703. Chapter 703

After Still

Episode 5.22

By

UCSBdad

Disclaimer: I'm standing here telling you I don't own Castle. Rating: K Time: See above.

"Greetings, Don Guglielmo."

The elderly Italian man squinted. "Come closer. Is that….Yes! Bellisima Katerina Beckett, of course. But you are now Lady Castle, no?"

"On the job, I'm still Detective Inspector Kate Beckett, Scotland Yard."

"And why would such a beautiful detective come to see an old man like me?"

Beckett smiled. Don Guglielmo Sorrento was the head of the Unione Siciliana in the United Kingdom, a man to be feared and sometimes even respected. But, ever since that night when London was celebrating the end of the Great War when she had saved his life from a deranged football hooligan from Manchester, there had grown an odd friendship between the two, who were otherwise so different.

"I think we can be of assistance to one another."

Don Guglielmo shrugged expressively, as Italians do. "What can a man who runs a small pizza parlor in London's East End do for one so brave, so brilliant, and so beautiful?"

Kate smiled. "Please, Don Guglielmo, remember that we are both married. You should not flirt with me."

Don Guglielmo feigned a look of shock. "I do not flirt, I merely tell the truth. But tell me, what brings you to me?"

"The American, who calls himself Don Tomasso Demmino. You know of him?"

A look of disgust passed over Don Guglielmo's face. "A no one. I hear, through the newspapers, of course, that he was chased out of New York by the Americans. He sold liquor in violation of their foolish laws against this. By the way, you will have a glass of chianti with me, no?"

Although Beckett was on duty, she knew it would be an insult to decline Don Guglielmo's hospitality. "Of course."

The old man snapped his fingers and a young woman rushed in with a bottle and two glasses. Don Guglielmo made a production of examining the wine and the glasses, then allowed the girl to pour.

"I have heard that this Demmino is a gangster as they call them in America." The Don went on. "I would not worry about him. I think his stay in London will be short. Very short."

We haven't been pulling mobsters out of the Thames in cement overcoats as the Americans do, or so I hear, but I wonder if that's what Don Guglielmo has in mind for this intruder? Beckett thought. "I hope no one will do anything….unpleasant."

The Don smiled happily. "Bellisima Katerina, do not worry. We are Italians. We will talk things over like civilized men and all will be well." All will be well when a stiletto finds the heart of this American upstart. I've heard he's not even Sicilian.

Before any more civilized talking could take place, a man walked into the back room of the Don's pizza parlor, drew a hand grenade from his pocket and threw it at Don Gullielmo.

Only Kate's lightning fast reflexes and cat like speed and grace saved them. She dove for the grenade, grasped the handle before it could strike the primer and kept it from exploding, then landed face down on the floor.

Don Guglielmo crossed himself. "Katerina, you have saved us."

"Not quite. " Kate replied. "I lost my grip on the grenade when I hit the floor. The handle is wedged against my chest. If I move, it'll go off."

The Don nodded. "I would gladly reach around your chest and investigate, but my hands. The arthritis, you know. Who knows what I might do?"

"Can you get my husband please? He's just outside talking with your wife, Dona Maria."

"I hope she hasn't challenged your husband to the pinochle. She cheats, you know."

"So does my husband. But only at cards."

In seconds, Sir Richard Castle was kneeling by her side. "I say, is this the best place for a nap?"

"I need your help."

"Do you want me to undress you?"

"Not that kind of help. I've landed on a grenade. The handle is wedged against my chest. If I move, the grenade will go off. Can you call the bomb squad?"

"Hardly. I'm not letting a bunch of Bobbies who haven't been properly introduced to you mess around with your chest. I'll do it."

"Richard, I appreciate it, but… What are you doing?"

"Laying down on top of you. How do you expect me to do this if I stand up?"

"Do not worry, Dona Katerina. I will be there to help in a minute. As soon as I get my nephew Carmine and his five sons."

"I don't think that more people will help, Don Guglielmo."

"They will stand in front of me while I bravely offer your husband advice."

In a minute, six very large Italian men entered the room and stood between Don Guglielmo and Kate. Don Guglielmo watched with great interest through a small periscope. "Most interesting, you being on top that way, Don Ricardo, with Dona Katerina on her face, but I believe the Church condemns that manner of coupling."

"I'm Church of England, of course and I'm trying to reach around and grab the grenade and the handle. There, I think…"

"Richard. That's not the grenade!"

"I thought it was rather soft. I'll try again." He began moving rhythmically up and down on her.

"What are you doing now?" She demanded.

"Sorry, love. I'm trying to position myself exactly. There I think I have it. And now…" He gave a tug and came up with….

"That's my brassiere! How did you get it off?" She yelled.

"Sorry, dear. Muscle memory you know. When I'm in this position, I'm usually trying to…."

"You're trying to do what?" Don Guglielmo asked, overcome with curiosity.

"I think I can leave that to your imagination. Now I really must get back to work and…."

"How did you get my panties off?" Kate demanded. "Now put them back on at once."

"Sorry, old girl. There. Good as new."

"They're on backwards."

"Are you sure?"

"Never mind. Just get the bloody grenade this time. No, that's the other boob!" She screamed.

"Well, having eliminated the other possibilities, I can say with certainty that this is it." Sir Richard pulled the grenade out from under his wife. As soon as he did, the handle flew off and the primer was struck. He now had five seconds before the grenade went off.

'Throw it out the window!" Yelled Kate.

"Excellent idea." Sir Richard threw the grenade out the window and waited for the explosion. And waited and waited and waited.

When the bomb squad arrived they determined the grenade was a dud.

Constable Ryan advised the couple of the bomb squad's findings. "A complete dud. But luckily, a street artist was working outside and made an excellent sketch of the grenade thrower. He's one of the lads Demmino brought with him from America. Name of Davidson. Harley Davidson. We'll have him in the cuffs in no time."

Kate nodded. "I need to return to the Yard and write my report up." She turned to Don Guglielmo. "And many thanks for your help. You have my respect, Don Guglielmo."

"As you have mine, Donna Katerina and you also, Don Ricardo."

"What will we do after you get done at the Yard?" Rick asked.

"You obviously need more training in removing grenades from my chest area."

"I do. I surely do."

"And I intend to keep you at it all night if I have to."

And she did.