272. Chapter 272

After Room 147

By

UCSBdad

Disclaimer: I've got 147 reasons I don't own Castle. Rating: K Time: See above.

Author's note: Usually, my After…stories have some connection, admittedly sometimes vague, with the episode in question. This one really doesn't. But this idea got stuck in my head. I could have written this as a stand-alone, but I didn't. If anyone wants to write a better After Room 147, be my guest.

Another author's note: This is a little late as my internet connection died a horrible death last night and then just as mysteriously came back to life a while ago. Castle would have a great explanation for that.

Castle walked out of the bedroom and went to the kitchen island where Kate was sitting, drinking her coffee and reading the Ledger. He slid ahis arms around her slim waist and kissed the top of her head. "Anything of any interest in the paper?"

Kate quickly put the paper down and folded over the page she had been reading. "No, not really."

"What were you reading then?" He asked, curious.

"Just a news item. Nothing important."

Castle went to the coffee maker and got a cup for himself. "Kate, I know nothing important. He shows up along with his little buddies, "I'm fine." and "Nothing's wrong." So, what were you reading?"

Kate sighed. "There an item in the paper about a certain cardiac surgeon we know."

"Hopefully he got hit by an iceberg in mid-Atlantic and sank without a trace?" Castle said, frowning.

"Are you still jealous? After everything?"

"Jealous?" Castle looked into the middle distance with a far-away look in his eyes. "That's so weak a word. Could we use raving, lunatic, homicidal, maniacal rage?"

Kate giggled, which did not make Rick feel any better. "I've told you before that Josh was massively jealous of you because I spent far more time with a certain ruggedly handsome, best-selling author and crack detective than I was with him."

"Josh? Must you call him Josh?"

Kate rolled her eyes. "Fine. How about my least favorite doctor since the dentist who drooled on me when I was seven?"

"Can't you do better…."

"No." Kate said sharply.

"So how did he make the news?" Castle decided that changing the subject was a good move.

"He was working with Doctors Without Borders in the eastern Congo. There was a big battle between UN peacekeepers and local rebels. He saved a lot of lives. He was in New York to get a medal from the UN."

"Oh." Castle was disappointed and it showed.

Kate leaned over and kissed him. "However, he only saved my life once, unlike my fiancé who saved my life too many times to count." She kissed him again.

"I did keep count, you know."

She kissed him again. "Quit while you're ahead." She whispered.

"Quitting while ahead." But Castle noticed that she now was the one looking into the middle distance with a far-away look in her eyes. "Um, something you want to talk about?"

She started to shake her head, then nodded vigorously. "One of our problems was that we didn't talk to each other about important things. Thinking about…that doctor reminded me of something important that happened while I was with him."

"Do I really want to hear this?" Rick had a pained look on his face.

"Yes. I think it's important. I know we've talked about this in bits and pieces over the last year or so, but I want to tell you all about what I felt about you. Okay?"

He nodded.

"Let's start with Demming. "

"My heart soars like an eagle." Castle said, sarcastically.

"Before I met you I had no life outside of work. After I met you, I started to want fun. I knew that you would just end up breaking my heart and Demming was fun. I went with him."

"Kate, I'd never…" He began.

"You did. Gina? Remember?"

"That was the stupidest thing I ever did. I was married to Gina, I knew what I was getting into, but you were with Demming and I wanted…"

"What I wanted. To not be alone. Rick, I'm not trying to make you feel bad. I know we both feel bad about that, I just want you to know that's the first time I thought there might be an us. For that brief period before Gina walked in."

"Too bad it didn't last longer."

"But you came back to me, or at least my team. But I was with Josh and you were with Gina. I really thought for a while that maybe we'd both find what we were looking for."

"Really?" He asked, more than a little shocked. "You seriously thought Gina and I would…"

"I hardly know Gina. So maybe I was just hoping you'd be happy. We'd both be happy. But then I heard you break up with her on the phone. I almost said something to you."

"What?"

"I don't really know. Maybe suggest that maybe we could try something. But I was with Josh and I still hoped everything would work out for me. And then you kissed me. Twice."

Castle smiled broadly at the memory. "Yeah!" He said softly.

"And then you said that it was amazing, and then you ruined it by telling me you were talking about how I took out that goon."

"I can't do anything right, can I?"

She smiled. "I remember last night. You were amazing."

"I was, wasn't I?" He quickly added. "So were you."

"And you have no idea how close you came to being dragged off to my car and getting seriously assaulted by a police detective. I thought about that kiss for a long time. But I convinced myself that, of course, Rick Castle would be a great kisser. Look at all the practice he's had."

"I never kissed anyone remotely as good as you, Kate."

"And we finally get to the part that I started this little trip down memory lane with. Do you remember the day you defused the dirty bomb?" He nodded. "I was standing there, holding your hand, about to die and I decided that if you were going to die, at least I'd be dead, too and wouldn't have to spend the rest of my life missing you. And then you defused the bomb."

"I couldn't possibly let the woman I love die, could I?"

"You could have told me. Which reminds me, there in the precinct, what were you about to tell me?"

"I wanted to ask you to go have dinner or drinks or something with me so I could tell you that I wanted more, and that unless you were sure that Doctor Motorcycle Boy was you one and done, he had a fight on his hands for the remarkable Kate Beckett."

She nodded. "If Josh were only a few seconds slower."

"If Gina were only a few seconds slower."

"If only we were years faster in talking to each other." Kate teased. "But as Josh was holding me, I was watching you leave. When you got in the elevator, I don't know, maybe you thought I wasn't watching, but I could see your expression and I knew I had just broken your heart. And that's when the seed of an idea took root in my mind, that if we could break each other's hearts, there was more to us than I had imagined. I was stubborn, and I stayed with Josh, but it was never the same with us after that day. Then I got shot and I did a very stupid thing…"

He put his hand over her lips. "You're talking about the woman I love. Let's not be calling her names."

Kate put her arms around his neck, pulled him close and kissed him. "I suppose it's a miracle we ever got together at all."

"The universe would never have allowed us not to get together."

"Really?" She said with a smile.

"Really."

"I guess you're right." She leaned towards him again, opening her mouth slightly.

Then her phone rang.

"Are you sure about the universe, Castle?"