741. Chapter 741

After Last Action Hero

Episode 7.09

By

UCSBdad

Disclaimer: I'll be back, but I won't own Castle. Rating: K Time: See above.

Rook sat in his tiny, run down room, waiting for his friend and manager, the Mexican Indian, Javier, to take him to his next pit fight. At last, Javier arrived.

"Amigo, we have a problem." Javier said. "El jefe says that since you've beaten every man that you've fought since I found you outside of town with your many head wounds that caused your amnesia, so many months ago, that he's found a new opponent for you. It's a three hundred pound wolf that hasn't eaten in a week. Rook, you must change your fighting style."

Rook shook his head. "No, I must let my opponents beat me up for the first nine rounds, then I defeat them in the tenth. That way my opponent still has his self respect. I cannot change. I will not change. I am what I am." He said, quoting Popeye.

Javier shook his head. "I don't know how you've managed to win every fight with that attitude. Why do you care about the other person's self respect. And in this case, how do you even know if a wolf has any self respect?"

Rook put his hands on his misshapen head as vague memories came flooding back. Memories of death and destruction and of….her.

Rook and Javier walked to the sleazy bar where the fights were held. Rook noticed that there was a radio broadcast of the fight this time.

"Si, amigo." Said Javier. "Because the wolf is fighting, Wolfman Jack is broadcasting over XTRA, from Tijuana, Mexico."

It made no difference to Rook. As always, he allowed the wolf to savage him for nine rounds, then put the wolf away in the tenth. As always, Javier handing him his winnings. As they left, Rook saw the wolf sitting with his family. The wolf raised his paw to salute Rook.

"You're going to give all of your winnings to the Church again?" Javier asked.

"I'm a man of few needs." Rook said, leaving Javier and heading to the church and Father Demming. As he entered the church, he saw a young redheaded woman on her knees in front of Father Demming. Doubtlessly, he is giving her his blessing. She is another of the poor, unfortunate orphans that Father Demming has taken in since I began giving him all of my winnings. Rook turned away so as not to intrude on such a special moment.

"Ah, Senor Rook." Said Father Demming. "You have brought me your winnings? Please come into my office."

The Father led Rook into his office where he allowed Rook to squat on the floor while the Father sat in a specially made leather chair and smoked a Cuban cigar. "Thank you for your generosity. I will be gone for a few days to the Cayman Islands where….Um, some other parishes need my services. But Sister Jacinda can help you if you need anything. Won't you, Sister?"

Sister Jacinda, a lovely blonde, suffered from an unfortunate skin condition that would not allow anything but a very brief set of silk underwear to touch her body. "Sure. It sure beats rolling drunks in Vegas."

Rook, wasn't sure that meant, but he was sure Sister Jacinda was a good woman. He had heard Father Demming describe her as fanfuckingtastic, which he was sure was good.

"Before you leave, Rook. I have something for you. Here take one." Father Demming held out a box of fun sized American candy bars. Almond Joys to be exact. Rook took one and a tear slid down his cheek when he thought of how good Father Demming was to him and all those unfortunate orphan women. He crawled of the office so as not to damage to expensive Persian carpet that the good father had recently bought.

Once back in his humble home, Rook went to sleep, but dreamed of killings and violence and he dreamed of her. He dreamed of sliding on top of her and slowly running his hand up her smooth leg and under her skirt until….Rook came awake and saw a vision of the Virgin of Chavez Ravine standing in his room. Then she left. Rook went back to sleep.

A week later, Rook was again waiting for his pit fight to begin. Again, Javier came in with a worried look on his face. "El jefe isn't happy that you beat the wolf last week. This week you're to fight a grizzly bear. He weighs eight hundred pounds, Rook. You must change your fighting style and fight to win from the very first round."

Rook shook his head. "I must allow the bear to keep his self respect. This is important to me"

In the fight, the bear did keep his self respect, being knocked out in the tenth round by Rook. He shared a pizza and a beer with the bear and his friends in the little cantina where the fights were held, leaving as friends.

As always, Rook took his winnings to Father Demming after the fight. He found the priest on the floor with Sister Jacinda, smoking a large, hand rolled cigarette. "Jesus, don't scare me like that." The father said. "Do you have your winnings?"

Rook nodded and handed the money over.

"Are you okay?" Sister Jacinda asked.

Rook shrugged. "It took eight hundred and forty seven stitches, an eleven gallon blood transfusion, and a transplanted liver, but I'll be ready to fight next week."

Father Demming nodded and giggled. "Say twelve Hail Marys, and twelve Our Fathers, do a good Act of Contrition and go forth and sin no more." He giggled again. "So, I guess you can sin as much as you did last time as long as it's no more." Both he and Sister Jacinda giggled as they gobbled down Hostess Twinkies.

That night Rook dreamed about the violence and her. He remembered killing, men, women and children and even cute little kittens. He remembered her name was Nikki and that she and some Irishman named Brian, or something, were taking guns to the rebels fighting in the mountains. He had been in the truck with them when his people stopped them. He explained that he was stealing the guns so that he could sell them to el jefe to arm his drug cartel. He told Nikki to come with him, but she refused. In fact, she had pulled a gun and shot him in the head. He realized that he had shot back in a rage and shot an eyelash off of the woman he loved.

When Rook woke up the next morning, he realized that he loved Nikki more than anything, but that he had destroyed their love for money. He was devastated.

Things got worse when he met with Javier later that day. "Amigo, el jefe can't get anyone to bet against you. So he's decided that next week he'll flood the plaza del toros and you'll fight a killer whale and you must take a dive."

"Of course, how else would I get into the water?"

"No, el jefe said you must intentionally lose the fight, or he'll kill us both."

Rook nodded. Now that he realized that since he'd lost is Nikki, life had no meaning for him anymore. "Okay."

But when Rook arrived at the flooded bull ring and saw el jefe sneering at him, something inside him snapped. The leapt into the water, grabbed the killer whale by the tail and threw him completely out of the water. The whale was knocked unconscious and Rook was declared the winner. El jefe was enraged and sent his minions after Rook.

Unknown to Rook, Nikki and her partner, named Ryan actually, were robbing the bull ring to get money to buy medical supplies for the rebels. As Rook ran he suddenly saw Nikki.

"Nikki! What are you doing here?"

"Fighting against tyranny and el jefe. We stole the proceeds from the fight. Not that you care, you uncaring money grubbing mercenary."

"Actually, I've had an epiphany. You and what's his name run for the border. I'll hold off el jefe and his men with this spoon I took from the cantina."

Nikki kissed Rook goodbye and headed north, being passed by Javier on the way.

Rook turned to face el jefe and his men, saying a prayer to the Virgin who he now realized was Nikki, although Nikki was hardly a virgin, but were talking metaphysics here, not anatomy. Although el jefe's men were armed with machine guns, flamethrowers, helicopter gunships, and tanks, he managed to defeat them and drive his spoon into el jefe's throat, killing him.

Months later he arrived at Nikki's door. "Nikki, I love you. I love you, Nikki."

"I love you, too, Rook."

Author's note: If you recognize the plot from this story, you must be a huge Stana Katic fan. It's lifted from the Pit Fighter which starred Stana Katic as Marianne, the woman that the pit fighter loved. Of course, the parts with Stana in it were great. The rest, not so good.