly in her crib.

With an hour to kill and nothing to do, Meredith decided to go down to the kitchen and make herself useful. She'd been craving brownies for a week, and since she had the uninterrupted window of time now, she took advantage of it.

"Looks like it's just you and me, Jellybean," she told the small swell popping out under her camisole top. "Mommy isn't very good at the whole baking thing, but we'll give it a try," she said, taking the box of brownie mix from the pantry.

After gathering the ingredients, she went to baking. Adding the brownie mix, water, oil, and eggs to the bowl, stirring it together, and pouring the batter into the pan. It always looked fancier when Derek or Izzie did it, but for something out of the box, made by someone who rarely baked, she was satisfied with her work.

"Well, that took ten minutes. Now what?" she sighed, rubbing a hand over the barely-there bump.

When she remembered the clean clothes Derek had put in the dryer last night, she headed for the laundry room. It wasn't exciting, but it was something to pass the time while she waited for her brownie breakfast in the oven. As she was folding one of Derek's shirts, Meredith heard footsteps padding into the kitchen.

She smiled when she saw Derek in his pajamas, his morning hair standing in every direction. "Hey. What're you doing up?"

"I smelled something. Brownies?" he guessed.

"Yeah. I couldn't sleep, and I've been craving them anyway, so why not?" Meredith shrugged, setting the shirt on top of the growing pile.

Derek wrapped his arms around her from behind and nuzzled his nose in her neck. "It's 6:30 in the morning."

"Up until last month, I was still a resident. My brain has been wired for early mornings for seven years," Meredith said as she leaned into him. "Plus, I just have a lot on my mind."

"You're not nervous because my mom is coming out for a visit, are you? Because she loves you, Mer. Sometimes, I think she loves you more than she loves me," he chuckled.

"No, it's not about your mom. She's more of a mom to me than mine ever was," Meredith admitted. "It's the appointment today. I know nothing's wrong. I just need to see Jellybean, hear her heartbeat echo in that room, and for Dr. Halloran to tell us we're out of the woods."

"That's exactly what she's going to say," Derek promised, putting his hands on her belly. "God, my mom's gonna be so excited. We told her you were pregnant with Lilly over the phone, so I can't wait to see her face in person."

Meredith turned around to face him, draping her arms over his shoulders. "The nineteenth grandchild, right?"

"Lucky nineteen. Maybe she'll get the twentieth from us, too," Derek teased.

"Yeah, we'll see," Meredith said just to appease him. "Anyway, that's the story of why I'm making brownies. The only things that can keep me distracted are chocolate and sex."

"Well, the brownies can help you with the chocolate, and I can help you with the sex," Derek suggested.

"I would, but the brownies will be done in a few minutes, then I need to take a shower before Lilly gets up," Meredith said.

"Even better. I need to take a shower, too. We can multitask."

"It's been a while since we've done it in the shower," she mused, growing more fond of the idea as Derek pressed kisses to her neck. "And I guess if we're going to have shower sex, we should do it before your mom gets here. Our shower echoes, so if we do anything in there, she'll know."

Derek suppressed a cringe at the thought of his mother catching wind of any shower shenanigans, and the look on his face made Meredith laugh. "I hate to break this to you, but we have a daughter, and another baby on the way. She knows you've had sex, Derek."

"Yeah, I try not to think about that," Derek said.

The oven timer went off, signaling that the brownies were finished, and Meredith smiled in satisfaction. "Perfect timing. I'll let my breakfast cool off while I get laid."

"Your double fudge breakfast?" he asked as she walked over to the oven.

"Yes." Meredith slipped the oven mitts on her hands, and took the brownies out, setting them on the counter. After taking off the oven mitts, she took Derek's hand and led him out of the kitchen toward the stairs.

"Wow, not wasting any time, huh?"

"Nope," Meredith said as they reached the upstairs landing.

They walked as quietly as they could to the end of the hall and into the bathroom. But as soon as Derek pulled back the shower curtain, they both paused, surveying the rubber duckies lining the edge of the tub. "Nope, this isn't going to work. I can't do it in front of the duckies."

"Can you just... look the other way?"

Meredith shook her head. "No matter where I look, I'll see them. They're everywhere."

