625. Chapter 625

After Den of Thieves

Episode 2.21

By

UCSBdad

Disclaimer: The only way I'll ever own Castle is to steal it. Rating: K Time: See above.

To be or not to be. Castle thought. That is the question. Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows outrageous fortune, or to take arms against a sea of troubles and by opposing, end them.

He smiled to himself, taking another sip of Scotch while watching his laptop send him the message that he should be writing. Shakespeare did have a way with words. But, that doesn't help answer my questions. What should I have said to Demming? I suppose I should have done what I did, tell him the truth. There is nothing between Beckett and me. And, if I'm honest with myself, there probably never will be. I'm not her type. Richard Castle, famous writer, millionaire playboy, eligible bachelor and all round good guy, not to mention a fair detective, is not Kate Beckett's type. Who could have known?

There would have been no point in lying to him and saying that Beckett and I are together. The precinct is like a small town, full of gossips. Word would have gotten back to Beckett in no time and then I would have seen some first class slings and arrows.

So Demming wants to date Beckett. And she's interested in him. She could hardly shove me out of the way fast enough to get Demming in my place. Is it my place? I'm not really a cop, in spite of Esposito's kind words. I wonder if we'll see Demming transferring up to homicide anytime soon? So, should I just sit back and wait and hope that they don't last. And should I wait? Beckett is the most fascinating woman I've met in years. Remarkable, extraordinary and amazing. Not to mention tall. I'm not what she wants, I know that. Or am I? Seeing the two of them together, with her so comfortable with him, unlike when she's with me, did something to me. I was jealous. I want Beckett. I want more than an affair, a little fun. I'm fascinated with her. God, could I be in love with her?

He took another sip of Scotch and thought about the women he had loved. Kyra, Meredith, and Gina. Each of them had been somehow lacking. Kyra had left, but I never went after her. Meredith….was Meredith. Enough said. Gina. Why the hell did I marry her? But Beckett is different. But exactly how different, I can't really say. I don't understand exactly what I feel for her, just that I don't want to lose her.

Should I tell Beckett that Demming has competition? He laughed. That would be the end of me and Beckett. She'd have my ass out of the precinct so fast I'd never know how I ended up on the sidewalk outside. So, all I can do is sit by and hope that somehow, someway, I can show Beckett that I can be what she wants.

Thus conscience does make cowards of us all.

"So what are you going to do?" Lanie asked, sitting on one of the steel autopsy tables.

Castle made a show of thinking. "I thought I'd go to a movie and then have a late dinner. Is there some reason you care?" He said with a smile.

"About Beckett." Lanie said, doing a very fair imitation of Beckett's glare.

"As we both know, she's not on the menu."

Good lord, what is the matter with this man? He's been chasing Beckett for a year and the first time he gets a little competition, suddenly he's not interested? That makes no sense. Lanie stopped and thought. I know Castle now. He's not just the fun date I thought he'd be for Beckett when he first showed up here. He's a hell of a lot more serious than that. No millionaire is going to put up with the danger and boredom that comes with being a cop just to get some ideas for a story, not for a damned year. He has to be interested in her. Why isn't he doing something?

"Maybe if you tried ordering from that menu, Beckett might be on it. You'll never know if you don't try."

Castle chuckled. "Beckett has no interest in me and everyone knows it. Including me."

"So you are interested in her?"

He shrugged. "Sure. She's an interesting woman. I wrote a best selling novel based on her, remember?"

"That's not what I meant and you know it." Lanie snapped at him.

"Lanie, we both know that Beckett has no interest in me other than as part of her team." To the extent I'm on her team, that is. And why is Lanie pushing me towards Beckett? Could Beckett have asked her to? Have me ask her out so that she could publicly refuse and have an excuse to kick me to the curb. No, that's too Machiavellian for Beckett. She's never had any trouble telling me exactly what she wants. She sure as hell isn't having any trouble getting her message across now. Castle smiled and headed for the door. "Nice talking to you, but I really must be going."

Lanie watched him walk out. What the hell is wrong with him? What the hell is wrong with both of them?

Tom Demming sat down by Esposito's desk. "Mind if I ask you a question?"

Espo shrugged. "Sure. Why not?"

"What is it with Castle?"

Espo frowned. He liked Demming, but Castle was his partner. "What the hell do you mean? There's nothing wrong with Castle."

Demming shook his head. "That's not what I meant. He's a writer, not a cop. But, going to pick up a dirty, armed and probably desperate cop, he went right along with us. He had on a protective vest, but was unarmed. He could have walked into a firefight if Racine had a couple of his goons go with Holliwell."

Espo shrugged. "He wants to get the details straight. He writes best sellers, and makes millions doing it. If that's what it takes, that's what it takes. In the meantime, he's a good member of our team. He's the one who figured that we needed to know who IA's informant was since that had to be Racine's inside man."

Demming nodded. "I guess if it works for him, all the better. Thanks." Demming went back to robbery.

Ryan leaned over to talk to his partner. "Why did you tell him that? Everybody knows that the only reason that Castle stays here is because of Beckett."

"Everybody except Beckett." Espo replied. "Look, I like Demming. He's a friend. But he likes Beckett and Beckett likes him, even though I think she'd be happier with Castle. But I am not going to get involved in Beckett's personal life. No way."

Ryan nodded. "Makes sense."

Captain Kate Beckett rested against her husband's chest. Thank god this horrible separation is over. I screwed up badly and I know Castle is still hurt and angry with me. Kate relaxed and let her mind drift.

"What are you thinking about?" He asked suddenly.

She blushed. "You don't want to know."

"Oh, but now I have to know. What were you thinking about?"

"Tom Demming."

"You were right the first time. I didn't want to know."

"That's really where this all started, you know."

"This?" He asked, a bit confused.

"I had had my walls up for ten years and was nothing but a cop. Didn't want to be anything else. I didn't think I could be anything else. Then I started having fun."

"Yeah, with Demming."

She slapped his chest. "No, Castle. With you. But I was too afraid of having my heart broken. So I picked Tom over you. He could never have hurt me. He could never have gotten through my walls like you did. He could never have broken my heart the way you did when you left."

"I will always help you with any wall demolition you need." He teased.

"The problem is, I have a new wall."

"Another wall I have to break down?" He groaned at the thought.

She shook her head. "No, you'll never be able to destroy this wall. That's because my wall is named Richard Castle. And my wall protects me from the loneliness, the pain and the anguish that was all I had inside my old wall." She elbowed herself up so that she could see his face clearly. "I was perfectly serious. I would die without you. I just couldn't go on. And that's why protecting my new wall is so important to me. You're everything to me, Rick. And as much as I want us together for this, I hate the idea of…" Kate stopped, unable to even think about losing Rick.

"Then your wall had better make sure he stays in one piece."

"You'd better."

"But thinking about Demming while you're in bed with me? I think you need more punishment."

"I do. I've been a very bad girl."