524. Chapter 524

After Secret Santa

Episode 5.09

By

UCSBdad

Disclaimer: I don't own Castle, but Charles Dickens is in the public domain. Rating: K Time: See above.

"We're leaving now, Captain." Rick Cratchit said.

Captain Kate Scrooge looked up from the paperwork she was doing and frowned. "Already? Why the rush?"

"It is Christmas Eve, sir." Rick said.

"Bah humbug!" Captain Scrooge snarled. "Just an excuse to get out of work and be frivolous."

"Some of us are going to Ye Olde Haunt for some Christmas cheer. You're welcome to join us."

Captain Scrooge glared at Cratchit. "Bah humbug. Oh, be off with you. I have paperwork to do."

"Merry Christmas, sir." Cratchit said. Captain Scrooge made no reply.

As soon as they were in the elevator, Rick and his two detective friends high fived each other. "And we're away from her. We won't have to see Captain Scrooge until the day after tomorrow."

While Rick agreed with his friends that Captain Scrooge was not the most pleasant person to be around, he found that he felt sorry for her and wished that she had come to Ye Olde Haunt for a little Christmas cheer.

Captain Scrooge worked far into the night doing paperwork. Suddenly, she heard a sound in the empty bullpen. She stood up and looked around, but there was no one around. No, there it was again. It sounded like someone dragging chains around.

"Who's there?" She demanded.

She heard a chuckle from behind her. "You don't remember me, Kate?"

She whirled around and saw a ghost. "Roy? Roy Marley? Is that you?"

He nodded. "That's me."

"What was that clanking I heard, Roy?"

"My chain." He tapped a delicate chain that was attached to a pocket watch. "I forged it link by link."

"I don't understand." Captain Scrooge said.

"We all have to carry around chains representing the sins we committed in life."

"You kidnapped mobsters, killed a Fed, and got Bracken elected to the Senate, and that's your chain?"

"It turns out the afterlife is like any other huge bureaucracy. I got mistaken for some Caribbean singer and, well, as it turns out, you can take it with you. You should see my boat, a big ass seventy footer with two fishing rods hanging off…" Roy stopped. "But that's not why I'm here, Kate. The Big Guy has asked me to give you a little review of your life and what you have coming. They'll be around later tonight."

"Who'll be around later…?" Kate began, but Roy was gone.

"It's from lack of sleep." Kate muttered. "I'll go home and get some shut eye."

Meanwhile, at the Cratchit household, Rick was getting ready for Christmas. The celebration wouldn't be what he would have liked, but as an assistant supernumerary, provisional, acting, temporary homicide detective, his salary wasn't enough to splurge on a fancy Christmas.

His mother Martha, a street performer, came into the house. "Look what I got, kiddo." She held up a can. "We have a can of Spam. With the Ramen noodles you scored yesterday and Alexis's mac and cheese, we're going to feast like never before."

Rick smiled sadly. "I just wish we could afford a real Christmas feast. You, know. That big bird? What's its name again?"

"A turkey, dear. We had a turkey sandwich for Christmas when you were nine, remember?"

Alexis came through the door, clutching something in her hand. "Look at what I got you, Daddy and Grams. A hat!" Alexis held up a rather battered top hat. "Some fat albino, or something, ran past me and this fell off. You can wear it on alternate days." Alexis said proudly.

Rick and Kate felt the tears start in their eyes. Their Alexis was so sweet. "We chipped in and got you something too." Rick said, holding out a package wrapped in page from the comic section of the Ledger.

"Oh! Daddy! Grams! A new shoelace! It's perfect and I've been needing one for the longest time. Now if I could just get another shoe."

Rick knew that even if they didn't have all of the material things other people had, the family had each other. He hugged his mother and his daughter.

Back in her spacious loft, Captain Kate Scrooge got ready for bed. Just as she snuggled into her warm bed and closed her eyes, she felt a cold breeze blow through her bedroom. She sat up and saw another ghost. "Mike? Mike Royce? Is that you?"