"Alright, how about this?" Derek asked as he began gathering them in his arms. He took pile after pile, then set them on the shelf of towels that was next to the shower. "There. Out of sight, out of mind."

"That's better," Meredith approved, showing her gratitude by peeling her shirt over her head.

Derek kicked off his boxers while turning on the water faucets, his attention sidetracked from trying to find the perfect temperature when Meredith shimmied off her shorts and panties. "I love when you do that."

"You mean get naked? Good, because this is only week nine of forty. Or knowing how much our kids seem to like my uterus, forty-one. So get used to me stripping and wanting to mount you twenty-four-seven."

"Always happy to oblige," Derek said, stepping over the lip of the tub. He reached out his hand and she stepped into it with him, the shower head raining warm water over both of them.

Meredith gasped when he picked her up, and she wrapped her arms loosely around his neck. "Please don't drop me," she requested playfully before the yellow ducky shower rungs caught her eye. "Next time we do it in the shower, we're using the one in our bathroom. I feel like I'm having sex on Sesame Street."

"Do you want to stop?" he asked, hard and pressing against her.

Meredith put her hands on his cheeks and kissed him. "Hmm, what do you think?"

"Okay, then."

Without another word, Derek rocked his hips forward, filling her to the brim. Meredith tipped her head back and moaned in pleasure, their audience of duckies forgotten.

...

After the sudsy morning fun had in the shower, Meredith was feeling more relaxed about the upcoming appointment she had in a few hours. Of course, Lilly helped, too. The two sat together at the tea table in the living room, having a tea party at Lilly's request.

"Tea, Ma?" Lilly asked, offering up the pink, plastic teapot.

Meredith smiled and held out her matching teacup. "I'd love some; thank you," she said. "Do you like your tea set?"

"Lub tea," Lilly replied as she poured the pretend tea into Meredith's cup.

"I drank tea every day when you were in my belly, so that's probably why," Meredith giggled, accepting the teacup once Lilly handed it back to her. She added pretend milk and a pretend teaspoon of sugar, then took a sip. "Delicious. Thank you, peanut."

Lilly pointed to the empty seat that had been dubbed Derek's. "Dada?"

"Dada went to the airport to pick up Gammy. They should be home any minute now," Meredith explained as she spread some invisible butter on a fake scone.

Lilly's face lit up at the mention of her grandma, whom she'd been video chatting with at least once a week. "Gammy?"

"Yeah. Gammy missed you so much, and couldn't wait until Thanksgiving to see you, so Dada and your aunts surprised her with a trip. And when she gets here, we're going to surprise her with Jellybean," Meredith said, pointing to the small swell under her shirt that Lilly already kissed multiple times a day.

"I do?" Lilly asked.

"Sure, you can tell Gammy. She would love that," Meredith said, her stomach flip-flopping in excitement when she heard Derek's car pull up in the driveway outside. "I think Dada and Gammy are here, Lillybug."

Lilly bolted up out of her chair and ran to the front door, Meredith following close behind. "Dada Gammy, Ma!" Lilly clapped in anticipation.

"I know, I see them," Meredith laughed. She scooped Lilly into one arm and opened the front door with the other, immediately enveloped in a hug.

"Hi, sweethearts. I missed you so much," Linda said before kissing them both on the cheek. "Look how big you are, Lilly. Those video chats don't do you justice."

"She's tall and gorgeous, just like her Mommy," Derek boasted, ushering all of them into the living room.

"Yes, she is," his mother agreed. "The last time I saw you in person, you were just a tiny baby."

Once they were seated on the couch, Lilly patted Meredith's belly, eager to share the news. "My bay."

"Skipping right to the main event, huh Lilly?" Derek chuckled.

"What?" Linda asked curiously.

"Go ahead, peanut. Show Gammy," Meredith encouraged.

Lilly lifted up the bottom of Meredith's shirt, revealing the little bump underneath, and they watched as Mrs. Shepherd's eyes were drawn to it instantly.

"You're having another baby?" she asked in awe.

"Yeah, we are. I'm nine weeks," Meredith replied, noticing the happy tears in her mother-in-law's eyes.

"Grandchild number nineteen is due March 23rd, so mark your calendar," Derek said. He wrapped his arm around his mom's shoulder and kissed her temple. "We wanted to tell you in person, so this trip came at the perfect time."

