31. Chapter 31

After Rise

By

UCSBdad

Disclaimer: None of this is mine. Rating: K+. Time: See above.

Kate Beckett let herself back into her apartment and collapsed onto her couch. Her discussion with Dr. Burke had brought the events of the past three months back to her. Everything she had tried to push out of her mind had come back, starting with the ending of her relationship with Josh.

She had been ready to leave the hospital and go to her father's cabin when Josh had walked in. "Hey, I won't be able to get to your dad's place until the weekend, but we can spend some time together then."

Kate had shaken her head. "Josh, no. I don't want you to come up."

"Too soon?"

She had shaken her head again and looked him in the eye. "No, I mean I don't want you to come up at all. We're not going to make it. This is goodbye."

Josh had nodded and smiled. "I can't help it, Kate. I'm always going to be going off to someplace where people need me more than they do in New York. I won't change."

Kate smiled at him. "I wouldn't want you to. The world needs people like you. But it just isn't going to work for us. I'm really sorry." She held out her hand. "Goodbye, Josh."

He took her hand and gave it a brief squeeze, then she headed for the door. Suddenly Josh moved in front of her. "Don't tell me you're going to be with that bastard?"

Kate was confused. "What? What are you talking about?"

"The writer. That bastard Castle. He's the one who got you shot. He pushed you to look into your mom's murder after you let it go."

"Josh! That was my mother's murder! Nobody has to push me into looking into that murder. She was my mom and I'm still a cop."

Josh put a hand on her shoulder. "Kate, Richard Castle has written three of those damned books about you and he's made millions. Do you think he cares one damned bit about you?"

"The books are not about me. Nikki Heat is fictional. And yes, Castle does care for me." Kate snapped.

"Kate, don't be stupid. He was probably hoping you'd die. His muse, the real Nikki Heat getting killed on the job? Sales would skyrocket."

Kate was so angry she just stood there for a moment. Then she slapped Josh as hard as she could. "Get out of my way." She growled, but Josh stood between her and the door.

"Kate, look at the kind of man he is. He's a playboy. His whole life has been about getting one woman after another into bed. What do you think he's been doing while you were here in the hospital? I bet he's been banging every supermodel and celebrity he can get his paws on. If you sleep with him, he'll be gone as soon as he gets bored. And given his track record, that'll be sooner rather than later."

Kate's mind was filled with images of Castle since she'd met him. All of the times that he had risked his life on cases. All the times he had worked long hours digging for evidence. Kate opened her mouth, but decided Josh didn't deserve a reply. "Dr. Davidson, if you don't get out of my way, I will scream. Normally, I'd get you out of my way by myself, but I'm still not physically up for that. Now move."

He had moved.

Kate thought back to her days at her father's cabin. The days had been bad and the nights worse. Much worse. She had dreamed about her shooting. Again and again, she had felt the bullet slam into her chest. The searing pain, the shock, the in and out of consciousness of her ride to the hospital.

Worse were her dreams about Captain Montgomery. Castle had been right. Everyone associated with her mother's case was dead. Raglan and McAllister were dead. They had been dirty cops and they deserved to be punished, but they didn't deserve to be murdered. She thought of Roy Montgomery. He had been a dirty cop, but he was her mentor. He had made her the homicide cop she was today. And he had died for her. Kate had laughed bitterly to herself. She had wanted Castle out of her life when he had investigated her mother's case against her wishes. But when he had told her to stop investigating, she had ignored him and listened to Montgomery. Now, because of her, Roy Montgomery was dead. Evelyn Montgomery was a widow. The three Montgomery children had no father.

How many more were dead, Kate had wondered? Whoever was behind those murders was not only rich and powerful, he apparently had his hit squads on speed dial. Kate was sure he must have killed other people, probably many other people. Kate had realized she had no choice. Whoever he was, he was after her. And he could hurt the people she loved, the people she cared about. It was no longer just about her and her mother. It was about the Montgomery's family and the unknown families of his other victims. She had to bring him down. She couldn't do anything else until she did.

Kate, I love you. I love you, Kate.

Those words had haunted her during her three months away from him. She had spent hours rehearsing what she would say to Castle when she finally got the nerve to see him. As soon as they had sat down on the swings, the words were gone from her mind. She had told him that she couldn't have the type of relationships she wanted, she couldn't be the kind of person she wanted to be until her nemesis was taken down. She hoped she had managed to make it clear that the kind of person she wanted to be, the kind of relationship she wanted, was with Rick Castle, for as long as he'd have her.

And she had needed him from the start. She had totally frozen when Landers had pointed the gun at her. Castle was the only one who noticed and he kept quiet. Then when Mitch Yancey got the drop on her, Castle had been right there, risking his life, to help her through it.

Kate smiled as she remembered what Castle had said to her back at the precinct when she had thanked him for having her back. "That's what partners are for."

They were truly partners.

Rick, I love you. I love you, Rick.

Author's Note: I also had trouble writing the first part of this one. I kept asking myself, why couldn't Kate have a can of pepper spray, a pair of brass knuckles and a flamethrower when checking out of a hospital?