630. Chapter 630

After A Deadly Affair

Episode 3.01

By UCSBdad

Disclaimer: There must be a connection between Castle and me, but I don't own Castle. Rating: K+ Time: See above.

She heard the footsteps behind her and recognized them as Castle's. She smiled to herself. He's back with me. I have my partner back. I missed him the whole damned summer, and I still don't know what we are to each other, and I don't know if I'll ever figure him out, but he's back.

"So, why did you let me win our bet?"

That was the last thing she'd expected him to say. It's a good thing he can't see my face. She stayed facing away from him. "What are you talking about, Castle? You won the bet. I know. I was there for it. Remember?"

"I'm all about the story, Beckett. I'd never write a story where the best detective in New York couldn't figure out what was going on before the ruggedly handsome crime novelist did. Unless the novelist got really lucky, or he cheated, or the detective cheated. You put just a little too much emphasis on the words how they made a bunch of money together. I figured it out."

She turned around to face him, after schooling her face to look slightly upset. That turned out to be rather easy. "In case your summer away from here has affected your memory, you have figured out the story before I did. Remember the Candela kidnapping? You noticed the bunny missing. No one else did. And there are plenty more of those."

Castle sat down in his chair and smiled at her. "So, if I won, I get to decide whether I stay or just go on my merry way. I think I should go, since I didn't actually win." He got up again. "Have a nice life Detective Beckett."

He saw the shocked look on her face and her hand shot out to grab his sleeve. "Why is this so important to you anyway? You're back. Isn't that what you wanted?" Isn't this what you wanted? She thought.

"When I left here in May, I had friends here. People I cared about." He stared hard at her. "People I care about very much. And then all of a sudden, nobody likes me. They're mad at me. You, Ryan and Esposito, the Captain, and Lanie, too. I went to see her and she reached for a scalpel. For all I know the whole NYPD is mad at me. I'd like to know why."

"Nobody's mad at you now." She lowered her voice. "I'm not mad at you." Did I screw this up somehow? Did he not want to come back?

"Glad to hear it, but I still want to know what I did or didn't do to piss all those people off at me. I don't want to do it again. Plus, I really should apologize to them for whatever it was I did, or didn't do. I can't really go to Espo and Ryan and say, "Hey, I'm sorry for whatever it was I did, or didn't do, and I won't do it, or not do it again." That makes me sound insincere. Not to mention stupid."

"Castle, don't worry about it. It's nothing."

"Nothing? You mean people I care about, care about a lot, just get mad at me for no reason? Is this an NYPD thing? Is it like some sort of a plague? Is it spreading? Will everyone become zombies?"

"Castle!" She got up and grabbed her coat and purse. "Buy me a drink." Damn him. I didn't want to have to go into this now, but he won't give up. He won't stop. She suppressed a smile. Which is one reason I like him.

"I want to know."

She gestured to some detectives at the end of the bullpen. "Not here."

"Remy's?" He asked, standing up.

"Too many cops." She thought for a second. "No place around here where there might be cops."

"We can go to Nobu's. It's not that far."

"Castle! I'm not dressed for some place like Nobu's." She said quickly.

"Don't be silly. You're gorgeous. Every woman there will be jealous of you." He took her arm and led her to the elevator.

When they got to Nobu's, Castle tipped the maître d'. "Someplace where we won't be bothered." He led them to a table in the back that was fairly dark and not visible from the front.

A waiter appeared at once. "Would you like something to drink?"

"Scotch on the rocks and the lady will have…" He looked expectantly at Kate.

"White wine."

As they sat and sipped their drinks, Castle waited for her to speak. Finally she did. "My life was perfect once. Oh, yes, I was Rebel Becks on her Harley, but I had great parents, even if I did drive them crazy sometimes. I wanted to be just like my mother, a lawyer who'd speak up for those who had no voice in society. I was at Stanford, in pre-law, and I was going to be a great lawyer. I was going to be the first female Chief Justice." She looked at Castle expecting a wise crack.

He smiled at her. "I'm sure you'd have made it."

She blushed slightly "I was going to have a great husband, who would be a great lawyer, some great kids, a great career…."

"And a great dog named Spot?"

"A very great dog." She said, nodding. "Then it all changed. My mom was murdered. I became a cop. For years I didn't have time for anything but my job and her case. And when I gave up on her case, I found something had changed inside me. I couldn't stand the thought of letting anyone get close enough for me to care about because I knew I couldn't handle losing them."