"You know, I knew one grandbaby would take my breath away," Linda said as she combed her fingers through Lilly's curls, "but I never expected another one would, too."

Meredith smiled. "Neither did we. This one kind of... snuck up on us," she said. "An unexpected surprise, but the best surprise ever."

"Oh, that's how we got Derek, too. Jim and I had a little too much champagne on the Fourth of July, and nine months later, Derek was born," Mrs. Shepherd divulged.

A hot crimson blush spread over Derek's cheeks. "Oh, jeez."

"We have an ultrasound in a couple hours. We were hoping you'd come along," Meredith offered.

"Really?"

"Of course. We need to introduce Jellybean to Gammy, right?" Derek asked Lilly, who was busy kissing Meredith's belly.

"Jellybean?" Linda questioned.

Lilly turned toward her grandma, patting Meredith's bump with her little hand. "My Bean."

"Her Bean," Derek echoed. "She's very pumped about the whole big sister thing."

"That's how you sisters were with you. They adored you, until you were about a month old, and you peed all over them when they changed your diaper," his mother reminisced.

"Here for five minutes, and we've already walked down memory lane twice. Thanks, Ma."

...

Lilly danced around the OB exam room, her new purple tutu from her grandma flying up as she twirled in circles. She was a welcomed distraction to the butterflies in Meredith's stomach as they waited for Dr. Halloran to arrive.

"A gub?" she asked, pointing to the box of gloves on the counter.

"You want Dada to blow up a glove for you? Okay," Derek said. He set Lilly on the counter next to the sink, and began to inflate one of the exam gloves like a balloon. "Dada will draw a face on Mr. Glove, too."

Mrs. Shepherd smiled over at the two of them, watching their interaction. "I can't get over how much they look alike. I could stare at them all day."

"Oh, I do that all the time," Meredith giggled. "Sometimes, I'll come home from work, or I'll walk downstairs in the morning, and they're both napping on the couch, Lilly on his chest, with his hand draped over her back. It doesn't matter if I'm already running late, or have ten things to do. I still just take a minute and... soak them in, you know?"

"You'll never stop doing that, no matter how much time passes," Linda promised, giving her hand a gentle squeeze.

Meredith squeezed back in kind. "Okay, good."

"Gub, Ma!" Lilly said in delight, holding up her purple balloon glove with a silly face drawn on it, Derek's feeble attempt at artwork.

"I love it, peanut," Meredith gushed in her mommy voice.

"I can't believe how verbal she is," Mrs. Shepherd said.

"Oh, yeah. We have full conversations with her. We took her to the dentist for the first time last month, and she was so chatty that it took the doctor a half hour to do a five minute check-up," Derek shared.

Meredith smiled at her daughter, who was batting the inflated glove around the room with Derek as though it were a beach ball. "That's my girl. Chatty like her Daddy."

There was a short knock on the door before Dr. Halloran entered the exam room, Meredith's chart under her arm. "Wow, we've got a full house in here. It's good to see you again," she said, extending her hand toward Mrs. Shepherd. "I'm Dr. Halloran, Meredith's OB."

"Nice to meet you. I'm Linda, Derek's mom," Linda returned.

"Those Shepherd genes really are strong, huh?" Dr. Halloran observed, setting Meredith's chart on the counter to wash her hands.

"I'm still holding out hope that this one looks like me. Long shot, I know, but I can dream," Meredith played along.

"Both of my boys are the spitting image of my husband, but my daughter finally came out looking like me, so there's always hope," Dr. Halloran agreed. "So, how are you feeling? Any issues since I last saw you?"

Meredith reached for Derek's hand out of habit, and shook her head. "No, I feel good. The nausea is wearing off a little bit, and I finally started to get a belly last week. Plus, Derek and I have a doppler at home, so we've been listening to the heartbeat every few days. It's been running in the 170s-180s, which is good," she rambled.

"She's a little nervous, if you couldn't tell," Derek added.

Meredith nudged him with her elbow. "Shut up. But yeah, a little bit."

"Well then, let's get started. We'll take some measurements, listen to the heartbeat, and get some pictures of your little one," Dr. Halloran said. She reclined the exam table, and pulled on a pair of gloves, squirting some gel onto Meredith's belly after she lifted up her shirt.

