535. Chapter 535

After The Fast and the Furriest

Episode 5.20

By

UCSBdad

Disclaimer: It's probably a good thing I don't own Castle. I mean, five hundred plus episodes, all under two thousand words? Rating: K Time: See above.

Kate had decided early on that she had no idea how Captain Montgomery and Captain Gates had managed to run a precinct. She had been at it for two months and she was buried in paperwork. Right then, she was trying to read a new directive on sexual harassment that was couched in impenetrable legalese in her e-mail, making notes for a briefing she had to give later in the week at One PP, and had been on hold for fifteen minutes with the office of some bureaucrat in the Department of Finance who obviously felt he was far more important that some police captain, and who also had execrable taste in music from the third rate elevator music that was playing while she was on hold.

She vaguely noticed someone come into her office and drop a piece of paper on her desk. She quickly scanned it. "Welcome to the 12th Precinct, Officer Yeti and…NO!" She screamed. "You cut me off! Do not cut me off!" She began redialing with such force that she knocked her coffee over, which spilled on her page of handwritten notes. "Dammit!" She muttered. "No, not you. I was on hold for Mr. Lewis in Finance and I was cut off. Yes, thank you…No! Don't put me on hold I was…" But all she heard on the other end was more elevator music.

She scribbled her name at the bottom of the form the new officer had given her and tossed it back to him. "See Detective First Class Esposito." As he left she yelled at his retreating back. "And get a haircut."

Esposito was also on the phone and staring at a computer monitor. He noticed someone out of the corner of his eye standing by his desk and putting a piece of paper down, but he was busy on a difficult case. "I don't care what your computers say, they're wrong. This guy owns a brownstone overlooking Central Park, he drives a brand new Maserati, and he has a condo and a boat in Miami. There's no way he pays for all of that on what you say he has. Either your records are wrong or this guy is seriously hiding a lot of income. Now what is…"Espo stopped as the other party spoke. While he listened he scanned the document he'd been handed. "Yes, I would like to talk to someone more senior. Yes, I can hold." Espo grabbed a large file folder holding his financial records for the perp to try to explain his point of view. "Glad to see you, Yeti. Yeti? Italian name?" He said without looking up from his files.

"Native American." A deep voice answered.

"Well, glad to have you here. We still don't have a replacement for Beckett and we're hip deep in murders. How the hell they expect…Yes! Detective Esposito, 12th Precinct, Homicide." As Esposito listened to the person on the other end, he saw a Post-it. "Dammit!" He whispered. "I was supposed to see Perlmutter a half an hour ago. Yeti, go down and see Dr. Perlmutter in the morgue. He should have a report for you." As the new officer walked away, Espo called after him. "And get a haircut."

Tears were pouring down Dr. Perlmutter's face when Office Yeti arrived at the morgue. "This isn't from the people here on the job." Perlmutter explained. "Although when Castle's around I often feel like crying. You'll meet him soon enough. He's on a book tour. This is from the victim. He was tossed into a vat of toxic chemicals in the hopes it would destroy the body. It didn't, but the stench is…." Perlmutter found what he had been looking for, a pair of cheap plastic goggles. They were so scratched and marred that Perlmutter could only make out a large form, dressed in a blue uniform. "Now, what did you say you wanted?"

"Detective Esposito sent me down for a report you have for him, sir?"

Perlmutter smiled. "Sir? That's a lot better than I get from most of the people around here. It's nice to meet a police officer with manners for a change." Perlmutter rummaged around on his desk and finally found the report. "Give this to Detective Esposito."

"Thank you, sir." Officer Yeti turned and left.

What a nice young man. Perlmutter thought. Certainly a cut above the usual run we get in here. He could use a haircut, but it's not my job to see to the NYPD's grooming standards.

By the time Yeti got back to the homicide team, Esposito was having a very loud conversation in Spanish with whoever was on the other end.

"Dr. Perlmutter's report, sir." Epso grabbed it without even slowing his tirade. When the other person was talking, Espo wrote an address on a piece of paper. "See Detective Ryan at Super Nova Con. He's trying to track down a witness at the con. Go."

Yeti found Ryan without too much trouble and reported to him.

Great. Ryan thought. Another big, over muscled dude. Why can't they send someone who's, well, circumspect? But he smiled at Yeti. "Nice idea. Chewbacca in a NYPD uniform? I guess you do a lot of cosplay, or something?"

Yeti shrugged. "Not so much."

"We're looking for a Marta Thaler." He held out a photograph. The woman was thin, wore glasses and looked inoffensive. "But, when she comes to these things, she likes to dress up as some sort of a femme fatale. We talked to her roommate, but she has no idea which costume she was wearing to this. We have to act fact, because if we can't get her statement and catch our suspect in a lie and arrest him, he'll be gone by tomorrow morning. We'll have to release him. Good luck."

Yeti turned out to be a big hit at Super Nova Con and soon had dozens of people looking for Ms. Thaler. In less than half an hour they had the statement they needed and Ryan called Esposito and told him he could pick up the suspect.

He turned to Yeti. "Detective Esposito wants you to tell Captain Beckett about this. Here, I'll write down her home address for you since she left an hour ago."

Yeti stopped in front of the door to the loft. It was a much nicer building than he had expected, even for a captain in the NYPD. He knocked on the door. The door was opened by a man, he presumed it was Captain Beckett's husband, Mr. Castle.

"Mr. Castle?" He asked politely.

Castle just stared at him with his mouth hanging open.

"Mr. Castle? I'm here to see Captain Beckett. Is she home?"

Castle said nothing.

"Um, Mr. Castle, is something wrong?"

"You…You're…You must be…Bigfoot?"

"Officer George Yeti, sir. We prefer Yeti to Bigfoot. We don't consider our feet to be big. We think they're just the right size."

Castle turned. "Kate, honey. There's an officer here to see you."

Once Kate had gotten over the shock, she began to ask Officer Yeti how he had gotten into New York City and into the NYPD.

"With rising population and urbanization, we didn't come to the city, the city came to us. My grandad was the first of the family to live here. We lived in a neighborhood with a lot of undocumented people and no one wanted to ask too many questions. We just kept our heads down and no one said anything."

"But how did you get into the Police Academy?" Kate asked.

"I took the exam and passed it." Yeti said.

"But…but…but…" Castle said.

"Oh, there was some muttering, but I threatened to sue the city for discrimination against the unusually hirsute. People backed off. And I make a pretty impressive cop. Seven feet tall and three hundred and fifty pounds."

Both Rick and Kate looked at each other and then at Yeti and back to each other.

"Is this going to be a problem?" Yeti asked.

Kate thought for a second and then shook her head. "You're a replacement for Officer Benitez who went into the mounted unit seven months ago. I'm still trying to get authorization for a detective to replace me. Not an actual detective, just an authorization. And I've got…"Kate stopped. "Welcome to the 12th Precinct, Officer Yeti."