472. Chapter 472

After Anatomy of a Murder

Episode 3.05

By

UCSBdad

Disclaimer: I'll make you an offer you can't refuse. I won't own Castle. Rating: K Time: See above.

Cali Heat

By

Richard Castle

Captain Nikki Heat walked through the streets of Cali, Columbia, once cocaine central for the Western Hemisphere, but now just a Third World backwater. Not to say there were not dangerous men, and women, in Cali. Nikki should know, she was one of the dangerous women. And Nikki was never so dangerous as when she went rogue.

Her eyes strayed to the ruggedly handsome man walking beside her, Jameson Rook, her fiancé. I could have lost him. She thought. Lucky for me that I didn't and even luckier, he'll soon be my husband.

Jameson Rook looked over at her and smiled. "Are you sure you know where this bar is, Nikki?"

She nodded. "One more block and we'll be at the Yanqui Imperialismo, the most notorious bar in all of Columbia."

Indeed, in another block, Nikki and Rook walked into the bar, saw a familiar face and got an unpleasant surprise, all at the same time.

"Detective Schlemming. What are you doing here?" Nikki asked.

Schlemming smiled coldly at the two. He had long lusted after Heat, only to have his crude advances scorned by the beautiful detective, for Nikki Heat loved only Jameson Rook. What's wrong with, "Hey Baby! Wanna get naked?" Schlemming thought. It worked on all those other girls. Perhaps Schlemming had forgotten the hundred dollar bills he had waved at those other girls, in addition to a much smaller object he had waved.

"The call me Senor Schlemming down here, or they use my Spanish nickname, El Payaso. I'm not sure, but I think it means something like The Bull. And I'm Tomas Duarte's right hand man, so you'd better be nice to me, Heat."

Nikki chuckled. "Really? To begin with, El Payaso means the clown in Spanish. And everyone tells us that you're not Tomas Duarte, AKA El Sinverguenza's, right hand man. You use your right hand when you follow after his dogs and pick up after them. Now, take us to your boss and be quick about it."

Schlemming ground his teeth together. As much as he hated it, he was powerless in the face of Nikki's demands. He rose slowly from the table. "Come with me, but first you must see Mr. Vain."

Mr. Vain? Nikki thought. The legendary money man who had insured that all of El Sinverguenza's ill- gotten gains had remained beyond the reach of the law. If only….She thought. But she was on a mission. No, she looked at her partner. They were on a mission. "Okay, Clown, lead on."

As Schlemming sobbed miserably, he led them to a large compound on the outskirts of town. There, sitting on a stack of money was the legendary Mr. Vain.

"That's how you kept all of El Sinverguenza's money?" Rook said. "You just sat on it."

Vain shrugged. "It worked. Governments around the world have been looking for his money in Switzerland, the Cayman Islands, Panama and the Bermuda Triangle. But it's been right here. Pretty sweet." Vain leered at Nikki and leaned in to kiss her. Then Nikki kindly helped him pick his teeth up off the floor.

Jameson Rook managed to keep a straight face as he listened to Vain whistle through his teeth, not so much because the love of his life had once again proved that he was the only man for her, just as she was the only woman for him, but because he had seen a rat dashing off with a roll of US hundred dollar bills in his mouth. One day Mr. Vain would learn not to sit on his boss's money.

Having gotten past Mr. Vain, Schlemming led Nikki and Rook to the next man up the chain of command, a legendary gangster known only as Big Willy. Exactly why he was known as Big Willy was unknown, as all the intel Nikki had gathered indicated his willy was quite small.

Playing a hunch, Nikki asked Willy a question. "So, where did you leave your car?"

Without thinking, Willy replied, "I pahked my cah in Hahvahd yahd and went into the bah."

Nikki nodded knowingly. "I thought I recognized you. You've come a long way from playing first base in the 1986 World Series. So, you had cosmetic surgery and went to work for the Feds before fleeing here."

"Mother of Mercy, is this the end of Rico?" Willy said, confusingly.

Nikki shook her head. "Don't worry. I'm a huge Mets fan. But, you might want to pass us along to El Sinverguenza, The Shameless One, before I change my mind."

Nikki and Rook were sent to the last minion before they met with El Sinverguenza himself, a busty blonde flight attendant known only by the name Immediate Occupancy.

"Senor Rook, I have long enjoyed the romances you write under the pen name of Victoria St. Clair. Could I impose upon you to rip my bodice?" She then shoved her barely covered boobs at Rook's face.

Rook glanced over at the incomparable Nikki Heat and laughed at Immediate Occupancy. "The work you had done is very good, but you're not in the same league as Nikki Heat. And you know that, don't you, Colin."

IO recoiled in fear. "You know? About the operation?"

Rook shrugged modestly. "I am an investigative journalist, after all."

"Isn't there something I can do for you?" She begged.

Rook quoted a bit of doggerel he'd heard while rescuing orphans in the Middle East. Or was it political prisoners in North Africa? It was so hard to keep all of his adventures straight.

"You cannot hope to bribe of twist,

"Thank God a Yankee Journalist,

"But seeing what the man will do,

"Unbribed, there's no occasion to."

He smiled coldly at IO. "Now take us to El Sinverguenza."

Finally, they were in the presence of the reviled, hated and feared former drug lord. "So, the famous Jameson Rook and Nikki Fuego have come calling. What do you wish?"

"The man behind you, Josh Davidson. His so-called charity work in the Third World is nothing but a front. He's been selling weapons to anyone who'd pay for years. And he must pay for his crimes."

El Sinverguenza laughed. "Doctor Davidson? He is my personal physician. No, more than my personal physician, he is my savior, my miracle worker, my guardian angel. I cannot let him leave."

"Perhaps I should tell you that Mister Davidson never graduated from high school, let alone medical school. His diploma was bought on line. And as for his treatments of you, he's been giving you massive doses of Viagra. Haven't you noticed that you used to be five feet, four inches tall and now you're over seven feet? Check his medical bag and see, if you don't believe me."

Davidson screamed and ran for the door, but was soon brought back by three of El Sinverguenza's henchmen, Huey, Louie and Dewey.

Soon Davidson was on his way back to the US to pay for his crimes.

Kate moved from behind Rick, where she had been reading over his should unbeknownst to him and slid onto his lap. "You were really jealous of Josh, weren't you?"

"Of course I was. I was in love with you, after all. I was jealous of all of them."

She kissed his cheek. "If it makes you feel any better, I was in love with you, too. I was just too afraid of love. And I was massively jealous of Ellie Monroe, Gina and Jacinda." Kate blushed. "And of every other woman you'd ever been with."

"As I was jealous of every man you'd ever been with."

"I did try, you know. But not hard enough, I guess. Remember the book launch party for Heat Wave? I bought a sexy new dress, got my hair done and put on make-up just so you'd notice me."

"I did notice you, but I started some stupid fight with you."

"We started a fight with each other." Kate corrected.

"Like you said, nothing's ever been easy with us."

Kate nodded. "Things have always been hard." Her hand slid to his crotch. "Speaking of hard…"

"I thought you'd never ask."

"But what about Cali Heat?" She said as they walked to their bedroom.

"I'm going to delete it. I'm not jealous of Josh anymore. I have you and he has Africa."

"He'll always have Africa." Kate teased.