40. Chapter 40

After 47 Seconds

By

UCSBdad

Disclaimer: No, still own no Castle. Yes, I did check. Rating: K Time: See above.

It's all about the story. Rick Castle sat in his darkened office with a glass of Scotch and a bottle. The story will make sense, you just have to find it. Okay, Rick Castle's story is pretty easy and you do know it. You had run out of ideas for Derrick Storm. You met an attractive detective who brought you into a case. In the course of the case, you found that Kate Beckett wasn't just another pretty face. She was a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma. You found another character, Nikki Heat. And Nikki Heat was Kate Beckett. You had a new muse.

Castle sipped his Scotch. Sip slowly. I don't want to get drunk and lose the thread of the story. Or do I? No, no, I need to find out the whole story. Well, I know how it ends, so I'll start with how it began. As above. I had a new muse. Problem: She didn't like me. Correction. Backspace and delete. Kate Beckett hated me. She said I was shallow, had the attention span of a cocker spaniel and got in her way. Maybe that's why she hated me so much? Castle, the dumb amateur, upstaged the best homicide detective in New York by finding she'd arrested the wrong man that first time. How many other cases did I help solve by seeing something that no one else saw? And all those cops could see what I'd done. Talk about showing her up!

This is a good point! After all, Kate Beckett's entire life has been about being the best cop she could be. And why? Because her mother was murdered. And when she'd given up trying to find the killer, who found the evidence that led us to Dick Coonan? Correcto mundo! None other than Rick Castle, amateur detective. And then she had to shoot Coonan to save me. Wait! She wanted Coonan to walk. He had to get away so she could track him down and find out who hired him. Then I head butted Coonan and she had to shoot him. For someone obsessed with finding her mom's killer, that must have been infuriating. I'm probably lucky she didn't "accidentally" put a round through my head. Is that what this is all about: Revenge?

The next time we had anything about her mother's murder was when John Raglan called her. Raglan told her to come alone, so why ask me along? She didn't trust Raglan. Aha! The old rodeo clown trick. Just like the rodeo clown distracts the brahma bull, Castle distracts the crooked cop. Very smart of Beckett, if Raglan had had anything in mind other than being a target.

She is smart, I'll give her that. She'd have never come up with Coonan's $100,000 without me. For that matter, when we solve a crime, she gets the credit since Richard Castle is just a writer tagging along with a real detective. And I'm good for comic relief. She must have gotten a real laugh out of famous writer and playboy Richard Castle following her around like a love struck teenager.

I have to wonder about the men in her life. She met up with that FBI agent Sorenson and in no time at all she was making out with him in the break room. I wonder if she saw or heard me coming and made a move on Sorenson? She'd enjoy that if she hates me. Making out with another man in my presence. "Hey, Castle! Look at what you'll never have, no matter what you do." Then there was Demming. She met him and they could hardly keep their hands off of each other in the precinct. Then when I was no longer around to be bothered by the two of them, she dumped Demming in no time flat. Poor Demming. Just another man used and dumped by Kate Beckett. Then there's my old pal, Doc Motorcycle Boy. She liked to bring him around and mention him when she couldn't get him there. I can imagine what she was thinking. "Hey, Castle, I'm sleeping with a guy. Try using your famous imagination, because that's as close to my body as you'll ever get." And I remember her telling me that DMB had saved a life one morning and what had I done? Risked my life stupidly and for nothing, that's what I did.

I wonder if she slept with anyone at the precinct? Montgomery? He was her mentor, but he was very married and very old school. No, I can't really see him screwing Beckett. How about Ryan? All those years of Catholic schools. Nah, I can't see Ryan and Beckett in bed. What about Esposito? I'm pretty sure that he's the closest to her of all the people in the precinct. Yeah! I can see the two of them together. Espo has always had the hots for anything female. I'm sure Beckett would love to think about banging Espo while talking to me.

I wonder if anyone know what she really thought about me? I can't see any of the guys sitting with Beckett and laughing about poor, dumb Castle, not even Espo. But Lanie? Yeah, I can see the two of them sitting around and giggling over a glass of wine. I can't say that Lanie was ever one of my biggest fans. Come to think of it, Beckett was never one of my biggest fans, either. Now that I think of it, I can't say that she ever told me unequivocally that she liked me or that she wanted to be with me. Like that time at the swings when she came to my book signing. She said she had this wall and the wall wouldn't let her be the kind of person she wanted to be, or have the kind of relationships she wanted to have until she solved her mom's murder. At the time I thought she was asking me to wait for her. That the kind of relationship she wanted was with me. But, if I think about it, all she said was that she'd be different after she solved the murder. And they say I'm good with words.

Speaking of words, what about Nikki and Rook? Should I let Rook discover that Nikki is really a manipulative slut? No, bad idea. Very bad idea. The Nikki Heat series is wildly popular, changing it that drastically would hurt sales. Besides, Nikki is what I thought Beckett was. Nikki is still fun to write. But I should be developing another character. Bring Derrick Storm back? I mean he's dead, but I could write about the adventures of the young Derrick Storm. Or maybe someone entirely different?

Come to think about it, I'd love to do a character on Beckett. A real slutty, manipulative bitch who gets her comeuppance. Except everyone knows that about the "romance" that Beckett and I supposedly have. To really do the story right, I'd have to have a stupid Richard Castle-like character. Forget that one.

Okay, that's the worst case scenario. Are there others? I guess so. Vest case scenario: One day a mystery writer walks into the world of Kate Beckett. She doesn't like him, doesn't find him at all attractive, but puts up with him because she has to. She makes her dislike clear and never really warms up to him, but she is polite. The men in her life? Hey, sometimes things don't work out. I have no real evidence that her choice in men is in any way related to me. Then one day I tell her I love her, about the last thing she wants to hear. She's still polite about it, though. She just keeps me at arms-length with her so-called wall until I get tired and go away.

I wonder about that wall. Dies it even exist? Yeah, probably. Does she want it to go down? She's lived with it for so long it probably seems normal to her by now. Not so much a wall, but a fortress where she can be safe. And alone.

Are there other options between my worst case scenario and the best case scenario? Sure, but do I really care?

One thing, though. When I first worked with Beckett, I told her about herself. How she'd had money and options other than being a cop. I guessed, correctly, that someone close to her had been murdered. And I saw endless pain in her eyes. Pain so deep and soul crushing that I just wanted to take her in my arms and tell her that I'd take the pain away and replace it with joy. I'd still do that if I could since I still love Kate Beckett and will love her always.

Author's note: In answer to a number of questions, yes, Rick and Kate will get together. But, since I am following canon closely on this, they don't get together until I write After Always, which is still a few stories down the road.