571. Chapter 571

After Last Action Hero

Episode 7.09

By

UCSBdad

Disclaimer: I don't own Castle, but Ah'll be bahk! That really doesn't make sense, does it? Rating: K Time: See above

Author's note: This is a sequel to Chapter 300, also After Last Action Hero.

Rick Castle ran into the loft, kicking the door closed behind him, ran to his wife, picked her up in his arms and thoroughly kissed her. "Guess what just happened!"

"Easy. You just kissed me." Kate said, smiling.

"No, before I kissed you."

"You came home?" Kate wasn't sure where this was going.

"I'll give you a hint. It's almost as great as kissing you." He then kissed her thoroughly once more. "But nowhere near as good as kissing you twice."

"I'm glad to hear that, but I have no idea what happened."

"I was talking to Brock Harmon. Guess what?"

Kate did her best to look serious. "It was almost as much fun as kissing me?"

"No! Do you remember the little movie treatment I wrote just after Lance DeLorca's murder?"

"The one where the hero's girlfriend had those huge boobs?" Kate asked, not smiling now.

"She only had huge boobs in the first draft. In the rewrite she had perfectly sized boobs that look exactly like yours."

"Nice save. But why are you so happy?"

"Brock bought the treatment. He's going to use it as the basis for a new Hard Kill movie."

"Castle, Lance DeLorca, the star of those movies is dead and the actor who played El Jefe is in prison. Won't that make a new movie just a bit difficult?"

"Not at all." Castle said smugly.

"As a homicide investigator, you should know how hard death is on someone's career."

"Movie magic." Castle said, smiling happily.

"I can almost see them getting Henry Allen Booth out of prison, but bringing Lance DeLorca back to life?" Kate shook her head. "Not going to happen."

"Movie magic, Kate. Movie magic. The movie will start with Rico Cruz's death at the hands of El Jefe, all shot in sepia and you won't really be able to see the faces of either man. They'll use doubles and digitally enhance them. Then El Jefe is double crossed and murdered by his Afghan heroin suppliers, who are with the Islamic State. So the Indestructables decide to go after them. "

"Okay, I guess they can do it. But why are you so happy? You've sold books and had a movie made of Heat Wave."

"This is the best part! We're going to be in the movie!" Castle hugged her. "Isn't that great?"

"Castle, I'm a cop. I can't just take off and be in a movie. I have work to do."

"And your work is being in the movie. Brock talked to the Mayor and the chief of police. They loved the idea of having a real New York detective in the movie. Isn't this great?"

"Castle, I've never acted in my life. And if I take off from work, that just puts more work on everyone else. And did you say the mayor, your friend, the mayor, liked this idea? Just what did you say to him?"

"He already liked it when Brock suggested it. I hardly had to say a word." Castle said guiltily. "Besides, we have very small parts, and you can act. I saw you act as the Russian party girl, Tatiana. You were great! We're going to have so much fun."

Kate wasn't that sure.

Once on the soundstage, Kate found that she had one thing to be happy with. As Afghan Woman number three, she was dressed in a black burqa that covered her from her head to her feet, with just a small slit for her eyes. Absolutely no one was going to recognize her in this film.

But there was another problem. "Castle why is it so hot in the studio? Don't they have air conditioning?"

"Brock had it turned off. We're supposed to be in Afghanistan in the summer. He wants people to sweat."

"He's got his wish. I'm drenched in sweat."

"Then just take your costume off, Kate." Rick reached over and pulled her burqa open. Kate screamed and pulled the burqa closed as fast as she could.

"You're only wearing…."

"My panties and bra." Kate said angrily. "It's hot in here, Castle!"

"I know. I know. It is really hot in here." Rick said with a smirk. He leaned in. "And it'll be hotter when we get home. I'll see if we can take the costume home with us."

Before Kate could reply, someone announced over a loudspeaker, "Afghan women one through eight, you're up. On set please."

Kate was not a professional actor, so she was too busy concentrating on the camera angles, her mark and where she was supposed to be in relation to the other Afghan women, that she was surprised when IS Militant Four grabbed her to drag her off. Being surprised, she reacted like a cop and not an actress. Luckily, IS Militant Four was a stunt man and managed to fall after being hip rolled by Kate and not get hurt.

"I think I might have just made a mistake?" She whispered.

The second take was much, much better, although the heavily armed IS militants did seem to stay well away from Afghan Woman Number Three.

Later in the day, Rick got his chance as IS Militant with a Machine Gun. He insisted to Kate that being identified as a militant with a weapon was much more important than being a militant identified only by a number. "Who knows, Kate? I could be promoted to Henchman or Snarling Militant if I do this right."

On cue, Rick was supposed to draw a Russian PKM machine gun from underneath his baggy cloak and fire at Serafina before Brock shoots him. Although the machine gun was rigged to only fire blanks, even blank cartridges cause very hot gases to be expelled from the weapon. And if you get your cloak tangled up in the machine gun as you fire, you can set fire to your costume, as Castle quickly found out. However, the on-set fire crew quickly doused the small fire. What was worse was that Brock felt that Castle's accident should stay in the film. "You just can't script that kind of realism, Castle."

"I'll never be the villain's right hand man now." Castle complained later to Kate. "I'll be forever known as Clumsy Afghan Fool Who Sets Himself on Fire."

"You are known as the man who made Kate Beckett fall in love with him. That's pretty good, isn't it?" She asked, trying not to laugh.

"It's better than a room full of Academy Awards any day." He admitted.

Although Rick's acting career hadn't taken off, Brock was so impressed with Kate's work, that a small part as written for her. She played an American NGO doctor who helped fight off IS militants when they attacked an orphanage. Her experience as a cop and her training gave Kate's action scenes a look of reality that everyone approved of.

Once their scenes were over, Rick and Kate went back to the loft. Rick poured them two glasses of wine.

"And so, one day, you'll be whisked off to Hollywood to star as Nikki Heat and I'll be asked to play Schlemming, the doofus detective. The comic relief."

Kate kissed him. "If that's the case, perhaps you could help me with some love scenes between Nikki and Rook?"

"You know a Nikki Heat movie won't be X-rated, don't you?"

Kate smiled. "But the rehearsals will be."