610. Chapter 610

After Vampire Weekend

Episode 2.06

By

UCSBdad

Disclaimer: BOO! I don't own Castle. Rating: K Time: See above.

Author's note: The first two After Vampire Weekend stories I wrote, chapters 65 and 164 were written before Hollander's Woods and so I made up my own reason for Castle's fascination with the macabre. But now we know why.

Castle smiled at the reaction he'd gotten from Beckett. She had felt sorry for him for being exposed to death at such a young age and it being a death of someone he had known. The smile faded from his face. What's wrong with me? Beckett told me all about her backstory. How her mother was murdered and her father hid in a bottle for years. What happened to her is far more traumatic than anything that's happened to me. Hell, what happened to her is far more traumatic than everything that's ever happened to me, yet she could share it with me. She wanted me to know what had happened to her, what drove her, not just to become a cop, but the best homicide detective on the planet for my money.

Castle snuck a look at Beckett who was busy with paperwork, a slight frown on her face. Is she frowning in concentration, because he has another killer to hunt down or because Rick Castle just was a wise ass in front of her? Or was I an asshole this time? Why couldn't I tell her what really happened? Am I ashamed? Me? Rick Castle? Okay, Kate Beckett took the pain and anger and hurt and channeled it into something that helps other people that find themselves where she was ten years ago. Rick Castle took the terror, shame and fear from that one day in the woods and channeled it into a fun, wealthy lifestyle with all the toys a man could want, and more beautiful women than I ever thought I'd meet, let alone sleep with. But as much pain as I know Beckett is in, I sort of envy her. In ten years my fans will have moved on and Rick Castle will be the answer to a trivia question, but the people who Beckett has helped through some of the worst times in their lives will remember her fondly.

Castle shook his head to clear it. Am I getting all maudlin or what? In ten years I'll still be on top. I just hope I can take Beckett with me. Whoa! Where did that come from? Sure, Beckett is gorgeous, and smart and….a million other things that I'd love to learn about, but together? Castle thought for a moment. There are worse things that could happen to me. In fact, considering my marriages, worse things definitely have happened to me. Of course, now that I made a big joke out of it, I can't really tell her. She'd think I was just messing with her again. Too bad, in a way. I think it helped her just a little bit to talk about her mom and dad. Maybe….maybe what? I don't really feel bad about what happened all those years ago, not really. It bothers me that I never found out what happened, but how many unsolved murders are there out there? I can't worry about them all. I can take a little pride in helping Beckett and her team solve some murders, though. Martha's right, though. Beckett was solving murders long before she met me and she'll be doing so long after I'm gone. Gone? Why is that such an awful thought?

After arriving at Castle's Halloween party, Kate had enjoyed herself, especially after seeing Castle's startle reaction to her spring loaded frog. She felt they were even now. Sort of. What is it with me and Castle? He is so not my type and I know our relationship will never go anyplace. Oh, well, it'll go into the bedroom if I'd let it, and that's when it'd be all over. But dammit, I'm attracted to Castle and I don't know why. So he's good looking, rich and fun. Big deal. I've dated good looking men. I've dated men who were fun. I've never dated anyone as rich as Castle, but his money doesn't interest me one bit. So what is it? Am I attracted to him as a detective? He's good, in his own bizarre, unorthodox and thoroughly egotistical way. No, he's not that egotistical. I've seen him in the field and with his family. If he was as egotistical as I thought he was, he'd have left after the first time he was in danger and he wouldn't have the relationship with Martha and Alexis that he does. Martha and Alexis. What I wouldn't give to have a mother again. I dreamed once of having a husband and children once. A little girl just like Alexis would be perfect. Her eyes strayed to Alexis' father. Castle? What am I thinking of? I want to have children, not marry one.

At the end of the party, Kate stayed to help Castle clean up. "I'm still not sure that we're even for what you pulled on me earlier." She said, putting wine glasses in the dishwasher.

"It was close to the truth." Castle said without thinking. He glanced at Beckett to see if she'd caught that. From the speculative look she was giving him, she'd caught it all right.

"Are you going to tell me another lie?" She asked. "Perhaps a more entertaining one? With zombies, dragons and a beautiful princess that you rescued?"

I already know a beautiful princess who needs rescuing from her very own demons. He thought, then smiled. "No the one you got was more entertaining." He turned away from her and began scraping food off of a plate into the sink. When he turned around, she was still looking at him.

"So?"

"So what?"

"What's the real story? I told you mine, Castle. You owe me."

"Do you want another glass of wine?"

She shook her head. "Quit stalling and talk. Or do I have to get rough with you?"

"We're almost done with the dishes. We'll finish up, have a glass of wine and I'll tell you the truth."

Five minutes later, they were sitting on his couch with their wine glasses. "I was eleven years old, not five and it was in the woods, not on the beach. I was with some friends and I was walking through Hollander's Woods."

Castle explained to her about the body he'd found, the crosses cut into her face, and then the killer in a black robe and mask with a knife, straight out of a slasher movie. "Much later, I looked into it. Asked people to check into missing persons in that area, bodies of Jane Does, unsolved crimes, whatever. I never found anything."

Kate looked at him with a frown. "That's really it? You're not going to start laughing at me?"

He shook his head. "No."

"I guess I'll believe you, then."

"I do wonder, though."

"About what?"

"What might have been? If I hadn't gone into the woods that day, who would Richard Castle be today? Would I be a writer? Probably. I wrote a lot in school and I enjoyed it. Would I be a successful writer? Would I be cranking out bodice rippers under a suitably feminine pen name? Science fiction? Or would I have gravitated to murder mysteries anyway? Who knows?"

He looked at Beckett and smiled. "And what of Kate Beckett?"

"What about me?"

Castle shrugged. "If your mother had lived, you'd be what now?"

"A lawyer. I was prelaw at Stanford."

"So, the world loses a great homicide detective and gains a brilliant lawyer. I wonder if we'd ever have met?"

Kate laughed. "I'm sure I did something dreadful in a prior life to have you around me, so yes. You would have written legal thrillers and would have ended up following Katherine Beckett, Esquire, Attorney-at-Law around and driving her crazy."

But we'd still be together. They thought simultaneously.