"Up and at 'em, kid. We gotta be going. I'm the ghost of Christmas past."

In an instant, Kate found herself in front of one of her friend's from high school's home. She approached a car parked in the driveway and heard heavy breathing. Looking inside, she saw a blonde girl making love to a young man.

"Maddie! That bitch is screwing my boyfriend! She said she was saving herself for marriage, too."

"Not why we're here, kid." Royce said gruffly.

Instantly, they were inside the house and Captain Kate Scrooge recognized her younger self, Rebel K-Scroo, dressed all in black, puffing on a cigarette and drinking wine from the cardboard container.

She listened to herself. "My parents want me to go to Stanford and do the lawyer thing, but I've decided to go to the University of California, Santa Barbara and party. You know what UCSB stands for, right?"

The other girls shook their heads.

"U Can Study Buzzed." Kate said, laughing.

"See, kid. You used to be fun and uncomplicated. Not like you are now."

She turned to argue with Mike, but he was gone and she was back in her bedroom. She shook her head. "It was just a dream."

She went back to sleep, but was woken by another blast of cold air. "Come on, Scrooge. Get up!"

"Captain Sir Gates?" Kate said, shocked.

"No, I'm the freaking tooth fairy. Don't you get how this works yet? I'm the ghost of Christmas present."

Kate found herself in Ye Olde Haunt. There before her were Detectives Ryan and Esposito, snoring peacefully in front of a superb collection of empty beer bottles. "Oops!" Sir Gates said. "They haven't worked all of the bugs out of the TPS yet, I'm afraid."

"TPS?" Kate asked.

"Time Positioning System." Gates replied.

Then in a flash, they were in Rick Cratchit's humble abode, an old packing crate near a land fill in New Jersey. The Cratchit family was sitting around happily eating their Christmas dinner and examining the two presents they got.

"They look happy." Kate said.

"This won't last. In the current housing market in the Tri-State area, this packing crate is considered prime real estate. The rent on it is going to quadruple and Rick won't be able to afford the rent."

"That's terrible." Kate said.

"It could be worse. In San Francisco, these same packing crates are being made up into four unit condos. Of course, it will get worse. Martha hasn't had street performers' business license for decades. She'll get arrested and to pay the fines, she'll have to get a job as a secretary. That will finally crush her spirit. And Alexis' fate is even sadder. She'll get a Ph.D. in Art History and spend the rest of her life asking, "Would you like fries with that?" Of course Rick will carry on. He always does."

"No, we can't allow…" But Kate was back in her bedroom, alone.

She tried to stay awake, to avoid the next ghost, but to no avail.

"Katie, dear. Time to see your future."

"Mom? Is that you?"

"Of course. Come on. Katie. You need to see this."

Kate found herself in her spacious loft, but the sun was shining through the windows and an old lady was sitting in a comfortable chair, surrounded by cats.

"Cats?" Kate asked.

"They're the only friends you have now."

Kate looked at the frail old woman. She was speaking. "Will! Stay away from Lanie! She doesn't like you. And Eric, quit stealing all of the kitty toys and hiding them in your litter box. Tom will catch you and make you give them back." A small kitten jumped up on the old lady's lap and purred. "Oh, Rick. My favorite cat. Of all the four hundred and seventeen cats I have, you're my favorite Rick. You've always loved me."

Kate began to cry. "No!"

She sat up in bed and said clearly, "No!"

"Kate? What is it?" Her husband asked.

Kate took a deep breath. "I just had a nightmare. I'm okay now."

"Are you sure?" He put his arms around her and held her close. "What was the nightmare about?"

"I'll tell you later. But, Rick. Could we get a…dog?"

Author's note. The Princeton Review's annual list of top party schools for 2015-2016 placed UC Santa Barbara in the top ten at number six. That's good, but we know the Gauchos can do better.