"Okay, zooming in to get a good view of your uterus," Dr. Halloran said, dragging the transducer under Meredith's belly button. "Look at that; not much searching required. He was ready for us. Hi, baby."

Meredith exhaled in relief, soaking in the image of their baby on the screen. "Hey, you," she said softly.

"Dat?" Lilly asked from her place on her grandma's hip.

"That's Jellybean," Derek said.

Lilly's lips formed a small 'o' in surprise, and she blew a kiss to the blobby 4-D image. "Hi, Bean!"

"See here, baby's moving his little arm and leg buds," Dr. Halloran pointed. "You can't see on here, but he already has ten fingers and ten toes. All of his facial features are there, too."

"Looks just like Lilly," Derek joked, Meredith's grip on his hand loosening as she began to relax.

"Certainly just as beautiful," Linda chimed in.

"Good size, too. Judging by my measurements, I'd say you're just at nine weeks, which is what we calculated last time," Dr. Halloran said. "Lilly was a full week late if I recall, correct?"

"Yeah, she was due at the end of May, and born in early June. That's why I'm expecting this one in April, not March. If she's anything like Lilly, she'll pick a new date and month," Meredith said, smiling as the baby wiggled on the screen. "That's okay, though. I'd rather cook them a little longer than have them early."

Dr. Halloran patted Meredith's shoulder in empathy. "That's the spirit. And luckily, Lilly was a week late, and only weighed a little over six pounds. If babies are going to camp out longer, it's better that they're the petite ones, not the ten pounders."

"It gives me nightmares just thinking about it," Meredith shuddered.

"We won't think about that right now," Dr. Halloran laughed. "How about we listen to the heartbeat instead?"

"Beep?" Lilly asked.

"Yeah, her heartbeat. Just like we've been listening to it at home," Meredith said, giving Lilly her hand when she reached for it.

"You see this little, white flicker, Lilly? That's the baby's heart," Dr. Halloran said as she turned on the volume. "Hear that?"

The fast, powerful woosh-woosh-woosh sound of the baby's heart bounced off the walls of the room, so strong and reassuring that any residual fears Meredith had faded away. Derek leaned in and kissed her, feeling her sigh against his lips.

"He's perfect, Derek," Meredith whispered.

"Yes, he is."

"182 beats per minute; that's excellent," Dr. Halloran said.

Lilly listened to the loud echo in curious fascination, her usual chatty commentary halted momentarily as she took in the sound of her little brother or sister's heartbeat. Finally, she looked to her parents with her wide, blue eyes. "Bean beep?"

"Yeah, that's Jellybean's heart. It beats just like yours," Meredith said, patting her chest over her heart.

Lilly mimicked by putting her own chubby hand on her chest. "My beep?"

"Mommy and Daddy listened to your beep when you were in Mommy's belly, too," Derek said, all of them watching with amusement as she absorbed all of the information.

"So, you'd say everything is on track, then?" Meredith asked.

"Absolutely. I know you've been worried, since this pregnancy had a... unique set of circumstances in the beginning. But you've made it nine weeks, and you're doing great. No cramping, no bleeding, nothing out of the ordinary. The fetus is right on target. Your little guy is tough. Plus, he's got you to keep him safe. From here on out, I want you to just relax and enjoy it," Dr. Halloran said with calming reassurance.

"Okay," Meredith nodded. She blinked past the tears that built in her eyes, her hand still laced with Derek's. Stupid hormones or not, it was what she needed to hear, and she let herself soak it in. "Thank you. I, um... thanks."

Dr. Halloran smiled as she wiped the blue gel off Meredith's abdomen. "You're very welcome. Now how about I print you guys a big stack of pictures, and load the video footage onto a DVD?"

"That would be great; thank you," Derek agreed.

Lilly cocked her head in worry when she saw her mom crying. "'Kay, Ma?" she asked.

"Yeah, baby," Meredith said, smiling at the freeze-frame image of Jellybean on the screen. "Mommy's just really, really happy."

...

It was an hour after sundown, and since Lilly had a few more ounces of energy to use before she fell asleep, her activity of choice was a princess tea party. And since Derek had been the primary guest the last few days while Meredith had been at work, she gave her husband a free pass to skip it and shower instead.

