42. Chapter 42

After Headhunters and After Undead Again

By

UCSBdad

Disclaimer: Is Castle mine? Can I have a show of hands? Thank you, Mr. Marlowe for clearing that up. Rating: K Time: Then

"Come in, Kate. Please, be seated." Dr. Burke walked Kate to her chair and then sat in his own. "Now, how have you been since last we met?"

"Much better, thanks."

"Have you talked to Castle at all?"

Kate smiled shyly. "Yes. We've talked."

"Have you told him how you feel yet?"

Kate sighed and looked away from Dr. Burke. "No, but things are better between us."

"Please tell me then. How are they better?"

Kate closed her eyes and marshalled her thoughts. "For one, I haven't seen or heard of that blonde he was hanging around with." Kate was unable to keep the bitterness out of her voice.

"You call her that blonde, or other names. What do you think her relationship with Castle is, or was?"

Kate shrugged. "Castle is sweet, very generous and a lot of fun. I suppose she was just looking for a good time."

"You don't think she was serious about Castle?"

Kate shook her head. "No. Of course not. How could she be after such a short time?"

Dr. Burke nodded. "What about Castle then? Do you think he was serious?"

"No, she wasn't his type at all. As he said, she's just fun and uncomplicated. Someone to have fun with."

"What is his type, then? He doesn't like fun?" He said with a smile. "And please don't tell me it's complicated."

Kate stared at the floor and finally spoke in a low tone. "I want to be Castle's type. I'm trying to be his type."

"And that would be?"

"Fierce, brave, caring, dedicated. I'd like to be fun, too."

"Sounds like you. How did that case with the other detective go?"

Kate was happy to get onto another subject. "It started badly but ended well. The other detective…He's in the gang task force. He's a loose cannon, in my opinion, but…I suppose the gang task force needs a certain kind of person. What they didn't need was Castle. He was all wrong for that type of work. He's a thinker, not a head breaker. Castle got in over his head and needed my help. The other cop had arrested the wrong person for murder, but we couldn't prove it. Being back with Castle on a case was just like it was before…Before whatever happened. Castle figured out why the murder victim was where he was when he was killed and what he was doing. That told us who he was waiting for and who he was waiting for was his killer. We solved the case and got the real killer arrested."

"So you enjoyed being with Castle again on a case?"

Kate nodded enthusiastically. "When it was over, I told him that we're partners. He seemed happy. At least if we're still partners, he'll be coming to see me every day. We've got that much again."

"But only that much. You want to be more than his partner on the job."

"Yes. No matter what some people say." Kate realized she'd said more than she intended.

"There are people who don't approve of your relationship with Castle?" Dr. Burke asked, suddenly curious.

"It's not that they don't approve. They don't understand." Kate stopped to put her thoughts in order. "I talked to a friend of mine. My best friend. She and the two detectives I work with had been talking about my relationship with Castle and how it had suddenly gone off the rails when he started with that…stewardess."

"How did they feel about the young lady with Castle?" Dr. Burke tried to be as emotionally neutral as possible.

"They basically felt that Castle should try someone else. That three years of pursuing me hadn't gotten him anywhere and that he should move on."

"How do you feel about that?"

Kate nodded. "No one knows more than I how much grief I've caused Castle. Sometimes I'm absolutely amazed that Richard Castle, millionaire author, playboy, world traveler, celebrity and god knows what else, has stayed with me for three years. Especially after the way I've treated him."

"Why do you think he's still with you?"

Kate knew the answer to that. "He loves me. As hard as it is sometimes for me to believe that he loves some cop. At first I thought it was sex. That he just wanted another conquest, but no one would put up with what Castle has just for sex, no matter how good it was. I've gotten to know him better over the years. I know what a good family man he is. How much he cares for his daughter and his mother. Things that never show up on Page Six. He's a good man. He takes a great deal of pride in bringing criminals to justice, just like I do. I decided we could be friends. In spite of the way I felt about him when I was with…someone else, I really didn't think we'd ever be more than friends."

"And you think you're ready to be more than friends?"

"Yes." Kate took a deep breath. "My friend said that I hadn't made any progress in my relationship with Castle in more than three years and that I probably never would. She was wrong. I went from not wanting Castle around at all, to accepting him as a partner. Then as a friend and finally as the man I love."

"I had boyfriends in high school and college, but nothing really serious. My mom was murdered when I was nineteen and my life changed. I had no time for any serious relationships. It wasn't until Castle came along that I saw that someone could have a social life and be a good detective. I confess I didn't do well. My first date in years was with some fireman and I actually ended up solving a murder with Castle rather than finishing my date. Maybe I should have taken that as a sign from the Universe that I should be with Castle and saved both of us a lot of grief."

"So you feel your friends are wrong?"

"Definitely."

"But all you've told Castle is that you want him as a partner. Don't you need to do more? Soon?"

"I will. I will."

"From the sound of things you may not have much time. Castle could decide to move on again if you don't do something about your feelings for him."

"I have." Kate told Dr. Burke about the case with the zombies. "When we were done, I told Castle that I'm still in therapy and that it's helping. I told him that my wall is coming down and that I want him to be there when it finally fell. He said he'd like to be there. I don't need much more time. Then I can be the person I want to be. The person who can be with Castle."

"It sounds like you won't need me, then." Dr. Burke said with a smile.

Kate looked at Dr. Burke. "Could I ask you something?"

"Certainly. What is it?"

"Could I come here with Castle?"

Dr. Burke frowned. "Do you think Mr. Castle needs my help?"

"No, no. Not at all. But I still have trouble with clearly expressing my feelings. I've kept everything bottled up inside me for so many years, it's going to be hard to change. I'm afraid I'll have problems telling Castle everything about me, everything about the last couple of years. There are things I've done that I'm not…not proud of. I think if I'm here with you and Castle, it'll be easier. Can we come and see you?"

"Would you do one thing, Kate?"

She nodded vigorously. "Anything."

"Do you think you could start calling him Rick instead of Castle?"

Kate smiled. "Can I come here with Rick, then?"

"Certainly."