Castle nodded. "Do you remember when we first met? I told you about how you became a cop there in the precinct? Just for a second your control slipped and I saw how much pain you live in. I saw it and I just wanted to put my arms around you and tell you that I'd take all of your pain away and give you nothing but joy. I've never felt that way about anyone."

She smiled and shook her head. "I'd have broken both of your arms if you'd tried that."

He nodded. "I'm sorry. I wish I could…."

She reached over and took her hand, pulling her chair closer to him. "I was a cop and nothing more until one day some writer became part of my life. I had fun with him, but I was still unable to let anyone in. I pushed him away because I really did like him and I dated a guy who was okay, but who I knew would never hurt me. I didn't care for him enough for him to be able to hurt me."

"I'd never hurt you." Castle said quickly.

She shook her head. "But you did. You told me you were leaving and I realized my heart didn't want someone who couldn't hurt me, my heart wanted someone I cared about." Kate stopped, hating that she had to go on, but knowing it was too late now not to. "I broke up with Tom to go to the Hamptons with you. I was just about to tell you when Gina walked in and you broke my heart."

Castle was shocked. "Beckett…Kate…I didn't know. I thought…."

She nodded, smiling ruefully. "How could you have known? I acted like a bitch to you for a year. I practically rubbed your nose in my relationship with Tom. I got what I deserved."

"Beckett, I'll make it up to you somehow."

She shook her head. "You can't. You're with Gina now. I'm not the kind of a person who's going to go after another woman's man."

It was his turn to shake his head. "When I lost you to Demming, I was hurt and upset and feeling very sorry for myself. I hated the idea of being all alone in the Hamptons while you were having fun in the City. When Gina called, I turned on the charm and she agreed to come to the Hamptons with me. I may have spent the summer with her, but I spent it thinking of you. I can't stay with her knowing what I know now. It isn't fair to her, to you or to me. She's my ex-wife for a reason. I knew I'd made a mistake before we were halfway to the Hamptons. Nothing is ever going to happen between Gina and me. There's no point in me pretending. "

"What are you going to tell her?"

"The truth. What else can I tell her?"

"I'll be with you when you tell her."

Castle laughed. "Don't joke, Beckett. You have no idea what an angry Gina is like."

Beckett gestured to the front of the restaurant. "No, but I'm about to find out."

Castle looked around. It was Gina, staring straight at them.

Gina walked to their table and sat down, her mouth set in a hard line. "I see you have company, Richard."

Kate realized she was still holding Castle's hand and slipped her hand from his. Gina noticed.

"May I ask why you're sitting here holding her hand and not mine?" She said coldly.

Castle took a deep breath. "I invited Beckett to come with me to the Hamptons last May, but through a mix up, I thought she was with another guy and didn't want to go with me. I ran into her today and she told me that she was going to accept my invitation when you walked in. I'm sorry. I wanted to take Beckett with me and not you. I was lonely and feeling sorry for myself when you called me that night. I know I shouldn't have asked you to come with me. I know what I did was wrong and I'm apologizing for it. I'm very sorry for…."

"Treating me like some piece of ass you could fuck while you imagined you were with your little cop slut? I knew there was something wrong, but I was happy that we were together and that you were working again. I suppose as your publisher I should be happy you took me and didn't spend the whole damned summer screwing her. But as your former girlfriend…" She picked up Castle's glass of Scotch and threw it in his face.

Then she turned to Kate. "I hope you realize what an egotistical, self-centered, uncaring asshole you're with. I hope when he cheats on you and dumps you, you'll remember this and not feel as bad and as used as I do." Gina stood up and walked out.

Beckett looked around. As far as she could tell, no one had noticed what had happened. Except the waiter.

"Should I get you another Scotch, sir?" He asked solicitously.

Castle nodded. "Please. And some menus, please."

"And another napkin, please." Kate said, using her napkin to dry Castle's face. "And you don't have to take me to dinner, Castle."

"Beckett, I'm not walking out of here dripping a glass of Glenlivet on the floor as I leave. I'll be dry, more or less, by the time we're through with dinner." He smiled as she put her napkin aside. "I deserved that, I guess."

She shook her head. "Some of it. What you did to her wasn't very nice. But I know you. Better than she does, I think. You're a good man, Castle. A very good man. And someone I think I can trust with my heart. She thought.

"Try the black cod with miso, it's superb." He winked at her.

She winked back, then leaned over and brushed her lips lightly across his.