253. Chapter 253

After Still, Yet Again

By

UCSBdad

Disclaimer: I'll just stand here, not moving and say I don't own Castle. Rating: K Time: See above.

"Rick, I love you." She said with tears streaming down her face.

"I love you, too." He said, then turned and left.

After Castle had left, Kate shook her head slowly. What's wrong with the two of us? What's wrong with our relationship? We've been in love with each other for years and he couldn't tell me he loved me until I was lying on the ground, bleeding out. And when do I tell him that I love him? When I'm standing on a bomb facing eternity. What's wrong with us? She laughed to herself. What's wrong with us? Wrong question. What's wrong with me? Castle could hardly tell me he loved me over all the noise I was making about how much I hated him and Nikki Heat and his following me around. And then when I got to know him better, when I read Nikki, things changed. I realized he wasn't the empty headed playboy I'd thought he was. That's when my wall kicked in. I was determined that I would never let anyone get close to me emotionally again. It would just be too much pain when they left. So how much pain have I lived in without Castle? How many lonely nights have I spent when I could have been snuggled up with the man I love? How much time have I spent alone when I could have been with Castle?

One thing. I'll never be able to let Castle know how much I love him.

….

Rick woke up the next morning and slid quietly out of bed and tip-toed to his office. He had some ideas about the case and the bomb that he wanted to get down and not wake Kate. She needed her sleep. She'd had a very hard day.

He opened his laptop and found that his usual screensaver had been changed. Instead of You Should Be Writing, something else scrolled very slowly across the screen. R-I-C-K I L-O-V-E Y-O-U. He chuckled to himself and heard an answering chuckle. Standing in the office door was the love of his life, dressed in sleep shorts and a tee shirt.

"I really don't tell you that enough." She said.

"You don't have to. I've known for a long while."

She shook her head. "You're wrong. Even if you knew, there's no excuse for me waiting so long to tell you that I love you." She walked over and sat on his lap. "Rick, I love you." She kissed him again. "I should have told you that years ago, but I was afraid. I feel…"

"No!" He said quickly, putting his finger over her lips. "I know why you were the way you were and I know who's to blame. I hope that Bracken burns in hell for what he did to your mother, to you, to me, to us, to everyone. I never want to hear you say anything about being sorry, okay?"

She nodded. "Suppose I just say, Rick, I love you."

"Always?"

She grinned. "Always."

"I love you, too. Always."

…

"I love you, Mr. Castle."

"I love you, Mrs. Castle. And happy anniversary."

"A year. We've been married a whole year. I can't believe it. It seems…"

"Magical?" He suggested.

She looked at him skeptically, then smiled. "Okay, magical. I thought I'd stopped being happy when my mom died. For years I thought I'd never be as happy as I was when I was nineteen. But I was wrong. I'm happier now than I have ever been. Thank you, and, Rick, I love you."

"And let me thank you. You changed my life for the better and gave me more joy than I ever expected. Kate, I love you."

….

She woke up early and whispered in her husband's ear. "Rick, I love you."

"Huh?" He mumbled.

"Shh." She pointed to the crib sitting next to their bed. "We don't want to wake her."

He silently nodded and moved very carefully so that his lips were against hers. "I love you, Mommy."

She smiled hugely. She loved being called that. "I love you, too, Daddy."

"How long has she been asleep?" He whispered.

She lifted her head and checked the alarm clock. "Just over an hour. I fed her and she went right back to sleep. She should be good for another hour or two if she holds to her regular pattern."

"Sorry I couldn't help you, but paperwork and breastfeeding aren't my thing."

"You did all you needed to." She teased. "You have given me something I never thought I'd have. The unconditional love of the man I love unconditionally, and a loving family. I have what my parents had and what I always wanted. Thank you."

"No. Thank you."

Johanna Katherine Castle then decided to add her thoughts to the discussion.

"I love you." They said together, then laughed.

…...

"I love you, Daddy.' She said, sitting next to him on the couch.

"I know you do, Sweetie." He thought for a moment. "Any reason you chose to tell me this now?"

"I'd like to go to a party at Sam Borden's. It's this Saturday and everyone will be there."

Castle's forehead furrowed in thought. "Did you somehow add another four years and become sixteen suddenly? Otherwise you wouldn't be old enough to go to parties. And isn't Sam the one with the AK 47 tattooed on his arm?"

"Daddy!" She whined. "Everyone is going."

"No, Jo Castle won't be there. And I'll bet that Mom already told you that."

Jo leapt off the sofa and stomped away. "Why do you all hate me?" She screamed.

Kate stuck her head around the corner and smiled. "Rick, I love you."

He laughed. "I love you, too."

…..

"Captain and Mr. Castle, can you come over here, please." The police chief asked.

Rick and Kate joined him and the young lady who was standing beside him.

The chief smiled. "May I introduce you to Officer Johanna Castle? I have the honor of telling you that she is the top graduate of this academy class."

Kate threw her arms around her daughter, followed closely by Rick. "I'm so proud of you, Jo. I hope you make detective even faster than I did."

"I'll do my best, mom. And thank you for everything. Thanks to both of you. I love you both so much."

As they hugged, Kate told Jo that she loved her. Then she whispered to her husband. "Rick, I love you."

He nodded. "I love you, too."

….

Kate leaned heavily on her cane. As tears ran down her face, she said very clearly, "Rick, I love you. I love you."

The only response she got was from the words chiseled on the simple marble stone:

Here lies all that will ever die of Richard Edgar Castle.

"Gran?" Said the young woman next to her. "He's gone. He can't answer."

"He's not gone. He's with me and he's with your mom and he's with you. He's with all of us and he always will be. Haven't I told you before? If you don't believe in magic, you'll never find it."

The two women turned from the grave and walked into the rising sun.