104. Chapter 104

After Knockout, Again

By

UCSBdad

Disclaimer: If I owned Castle, I would have mentioned it by now. Rating: K Time: See above

"Dad? Are you okay?"

"No, Pumpkin, I'm not. And I don't know if I'll ever be okay again."

Alexis walked over and sat by her dad on the couch. "Anything I can do?"

"No." He hugged her. "Come to think of it, yes, there is. Just stay as sweet and innocent as you are now for as long as you can. That'll help."

Alexis shook her head. "I'm afraid it's too late, Dad. Seeing Beckett shot like that. Seeing how everyone reacted. I don't know if I can ever forget that."

"I'm sorry you had to see that, Pumpkin. I'd do anything to keep you from knowing just what the world can be like."

Alexis rested her head on her dad's shoulder. "I had to find out sooner or later. It's not like I'm that sheltered. All you have to do is watch the news and you see what the world is like. Elsewhere, kids my age are fighting in wars, or watching wars being fought around them." Alexis moved so that she could look her father in the eye. "You love Detective Beckett, don't you?"

He nodded. "I do."

"Dad, if something happens…If she doesn't…You know." Alexis found herself unable to say the words.

"Please. I don't want to even think about that, Alexis."

"I know. But if something happens…I don't want you to do anything foolish, okay?"

"I won't do anything foolish, Pumpkin. Believe me." I won't do anything foolish. Castle thought. I'll do something illegal and homicidal, but nothing I do…If I have to do something, will be foolish.

"You should go to bed, Dad."

"And so should you. But I'm going to stay up for a little bit longer. You go to bed, okay?"

Alexis kissed her father's cheek and stood up. "Don't worry. Everything will be okay with you and Beckett. I have this feeling." She smiled at him and then went upstairs and to bed.

Castle went into his office. He pulled out his laptop and opened it. Then he reached into his desk and took a thumb drive from where it was taped to the back of the bottom drawer. He put it in the laptop. He watched as the familiar names from long ago appeared. It's like I've been preparing for this my whole adult life. In spite of how he felt, he smiled to himself. Beckett always teases me about my claiming to "Know a guy" no matter what. Well, I do. Most of them are perfectly legitimate. Want to know how to pick a lock? Any good locksmith can teach you the basics. You can go to any shooting range and guys will talk to you about anything you want to know about any weapon. But some guys aren't legitimate. They don't want their names known. They only talked to me on the basis of absolute secrecy. Everything I know about them is on this drive, all nicely encoded. Encoded by a twenty year old hacker that could teach the NSA a thing or two.

Castle scrolled through the names, remembering their special talents. There was the Turkish secret policeman. He told me all about how to torture people for a Derek Storm novel. He'd practiced on hundreds of Kurds and he told me that he could get a statue to confess its sins. If Ryan and Espo can find someone involved in this, he'll be useful. I'm going to want someone to confess their sins to me. And they will.

Hassan, the Palestinian bomb maker. He never would tell me why his own people turned on him. "A slight misunderstanding." was all he'd ever say. He designs high tech toys in Silicon Valley these days. What an odd turn of events.

Brigid O'Dwyer. The sudden outbreak of peace in Northern Ireland had left her at loose ends. If I ever need a drop dead gorgeous hit lady, I know who to call.

The words "drop dead gorgeous" suddenly reminded him of Beckett. He remembered the look of fear in her eyes as she lay there on the ground in the cemetery. He remembered the terror he'd felt as her heart stopped in the ambulance and how frantically Lanie had worked on her.

If Kate doesn't make it, I'll spend my whole life and every cent I have tracking down whoever is responsible.

He caught a name in the file and smiled in spite of himself. Harry Lind. Now that crazy bastard almost killed me. He said he could fly anything into and out of anywhere, from a hang glider to a 747. I didn't believe him, so he took be up and flew through New York City, between skyscrapers, at night. The FAA was after him for months.

"Richard? Are you still awake?"

Rick pulled the thumb drive out quickly. "Yeah. I'll be going to bed in a little bit, Mom. Don't worry."

Martha sat on the edge of his desk. "How can I not worry? You look terrible."

"I'll be okay." He lied.

"I heard you, Kiddo."

"I'm sorry. Did I wake you up?"

Martha shook her head. "Not that. I heard you talk to Alexis. Richard, everybody know you love Katherine."

"Except Beckett. If…When she's back, I doubt she'll want to hear about it."

Martha was shocked. "Why would you say such a thing? You may not realize it, and I'm sure she doesn't, but she loves you back."

He shrugged. "Maybe. But not now. I screwed up. I wanted her to drop this so badly I pushed too hard and she told me we were over. I should have backed off. I should have told her I'd be her partner no matter what. I should never have left her."

"Richard, you were right there by her when she was shot. You couldn't have done anything."

Castle realized that he had come close to telling Martha the truth about Roy Montgomery, something no one else could ever know. "You're right. I'm just feeling guilty."

"Go to bed, Richard. You can't do anything useful if you're too tired to think."

"Go ahead, Mom. I'll be up in a few minutes."

"You're sure?" Martha looked unconvinced.

"I promise." Martha leaned down and kissed her son. Then she looked at Rick and finally went off upstairs to bed.

Rick went back to his laptop and re-inserted the thumb drive. Tommy O'Connell and Kerri Bell, the best getaway driver/mechanic team in the business. They've never been caught.

Gustavo Reynoso. Knows the LA gang world like the back of his hand. If I can trust him.

Heinrich Strasser. Former East German Stasi, the secret police. Took what he learned and became a world class smuggler.

Castle shook his head. "I need to go to bed." He said to himself. If Beckett survives, she'll never agree to do anything illegal. So, we'll do it her way. If not…I'll do it my way.