288. Chapter 288

After Nanny McDead

Episode 1.02

By

UCSBdad

Disclaimer: I do not need to write Castle fanfics! I don't even own them or Castle! Rating: K Time: See above.

Author's note: ksatan624 suggested that I put in the number of the episode so that people who do not see Castle in English can tell the ep it refers to as the titles do not always directly translate from the English.

"I like women." Richard Castle announced to his family.

His mother looked up from her magazine and took another sip of wine before replying. "Speaking both as your mother and as a woman, I'm glad to hear that."

Alexis sighed. "Is this the sort of conversation that will leave me wanting to scrub my brain with bleach, or should I just go to my room now and turn up the music very loud?"

"Neither." Castle said. "I'm making a very important philosophical point here."

"Oh." Martha said, going back to her magazine.

Alexis said nothing and went back to her homework.

"Aren't you two at all interested?" Castle said, somewhat perturbed by the lack of interest.

"We did have that talk, Dad. I know why boys and girls like each other. Although, you could have made it much shorter and clearer. If this is going into your new book, I'd be happy to edit for you."

Castle sighed. "Allow me to continue."

"As if we've ever been able to stop you." Martha muttered, pouring more wine.

"I like women. And I think they like me. Some for my wit and charm, some, the more mercenary sort, for my wealth and fame. And I try to treat them in a gentlemanly way. But, in the Sara Manning murder case, there were no gentlemen."

Castle cleared his throat and smiled at his, more or less, captive audience. "Item one: Ian Harris. Hereinafter referred to as people's sleazeball number one. He slept with both Sara Manning and Chloe Richardson. He certainly told Chloe that he loved her and would leave his wife for her. Did he tell the same to Sara? Ladies and gentle…That is, ladies of the jury, I submit to you that he did and, that Sara believed him. For when Chloe went to Sara to beg Sara to let her have Ian, Sara said no and Chloe hit her and killed her."

Alexis was trying to slip away up the stairs in the middle of Rick's oration, but he glared at her and she sat back down. Martha just drank more wine.

Rick continued. "We must also consider the case of Diana Harris, Ian's wife. She will doubtlessly be divorcing Ian and, if we believe statistics, she will suffer economically from the divorce. Most women do. We can't be sure of course. Ian's a musician, and they tend to be either among the super rich, or just getting by."

"And what of Ian, you may ask?"

"Or not ask?" Martha asked, hopefully.

"Ian got a rather superficial cut on the head. Probably his least vulnerable spot. He will also be divorced and probably be telling other young and impressionable young women that he truly loves them. Young women being what they often are, some will believe him. To their cost. He may or may not suffer economically from the divorce."

"Then, although we do not know the sex, there is Ian and Chloe's baby. Ian, I think we can safely say, couldn't care less and Chloe will be in prison. One more victim."

"And who do we come to next?" Castle asked rhetorically.

"The end?" Martha asked hopefully.

"That's a what, not a who, Mother."

"Isn't who on first?" Alexis asked.

"I'm a straight man in a world of comedians." Castle said, sighing dramatically.

"We've known you were straight for a long time, darling. The items on Page Six were a dead giveaway." Martha high fived with Alexis.

"We now come to Howard Peterson, who shall be marked as people's slimeball number two. He also used Sara, not in a sexual manner, agreed, but to cover his liaison with a woman at work. Did Sara flee to Ian's embrace to try to avoid the tawdry stench of Howard's illicit romance?"

"The tawdry stench of an illicit romance? Oh, you should write that one down, Richard. It has possibilities."

"I already did, Mother." Castle said with a superior smile. "Howard will also be getting a divorce. I doubt that either party will suffer much, but I think his wife Claudia will carry more emotional baggage than Howard. And we can't forget Howard's paramour. Doubtlessly, she'll be cast aside by Howard, for such are the ways of uncaring men."

"So, to recapitulate, the two men who strayed will suffer the least and the women involved will suffer more. Especially Sara, as she's dead."

"And where does that leave us?" Castle looked around expectantly.

"At the end?" Alexis said, hoping against hope that she was right.

"This leads us, of course, to Detective Kate Beckett."

"How did I know that somehow all of this would lead us to the attractive detective?" Martha asked with heavy sarcasm.

Castle ignored her. "I already know that Beckett shouldn't be a cop. That's not her style at all. Something or someone deflected her from her chosen course. Something, or someone, who hurt her. But, we already know that about Beckett."

"Yes, we do." Martha said brightly. "And so to bed."

Castle shook his head. "Ah! But she shouldn't be such an unhappy cop. When she talked Chloe out of hurting herself in the laundry room she identified with Chloe. Someone broke Beckett's heart and her heart has never recovered. I need to find out what happened."

"For the story of Nikki Heat?" Martha asked.

"Partly. And also for Beckett. She's still broken and needs to be fixed. When I find out the who, and the where, and the when, and why, I can begin making Beckett whole."

"And we can't imagine anyone better suited to fixing some woman's broken heart than someone who has broken so many himself, can we Alexis?"

Rick shrugged as the two women in his life made themselves scarce. Okay. So I sound like a conceited ass, planning to fix Beckett. But Beckett deserves so much more than the pain I see in her. There's no reason I can't bring a little fun into her life.

….

Kate Beckett picked up Storm Fall from where she had left it on her bedside table. I like this Richard Castle a lot better than the one who follows me around and pesters me all day. But, to give the devil his due, Castle was a help on this case, which did surprise me. I thought he only was useful in the Tisdale murder because he knew the background from his books so well. But in this case, he had some surprisingly useful insights. Checking out the tenants, for one. Calling Sara's phone in Ian's apartment. But then he had to stick his stupid nose into the laundry room where I was trying to keep Chloe from doing something stupid. Why can't he just let me do my job? Why does he have to think he's…Derrick Storm?

Kate stopped and thought. Is that it? Some sort of mid-life crisis? Perhaps stealing police horses isn't enough for him any more? Is that it? Oh, who the hell knows what goes on inside his head anyway? If anything.

Kate opened the book to the page she had been reading. At least he'll be gone soon and I can go back to enjoying this Richard Castle.