7. Chapter 7

After Law and Murder

By

UCSBdad

Disclaimer: Yes, I still do not own this. Rating: K Time: Really? You need to ask?

"I shouldn't be doing this." Castle and Beckett thought simultaneously.

Castle watched the opening credits of Forbidden Planet scroll by.

"What was I thinking of, lying to Beckett to get her to take me to this movie? I don't lie to women, not anymore. Have I ever lied to get a date? Lie, not a little harmless exaggeration, but a full blown lie? And to Beckett? Suppose Alexis mentions something about Forbidden Planet being one of my favorite films? Christ, she'll kill me if she finds out.

Jenny Donaldson! I lied to her when I was sixteen to get a date with her. She loved rock music, so I told her I was in a band. Big deal. I took her to a dance, she fell madly in love with the drummer and I never got a second date with her.

It's not just the lie. It's the lie to Beckett. She's different. Castle smiled to himself. Who am I trying to kid? I lie every day to Beckett. She asked me why I stayed with her and I lied. I told her I was her plucky sidekick. I didn't tell her I stay because I love her. If I tell her that, then I'm out of her life for good. I'm her partner, nothing else.

I can't get out of her life. I'm trying to keep her alive. So, the greater good, then? I lie to Beckett to keep her safe. Am I saying the ends justify the means? God, where has that attitude led to in the past? What's my alternative? Congratulating myself on my innate honesty at Beckett's funeral? Beckett's funeral? What was I thinking of? You are going to lie, cheat and steal to keep Kate Beckett safe, and if you lose her because of that, so be it.

Are sins of omission as bad as the sins of commission? Does not compute. Forget it, just keep Beckett alive.

I will. Richard Castle, twice married playboy will do the honorable thing and save Kate Beckett for Doctor Motorcycle Boy. God, but I hate irony.

Kate glanced over at Castle, seemingly engrossed in the opening scenes of Forbidden Planet.

He could get killed. How can I even ask him to do this with me? Kate smiled mirthlessly. Who am I kidding? Richard Castle will stay out of my life shortly after hell freezes over. From the first case we ever worked he wouldn't, couldn't follow orders. I remember how angry I was when I found he'd stolen the file for the Tisdale murder. And he solved the case and caught the killer with me a step behind all the way.

If only I could sit down and really talk to Castle about…everything. I know he cares for me as I care for him. But he's so damned egotistical and immature. Kate found herself sneering at herself. When did you find him egotistical and immature? Was it when he followed you into a gunfight with no gun? Maybe when he battered Lockwood's head into the floor, saving your life and Ryan and Esposito's? Was it when…Kate stopped. This is getting me nowhere. Castle is Castle and I may never understand him. But he is my partner, the best partner I've ever had, the only one I want. But if I get Castle killed…

No! Do not think of that. Think in the short term, you're good at that. Stay alive, keep Castle alive, find whoever ordered your mom's death. Worry about everything else later.

Oh God! I have a boyfriend and a partner and I don't know how I really feel about either one. Josh is my chance for something solid, something real. Castle is my chance for…magic. But magic never lasts. Does it?

We have to talk when this is all over. Castle and Beckett thought simultaneously.