149. Chapter 149

After The Human Factor

By

UCSBdad

Disclaimer: It would only be human to want to own Castle, but I don't. Rating: M Time: See above

Kate quickly followed Rick into the bathroom, stripped off her clothes and joined him in the shower. She closed her eyes and let her hands and then her lips explore his body. He soon followed suit, running his tongue over her boobs until her nipples were so hard that they actually ached. Then he dropped to his knees, working his way down her body until he got to her pubic hair. He blew lightly on her, then ran his tongue up and down. She spread her legs as far as she could and leaned back against the shower's wall, letting the hot water run down her body. She moaned and then screamed her release.

He stood and held her for long minutes. Then she kissed him, hard. She invaded his mouth with her tongue, exploring his mouth while her hands stroked his ass and then his erection. She began to kiss down his body, teasing him by stopping at his waist and going no further for a long time. Finally she gave in to his inarticulate pleas and took him into her mouth. He gently held her head, not forcing himself into her mouth, but making sure she stayed steady while kneeling on the shower's floor. She felt him explode into her mouth. She stood shakily and rested in his arms.

"We're going to need another shower after that." She teased.

He grabbed a washcloth. "Happy to oblige."

She grabbed a large sponge and smiled at him. "Me too."

Having cleaned each other very thoroughly, they toweled each other off and went straight to bed, not bothering with pajamas. By this time, both were fully aroused again. Their lovemaking was fierce and passionate, but very fulfilling. When it was over Kate spooned with Rick, her back pressed against his front.

I don't know if I can give this up. She thought. It's not the sex I'd miss, I know that. It's sex with a man I deeply love. It's sex with a man who loves me. It's having a man who loves me as much as I love him. Or is it? Castle says he loves me, but our relationship is going nowhere. I think it's going nowhere. Lanie told me that since I spent years pushing Castle away, it's only natural that he isn't going to take a chance with me. He'll go as slowly as he can to make sure I'm ready for this.

Dammit! I am ready for this. Kate thought about the years she had spent with Castle. I'm ready for whatever Rick Castle wants from me. I want more than anything for him to be my one and done. I want to be his wife. I want that more than anything. But if all he wants is a lover, a girlfriend, or anything else, I'll be there for him. I'll be whatever he wants.

But this is a chance of a lifetime! I'll be working on nothing but the most complex and meaningful cases in the whole country. I won't be investigating some junkie shooting a convenience store clerk and the standing around because he's too stoned to run.

I can look into the job. They may not have the slightest interest in me. It's just a possible job interview. If anything comes of it, I'll have plenty of time to talk to Castle.

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Rick wrapped his arms around Kate. This is what I want. A woman who'll always be there for me. Someone who'll be my wife, my lover, my best friend and my partner. Kate is perfect for me. But am I perfect for her? Okay, I'm egotistical. I have reason to be. I was a lonely, shy kid who got lucky as a writer and then got rich and famous as a writer. And, no small thanks to Kate, I'm a hell of a lot more. I will be able to look back on my life one day and be able to say that I did more than make an obscene amount of money, or that I always had the best toys. I made a difference in people's lives. I helped solve murders. I stopped murders from happening. And best of all, I made a difference in Detective Kate Beckett's life.

But what kind of difference will I make in the long run in Kate's life? I'm good for her, I know. But am I the right one for her? I know what she wants. She wants a one and done. She wants happily ever after. And I've got a lousy record for providing happily ever afters. Meredith was a mistake, I know that. Oh, was she ever a mistake. But at the time, I thought it was forever. Gina was a mistake. Even now I wonder why I ever thought that would work. I try to think back to when I married Gina and I ask myself what was I thinking when I asked her to marry me. Was I thinking at all? Probably not. Great! Rick Castle, the man who asks women to marry him while in a complete mental fog.

Kate's different. Kate is way different. What I feel for Kate is way different from anything I've felt before, even Kyra.

I know she wants her happy ending, but does she want it now? Next month? Next year? When? I have to figure out some way to let her know that I'm ready for whatever she's ready for, whenever she's ready. I do have trouble with words where Kate is concerned, but I can let her know how I feel without scaring her away, making her want to run, or make her feel like I'm pressuring her.

Okay. I can do this.

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Jared Stack sat in his seat on the plane taking him back to Washington, studying his laptop intently. I'm sure Beckett is exactly the person we need in the AG's task force. Everything I've found out about her says so. He frowned slightly. Almost everything. There's Castle. I accepted the idea that he was just a writer following her around for background on his books. It seemed reasonable that they had some sort of romantic attachment. Hardly unexpected, all things considered. But I hadn't accepted the story that Castle functioned as her partner. I was wrong on that. The mystery writer had turned out to be as much a partner as any I've ever seen. She'd have to give that partnership up, of course. The AG couldn't have some writer in the kind of investigations we do.

He thought about Detective Kate Beckett. That should be no problem. Her partner could just go back to being her boyfriend. Problem solved.