Meredith and Linda sat at the wooden, pink table donning the crowns Lilly designated to them, leaving Derek's extra sparkly one aside in case he wanted to join in later. "Tea, Gam?" she asked.

"I'd love a cup," Mrs. Shepherd said eagerly.

After Lilly finished pouring her grandma's tea, she turned to Meredith. "Ma?"

"Yes, please," Meredith smiled, watching as Lilly daintily poured the pretend tea, just as she'd done earlier in the day. "This looks so yummy. Thank you, Lillybug."

"Bow," Lilly instructed, blowing on the cup to cool off the fake hot tea it held.

Both her mom and grandma followed her lead, and blew the fake steam off the surface. "Good thinking. You're so smart," Linda praised.

"She is. Some of the things she comes out with leave Derek and me speechless. If her little sister is anything her, it's going to be a comedy club in here," Meredith said, eating one of Lilly's cereal puffs that served as cookies for the occasion.

"Do you and Derek think it's another girl?" Linda asked.

"We really have no idea. Derek knew Lilly was going to be a girl from the day I found out I was pregnant. This time around, we're still in shock that this one outsmarted birth control that we haven't given pink or blue much thought yet," Meredith admitted before her cheeks heated in a hot blush. "Sorry. I probably shouldn't be chatting about birth control with my mother-in-law."

Mrs. Shepherd laughed, waving it off immediately. "Oh honey, I raised four daughters and have nearly a dozen nieces. I've seen, heard, and been through it all. You can talk to me about anything. What happens at the princess tea party, stays at the princess tea party," she teased.

"Thank you," Meredith said softly. "It's just my crazy mom brain. When I was pregnant with Lilly, I didn't really worry, because she was planned. I mean, we were ready for another one this time, anyway, so getting pregnant a few months earlier wasn't a big deal to us. It's just the way it happened was risky, and I tend to think the worst, so it's been hard not to worry, even though I know everything is fine."

"I'm not sure if Derek ever told you this, but he wasn't planned either," Linda said, both of them smiling when Lilly scooped spoonful after spoonful of invisible sugar into her teacup.

"He wasn't?" Meredith asked in surprise.

"No. Nancy just turned one, and my OB said because I was breastfeeding, my chances of conceiving were slim. At that time, our insurance didn't cover birth control, and since Jim and I were already pinching pennies, we used that as our... preventative method, so to speak. But then, Fourth of July came along, and I found out I was pregnant again that August," Mrs. Shepherd said, spinning her wedding band around on her finger at the memory.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. It was stressful even having to tell Jim. I was a stay-at-home mom, and he worked at a hardware store. Even with Kate and Nancy, it was a struggle to make ends meet, and now, there was going to be another mouth to feed. But when we went to the doctor a week later, and we heard his little heartbeat, it just didn't matter anymore. All that mattered was that sweet, perfect baby. I saw that look on your face today, Meredith. It was the same look I had on my face. Nothing but joy," she said.

Meredith smiled, wiping her eyes with a frilly tea napkin. "Thank you for sharing that with me."

"I wish I could've told you sooner, if I'd known it would help. I know your mom isn't around—and I promise, I'm not trying to overstep—but you can always talk to me, sweetheart. About anything... mom stuff, baby stuff, everything in between," Linda offered.

"I think I'll take you up on that. Thank you," Meredith said. She reached out her arms, and Lilly happily toddled over, planting herself on her mom's lap. "Lilly, your Gammy is awesome."

"Gammy, cone?" Lilly asked her grandma, pulling a plastic scone from the pocket of her princess nightgown.

"One year old, and you know what a scone is. So did your Dada, thanks to his two big sisters that made him play tea party day and night," Mrs. Shepherd laughed as she slathered fake butter on the plastic food.

"That's because I didn't know any better. Once I was four, and I had Mark as my ally, we rebelled," Derek chimed in, walking over to the three of them.

Meredith handed Derek his sparkly crown and patted the pink chair next to hers. "Well, your daughter requests your presence," she teased.

"Anything for her," Derek agreed. He picked up his teacup, pinky outstretched. "A spot of tea, Miss?" he asked Lilly.

Lilly hopped off Meredith's lap, ever the good hostess, to retrieve the teapot, and Meredith giggled at his enthusiasm. "Good pinky action."

Derek grinned, wiggling it at her as Lilly poured his tea. "Thank you, Madam."