748. Chapter 748

After Resurrection

Episode 7.14

By

UCSBdad

Disclaimer: Could I be made to look like I own Castle? Rating: K Time: See above.

Author's note: This is pretty obviously after Reckoning as well. So, if it's obvious, why am I mentioning it?

"I don't know how you manage to handle it, but every day I get up and think that I can't face it again, and then I think, no, I can't not face it again." He said softly.

Kate moved around to look Castle in the eye. "What are you handling? Or not handling? Can I help?"

"You know I was in love with you for years before I ever told you."

Kate grinned. "For a detective who's supposed to be remarkable, I had an awful lot of evidence that you loved me for those years and somehow I couldn't put it all together." She leaned against him. "What is it, babe."

"I hate it when you're in danger. Do you remember that shootout with the Nigerian? Right after that, I was still on the adrenaline rush and I remember saying something stupid to you. But later, that night, I started thinking. You could have died. Okay, maybe I wasn't quite in love with you, but I cared."

"I knew you cared. Even with the bullets whizzing past us, you were still capable of coming up with a plan to get us out of that."

"By the time of the Scott Dunn case, I was in love with you. I remember seeing your apartment exploding and I just about lost it."

"But you didn't. You rushed in and got me out. And got a good look at my boobs."

"I did not….Wait? You know I looked at your boobs and you didn't break my arms, or something? Why?"

She kissed him lightly. "Why do you think I showed you my boobs?"

"I will never understand you."

She nodded. "So many layers to the Beckett onion."

"And when Dunn was about to shoot you…." Castle just shook his head.

"You saved me."

"And I was so terrified, I missed his head by three feet."

"You saved me, Castle."

He reached over and picked up his wine glass and took a long sip. "When Raglan was shot. I saw the blood on your sweater and thought you'd been hit."

"What I remember about that case is that I should have kept kissing you."

Castle smiled. "And left Ryan and Esposito to be tortured?"

"Okay. After we saved them. I should have told them to man up, because I was going to be busy for a few hours with my partner."

"And then the real nightmare. I watched you die in that ambulance. And I waited for hours, not knowing what was happening. That was when I knew I'd do anything to protect you, even if it meant losing you."

Kate put her arms around him and hugged him. "I was so stupid. I should never have let you walk out of my place. I'll never let that happen again."

"And so, I was in love with you and absolutely terrified every time we went out on a case. You didn't handle the sniper case that well, but I was just about in as bad shape. I may have hidden it better, but I was terrified for you. And he almost killed you."

"And I was my usual Kate Beckett, kick ass cop. Ten feet tall and bulletproof. I wish I'd asked you for help. I asked Dr. Burke, but somehow I couldn't ask you. I should have."

"We need to talk to each other."

She nodded. "I'm trying. I'm trying as hard as I can, but it's still hard."

"You're not the only one. After I heard you tell that pickpocket that you remembered everything about your shooting, I should have talked to you. I should not have been so hurt, stubborn, stupid…."

"It all worked out, remember, Mr. Beckett? We're together."

"But you still got into danger. You ended up with that hit man, Leo, that night we ended up running from what we thought was a mob hit squad."

"Do you think I wasn't terrified for you?" She asked softly.

"Talk about terrified. When we met at the park and I proposed to you, I was terrified you'd say no. That the job in DC was what you wanted, not me."

"And I thought you were going to dump me. I was every bit as terrified as you were, Castle. And don't you ever forget it. Your proposal prevented a major meltdown by a remarkable, kick ass cop."

"But now both Jerry Tyson and Kelly Nieman are dead and Bracken is in prison, and tomorrow we'll both go to the precinct and I may again be terrified that you'll be killed. And I know that it won't stop because you're a cop and because I'm madly in love with you. As much as it terrifies me, I know that I'll be right there with you."

"I won't always be a cop, you know."

"Oh, sure. You'll retire someday, but that's a long time from now. But even then I'll be worried about the woman that I've loved all of my life."

"All of your life? Be serious."

"I am serious. I honestly can't remember a time when I wasn't in love with you."

"How about your marriages to Meredith and Gina? And Kyra, who made the stars shine for you?"

Castle frowned. "Meredith? Gina? Kyra and stars? They ring no bells. I just remember you."

"That's so sweet, Castle. It's a lie, but it's sweet. But I can retire after twenty years with the NYPD. With a detective's pension and the money I got from my parents when I turned twenty one, I think we might be able to manage. "She teased. "We might have to give up some non-essentials, such as potato chip fudge ice cream."

Castle grabbed his chest. "Oh, my god, woman. What are you suggesting? Potato chip fudge ice cream is one of life's essentials. It's right up there with light sabers autographed by George Lucas."

"I suppose we'd manage to survive somehow. But we'd have extra expenses."

"If you're not working, why would we have extra expenses?"

"For the baby."

"For the baby!" Castle screamed. "You're pregnant?"

"No, I'm not pregnant. But I will be, sooner or later. Sooner I hope."

"Which bedroom should we make the nursery? Oh, will we want just one, or do you think we'll have more? We need so much stuff. A crib, and a little tub to bathe him or her in, and clothes. You have no idea how fast babies outgrow clothes. I wonder if they make a little Star Wars crib, you know, sort of like the Millennium Falcon?"

"Castle, it'll probably be a while, you know. Not tonight."

But Castle headed for his office and his laptop. "Even if they don't make Star Wars cribs we can build one."

"At least I got his mind off of us being in danger." Kate said to herself.