60. Chapter 60

After Deep in Death

By

UCSBdad

Disclaimer: How many of these do you suppose I don't own? All of them. Rating: K Time: See above.

Author's note: Yes, I have done this one before.

"Castle, see you tomorrow." Castle turned, looked at her and then left. Kate sat in the darkened bullpen thinking about what had just happened. What does that man do to me? An hour ago I was happy to have him out of my life. He comes in, apologized and now he'll be back tomorrow. No, not just for tomorrow. He'll be back for a while yet. I do not understand that man, but there's something going on with us that I can't figure out. I don't understand Castle? Kate laughed to herself. Hell, I don't understand myself anymore. But I definitely don't understand him.

This last case was a perfect example. Castle couldn't wait to go into a poker game run by a bunch of Chinese gangsters for the Russian mob. And how could I say no? It would have taken us months to find the location of that damned game. And what if we did? We couldn't just send a cop in there to stand around and ask questions. Oh, and I can just see myself asking for $20,000 for the cop to play poker with. One Police Plaza would be laughing about that for months. But Castle, he can drop 20 thousand and not blink an eye. Of course, we needed someone who wouldn't be suspected. Castle was perfect as the bored rich man, out for a little excitement. And naturally, he went too far. He got himself into the no limit poker game with a bunch of Russian gangsters, one of whom was a killer. Of course he did. I knew he would. It's Castle. What else would he do? And what else could I do?

Wait! Is that it? Is that the secret to Castle? Is he really a spoiled, bored millionaire looking for some excitement in his life? He certainly gets enough of that with me. Or is he trying to fit in? He's not a cop and as far as I can tell, he's been a writer all of his life. Oh, he's talked to cops, spies, mobsters and all for research, but he's never actually done anything. Is he trying to prove that he's just as good at this as me and Espo and Ryan?

Kate suddenly had a horrifying thought. Is he doing this to impress me? I've never made any effort to hide my dislike for him. When he risks his life is about the only time I really notice him. He's come up with good ideas in our cases. Like figuring out that John Allen needed to be vouched for by someone before becoming a drug mule. But I really don't give him credit for figuring out these things. It's what I expect of my people. Dammit! Castle is not one of my people! Then what is he?

Damn that man. Why does he have to do this to me? It's bad enough he has to mess up my life, open up old wounds, but he leaves me even more of a mess just because it was him, Rick Castle, that did this to me!

I told him that he did this for himself, not for me. But is that right? Oh, hell. I don't know. I can't figure out how that mind of his works. It does work, I know. It works damned well. I have to face it. I like working with Castle. No! I liked working with Castle. Past tense. Then why is he coming back tomorrow? She asked herself slyly. It's because I've never worked with anyone like him before, isn't it? Mike Royce was good, Espo and Ryan are good, but they don't think like Castle. No one thinks like Castle. A horrifying thought crossed her mind. No one thinks like Castle except me. When we saw John Allen's body there in the tree we both said it wasn't a suicide at the same time and for the same reason. We both worked that out at the same time. And that's not the first time that's happened.

Why did Castle look into Mom's murder anyway. What would he get out of it? Research? He'd have no reason to tell me. He could just put it in the book that one of Nikki's cases was someone killed by a professional killer. I'd have never known the difference.

Did he really think he was doing it for me? How could he possibly imagine…How could he think that the pain he caused me with this could help? It's pointless for me to try to figure out Castle. It's just as pointless for me to try to figure out why I asked him to come back tomorrow.

Kate stood up. "That's it. I'm going home to have a good night's sleep. Maybe something will make sense tomorrow." She muttered to herself and headed to the elevator.

Rick Castle sat in his office and sipped a glass of Scotch. She took me back. I'm not sure why she took me back, but she did. The odd thing is that if she hadn't, I would have stopped trying to see her. That woman fascinates me like no one I've ever met, but I would have respected her wishes. Now that isn't the Richard Castle we all know and love. That Richard Castle doesn't take no for an answer. But Beckett means too much to me to force myself on her and to hurt her more than I have.

I did hurt her, didn't I? I was surprised at that. Kate Beckett, Miss Ass Kicking Detective can't handle looking into her own mother's case? I did not see that coming. And I'll probably never know why. I can't just ask her, can I? I wonder if anyone else knows? Lanie? Espo? Ryan? No, don't think like that. You ask one of them and it goes straight back to Beckett and she wants you gone again. No, the best thing for me to do is to just forget about it. If I can.

Okay, so I get up tomorrow, and thank the gods that I can go to the 12th Precinct and see her.

Whoa! Okay, she fascinates me, but is it more than that? I think about getting that lean model's body in bed, but it's way more than that, isn't it. We think alike, don't we? When I'm with her, I'm excited, engaged, I'm using all of my facilities, assembling the facts in different ways, bouncing ideas off of Beckett, having more fun with her out of bed than I've had with most women in bed.

She is different! I can't be thinking like that about Beckett! Can I?

Hell, I already am.