331. Chapter 331

After Almost Famous

Episode 3.07

By

UCSBdad

Disclaimer: I'm not famous for not owning Castle. Double negative? Wait…Oh, forget it. You know what I mean. Rating: K Time: See above.

Captain Gates gathered her detectives around the murder board. "People, we let Theresa Rose get away because we thought she was a grieving widow and not a cold blooded murderer." Gates tapped the photo of an attractive dark haired woman on the murder board. "Since then she's married and murdered three other men in three other states. We have evidence that she's now back in New York and we have an idea of where she might be going in the next few nights. This time, people, we are not going to let her get away. Is that clear?" There were murmurs of assent from the detectives. "Any questions?"

Detective Javier Esposito raised his hand. "I think we could consider Ryan for the undercover job. He was under with the Irish mob in Staten Island and …." He stopped when he saw Gates' glare.

Victoria Gates was not used to having her decisions second guessed, or argued with. "Our sources indicate that while Rose likes older millionaires for her scores, she prefers the tall, dark and handsome type for fun. Do you think that Detective Ryan meets all of those requirements, Detective?"

"No, but Castle does. He fits them much better than I do." Espo smiled encouragingly at Castle, who looked away.

"Detective Esposito, Detective Beckett interviewed Rose after the first murder. She's the only NYPD officer that's seen her. Normally, I would never consider sending Detective Beckett into the field in the condition she's in. And I have given her explicit orders that she is, under no circumstances, to endanger her baby. And, knowing Beckett's….dedication to the job, I've ordered Mr. Castle to go with her and physically prevent her from doing anything stupid, even if he has to throw her to the ground and get on top of her."

"That's how I got her like this, sir." Castle said, stroking his wife's very rounded stomach.

Kate blushed. "And if you ever want to throw me to the ground and get on top of me again…"She left the remainder of the threat unsaid.

Gates looked away from Esposito. "Is the rest of the bachelorette party ready?"

Tori Ellis, wearing a wedding veil, a fake engagement ring courtesy of Martha Rodgers, and a red sash with "Bride" on it, nodded enthusiastically. "All ready, sir."

Detectives Karpowski, Hastings and Beckett nodded. "Ready, sir." They said. All were wearing sashes that said, "Bridesmaid."

Gates turned to Castle. "Mr. Castle, your wife is far enough along that no one will question you being with her at a bachelorette party. And, if anything happens to your wife, if she so much as burps too loudly, get her out of there at once."

"Sir, I'm not due for another two weeks." Kate complained.

"Child birth is not yet an exact science, Detective. You heard my orders to your husband. They're my orders to you as well. Understood?"

"Yes, sir."

"Now, there will be other undercover policewomen there and a male police officer acting as a bouncer. So, don't take any chances." Gates finished and sent them on their way.

As they headed for the elevator, Espo grumped to Castle.

"You're a lot of help, bro."

Castle held up his phone. "I'm helping. I'm going to take pictures of your debut at the Male Drop."

Espo grabbed for the phone, but Castle was too quick.

"It won't do you any good, Espo." Kate said. "We all have cell phones and if you took them away, how could we call for help if something went wrong?"

"Besides, Big Boy, "Karpowski said, sliding a hand over his chest. "This is a bachelorette party. We have to give Tory a good send off."

"She isn't marrying anyone." Espo said through gritted teeth.

"Good undercover work means living your cover identity." Hastings said primly. "We expect great things from you."

Espo blushed and the women dissolved in laughter.

Castle sat at a small table jammed between Kate and Ann Hastings. "The Male Drop got us a good table. If Theresa Rose does actually like to come here, we should see her easily."

Kate leaned over to whisper in his ear. "Gates threated to have the Fire Marshals, the Health Inspectors and the Liquor Control Board in here searching with a fine tooth comb for violations. That's why they cooperated."

"It's good to see citizens cooperating with the police." Castle said with a smile.

Before anyone else could say anything, the music began.

"Young man, there's no need to feel down."I said, young man, pick yourself off the ground."I said, young man, 'cause you're in a new town"There's no need to be unhappy.

"Young man, there's a place you can go."I said, young man, when you're short on your dough."You can stay there, and I'm sure you will find"Many ways to have a good time.

