735. Chapter 735

After Child's Play

Episode 7.04

By

UCSBdad

Disclaimer: Neither I nor my children own Castle. Rating: K Time: See above.

Kate looked in the refrigerator briefly, then pulled the door all the way open. "Castle? What is this? Was a bakery having a going out of business sale?"

Castle did his very best to look innocent. "It's just a few things for tomorrow."

"What's tomorrow?"

"Didn't I tell you?"

Kate walked over to where her husband was sitting, having some after dinner coffee. "No, but you'd better tell me now. There's enough sweet things in the refrigerator to send half of Manhattan into a diabetic coma."

"It's about Sarah Grace Ryan." Castle said, as if that explained everything.

"It's not her birthday, and it's not Christmas….So?"

"Ryan volunteered to help out at her school, but then the Casey trial got moved up and he has to testify, so he can't go to the school and help out. They couldn't get another parent on such short notice, so….Esposito and I offered to go in his place."

Kate smothered a smile. "So the school is going to get one additional child and one…..How should I put this? Not very parental replacement parent?"

"I'm sure we'll do just fine."

When they arrived the next morning, the first thing they found was that sweets are not allowed unless provided by the child's parent.

"Really, Mr. Castle. Some of these children have allergies and many of our parents worry about their children's' basic health. Do you have any idea of the rate of childhood obesity? Do you Mr. Esposito?"

Esposito just smiled at Ms. Blanco, who didn't have to worry about obesity, since she was obviously quite fit. In fact, she was more than quite fit, Esposito decided. She was gorgeous.

"We'll put the goodies back in Mr. Castle's car." Espo said helpfully. "Would you care to help? I'm not entirely sure where I am. I guess I got turned around coming in here."

Ms. Blanco smiled. "Can you handle the class for a few minutes, Mr. Castle? The children are doing silent reading right now. They're reading Edward the Lucky Duck. There's a copy on my desk. It shouldn't take you more than a few minutes to read it in case the children have any questions."

"Of course. Being a writer, I just love to watch people read." Castle said. He smiled as Espo and Ms. Blanco left with the boxes of cookies, bear claws and eclairs that Castle had brought. He picked up the book and began reading, a sense of horror slowly coming over him.

When Esposito and Ms. Blanco returned, they knew something was wrong. The class was either screaming at Castle, or at each other, except for two girls who were staring out the window and crying.

"What happened?" Ms. Blanco demanded.

"Mr. Castle hates Edward the Lucky Duck. " A young boy called out. Several others nodded in agreement.

"He doesn't like the picture of Edward." Said a young girl. "It's my favorite picture. I always wanted a duck just like Edward. Or maybe a puppy."

Castle quickly explained himself. "I do not hate Edward the Lucky Duck. He's a very….lucky duck. And his picture is cute, too." he said, smiling at the little girl, who looked away from him. "But this author is awful. Here, listen to this. "Edward needed to quickly go to find his mother." That's a split infinitive. It should read, "Edward needed to go quickly to find his mother."

Ms. Blanco shook her head. "Mr. Castle, I realize that you are a professional writer and that these things are important to adults, but this is a children's book. Edward is lucky because he has a loving family, friends and a community to grow up in, which is why the children read it. Not because the writer has perfect grammar."

"That's no reason to start children off on the wrong foot, so to speak. And look at this. The author ended a sentence with a preposition. "What did Edward step on?" It should read, "On what did Edward step?"

Both Esposito and Ms. Blanco gave Castle a stare. "These are grammar school children, Mr. Castle. I think we can wait for a while before we cover that part of the language." Espo nodded in agreement. Castle may have been his partner, but he was 100 percent on Ms. Blanco's side on this.

"Don't blame me if we end up with a nation of illiterates." Castle muttered under his breath.

Ms. Blanco smiled at the class. "As you can all see, it's recess time. Everyone should go outside and play."

The children rushed for the door, all except for the little girl who had accused Castle of hating the picture of Edward. "So you don't hate Edward?" She asked.

"I love Edward. If I had a duck, I'd want one just like Edward." Castle said as passionately as he could.

"Edward would be lonely without all of his family and his friends. And the people in his school and, just everyone in his town."

"And that's what Edward is a very lucky duck."

"Yes. I'm glad you understand that." Then the girl rushed off to play.

"Everybody's a critic." Castle said to himself.

"This is deja vu all over again." Castle said as he and Espo sat outside the principal's office "I spent so much time waiting outside the principal's office in school."

"At least you weren't handcuffed to the chair like I was back in the day, bro."

Before Rick could respond, Kate Beckett walked in, glared at the two men and strode into the principal's office. Several minutes later, the two of them were also summoned.

"It was all my fault, Captain." Espo said.

"I was involved, too." Castle said.

Principal Moore shook his head. "Luckily, Captain Beckett was able to convince the parents of the little boy who got a bloody nose that suing the school because their son got beaten up by a little girl half his size would be more humiliating than the actual beating. Why would you two try to teach children hand to hand combat techniques?"

"It's a tough world out there, and the sooner that the kids learn…"

"Enough, Espo. You are going back to the precinct to finish up your paperwork. Castle, you're coming home with me. Now!"

When Kevin Ryan arrived at the precinct the next morning, he at once went to his two partners to see how the previous day had gone.

"So, how was school?"

"You know, Ms. Blanco is really hot." Espo said. "I just wish I could have gotten her phone number."

"There's good news and bad news." Kate said, coming out of her office.

"Good news and bad news? What's the good news?"

"You won't have to worry about taking time off to help out at school anymore." Castle said, with as much optimism as he could muster.

"What's the bad news?" Ryan demanded.

"Perhaps I should explain in my office." Kate said, shepherding the three men into her office and closing the door.