"It's fun to stay at the Y.M.C.A."It's fun to stay at the Y.M.C.A."

"There's Espo." Karpowski said, pointing. "There on the end."

"He looks stiff, and not in a good way." Hastings said.

"Oh! He missed a step." Kate said.

"He's not smiling at all." Ellis said, shaking her head.

"He's still got women shoving bills down his shorts. "Castle said. "That's what you want." Castle looked quickly at Kate and added. "If you're an undercover cop. Undercover as a male stripper, that is. That's not what I'd want, of course."

Kate leaned in and whispered in his ear. "So if I offered to do that later tonight, you'd turn me down?"

"Never." He smiled.

After the first dance set, the strippers came out to mingle with customers. Espo headed straight for the table his friends were at and sat down. "This is humiliating." He said, grabbing one of the nonalcoholic drinks that Male Drop had provided for the police. "This woman old enough to be my nana pinched me."

"I don't know why." Ellis said. "Do you actually call that dancing? You were a half a beat behind the music the whole time. And you should throw your clothes to the audience, joyously."

Karpowski nodded. "You need to smile. Or at least not glare at everyone. And for god's sakes, wiggle a bit."

"And more time in the gym wouldn't hurt you." Hastings added. "Love handles are such a turn off for me. You have real six pack abs. Made out of real six packs unfortunately."

"I think for an amateur with no dancing skills, you did just fine, Espo." Kate said. "And you can't use PEDs and exercise every day like the dancers here." She said, damning with faint praise.

"I got some great shots, Javi." Castle held up his phone. "We can all critique them and help you for the rest of your time here." The women all gathered around the phone to see.

"Gimme those!" Espo yelled, but the women kept him away.

"Can I join you?" Said a strange woman. "You are such a cutie pie." She said, smiling at Espo.

"Actually, I'm with them and I can't …"Espo began.

"We'd love for you to join us." Ellis said, jumping up and grabbing another chair for herself. "You can sit right down next to Javier here. And he is such a sweetie."

"You are such a lovely bride. My name is Alice by the way." She pinched Espo on his thigh. To describe Alice as being on the far side of forty was generous. She was dressed in clothes that would have suited a woman less than half her age and wore too much makeup and too much jewelry. She did seem to have an awful lot of one dollar bills, though.

Everyone introduced themselves.

Hastings held up her left hand to show her own engagement ring. "Actually, we're all spoken for, one way or another, so Javier is all yours."

Javi kept trying to ignore Alice until Karpowski kicked him under the table. "You know, Alice, Javi here is such a character." She accented the word character to remind Espo to stay in character.

"He's really rather shy." Ellis said with a wicked smile. "He's much more personable in private. Why don't I give you his cell phone number?"

Epso tried to stop her, but with Kate glaring at him and Hastings telling Alice what a sweetie pie Javi really was, Espo resigned himself. He was thrilled when the music started up again.

The night ended with no sign of Theresa Rose and the detectives went back to the precinct to report to Captain Gates.

When they were done, Gates looked at Esposito. "I had several calls tonight from the other female officers there. They had a low opinion of your skills as a stripper, Detective Esposito. And your general physical condition. I've taken the liberty of calling in Sergeant Miller. After working as a patrol sergeant, she's a drill instructor at the academy." Gates pointed to a woman standing outside her office, who was glaring at Esposito. She was a blonde, with short hair and over six feet tall. Miller was built like a linebacker and her sleeveless T shirt showed off her bulging muscles.

"You should go see Sergeant Miller now, Detective. I believe she said something about wanting you in the precinct work out room at 0600 hours tomorrow."

Epso left with a look of horror on his face.

"I'm sure Espo will do a much better job tomorrow, sir." Kate said.

"He won't. " Gates snapped.

"Sir, I know Esposito and he…" Kate began.

"Won't be headed back to the Male Drop tomorrow night. We arrested Theresa Rose about an hour ago. She ran a red light. Routine traffic stop, but they got her."

Kate looked at Captain Gates. Finally she said, "Sir, you are evil."

Gates smiled. "And don't you ever forget it, Beckett."