767. Chapter 767

After Hell Hath No Fury

Episode 1.03

By

UCSBdad

Disclaimer: Hell no, I don't own Castle. Rating: K+ Time: See above.

Author's note: What is the connection between this episode and my somewhat AU story?

"Detective Beckett, will you come into my office please?"

Although he hadn't been invited, Rick Castle quickly followed Beckett into Captain Montgomery's office. The whole team had been curious about what was going on ever since a well dressed man in his fifties had walked into the captain's office a half an hour earlier and shut the door.

"Sit down." Montgomery said, making no effort to introduce the other man. Beckett and Castle sat down. "Are you familiar with Captain Walt Kurtz over on Staten Island?"

Beckett nodded. "I know him by reputation, sir. He's somewhat…unorthodox." Beckett knew better than to speak of the rumors that went around the NYPD about Kurtz.

The other man spoke. "Walt Kurtz is a good man, a compassionate man, but his methods have become….unsound."

Montgomery spoke in a low voice. "Detective Beckett, we want you to go to Staten Island and…." He paused. "Terminate the captain's command."

"Terminate, sir?"

"With extreme prejudice." The other man added.

Beckett left Captain Montgomery's office with a hollow feeling in her gut.

"Terminate with extreme prejudice? Does that mean what I think it means?"

"Are you coming, or what, Castle?" Beckett snarled.

Due to budget cuts, Beckett wasn't able to drive her car to Staten Island, but the NYPD had arranged for an FDNY fireboat to take them on the journey. The boat's captain was called Chief. It may have been Beckett's mission, but it was Chief's boat. The crew was a surfer from New Jersey named Lint, a short order cook called Cheap and a kid from some shithole in Central Park West called Mr. Cream.

As they went down the East River, they could hear the roar of high powered engines coming from Manhattan. Chief grabbed his binoculars. "It's them." He said.

"Who?" Castle asked.

"The Worst of the Ninth." Beckett replied.

"Who are they?"

"The Ninth Precinct. They have…a reputation. Everyone hates them."

Castle frowned. "Are they crooked? Violent? A lot of police brutality? What?"

"They're meter maids."

"We'll have to go in and check in with them." Chief said.

"Castle you stay in the boat." Beckett said, knowing Castle would never stay in the boat.

When the boat docked, they found a chaotic scene. Tow trucks were towing cars, angry drivers were screaming abuse and meter maids were writing tickets as if their lives depended on it. Maybe they did? In the center of this mass of confusion was a tall, busty redheaded woman dressed entirely in black leather.

"Officer Kilgore?' Beckett said, holding up her badge. "I'm Detective Kate Beckett, Homicide, 12th Precinct. We need to get to Staten Island."

Kilgore looked past Kate at the scene before her. "I love the smell of tow trucks in the morning. It reminds me of…tow trucks in the morning."

"We'll be going now if that's all right with you." Kate said.

Castle had to say something. "Why do we have to ask some meter maid for permission to go to Staten Island?"

Suddenly there was quiet. Absolute quiet. "What did you call us?" Kilgore said in a low, dangerous voice.

"Nothing." Beckett said, grabbing Castle's hand and heading for the boat.

"He called us meter maids. We're parking enforcement officers." Kilgore screamed. "We're parking enforcement officers, maggot! Do you understand that?"

Another parking enforcement officer approached Kilgore. "We're ready for the contest, Officer Kilgore."

"What contest?" Castle asked.

"A limerick contest. Care to try to come up with one? I'll let you go if you can come up with one in five minutes."

"Officer Kilgore…" The other parking enforcement officer began.

"Shut up. You're from New Jersey! What do you know about limericks?

"I'm ready." Castle said.

Kilgore nodded.

"There once was a lady named Kate,

"And a writer she loved to hate,

"She thought him a pain,

"But he had quite a brain,

"And they ended up on a date."

As Kilgore stood there stunned, Castle and Beckett headed for the boat.

""Never get out of the boat." Absolutely goddamn right! Unless you were goin' all the way... Kurtz got off the boat. He split from the whole fuckin' program." Beckett said.

"Just who or what is Kurtz? Castle asked.

"We need fuel." The chief interrupted before Beckett could reply.

"So get some." Beckett snapped.

"There's a fuel dump by the Plowboy Club." Lint, Cheap and Mr. Cream said in unison.

"We aren't going to…." Beckett began, but it was too late. They were already headed to the sound of loud rock music.

As the boat pulled in, Beckett could see the crowd had spilled out of the Plowboy Club and onto the street. Immediately, Lint, Cheap and Cream headed for the club while Chief stayed to refuel the boat. Castle stood and looked at the three men headed for the club, then turned to Beckett. "I'm going to head over." He quickly added, "Just for research, you know. You wanna come?"

Beckett just glared at him as he hopped off the boat.

But as Beckett's eyes swept the crowd outside, she saw a slender redhead jump on an outdoor bar and start dancing. Oh, my god. She thought. That's Alexis. And Castle is so much in denial about his little girl growing up that he's never noticed the breast implants she got last year.

Beckett hopped off the boat and ran after Castle. "Hey, wait up."

He stopped and as he did, she put her arm in his. "I thought you weren't coming?"

"Did you hear me say I wasn't?"

"I guess not. Let's go over to the bar and get a drink."

"Castle, I'm on duty. I can't have a drink. Let's dance." She led him to the crowded dance floor where she spotted Alexis at once and turned Castle away from her. She watched as Alexis turned away from the bar's customers and wiggled her ass at them. The she gripped the hem of her tee shirt and pulled it over her head. She wasn't wearing a bra. The crowd cheered when Alexis turned around, but the cheers turned to boos when Alexis kept her hands over her boobs. Then she thrust her arms over her head and arched her back. The customers went wild.

"What's all the noise?' Castle asked.

"Who cares?" Beckett whispered in his ear while grinding her body against his.

"I don't." Castle muttered.

"Lemme cut in." Said a huge, tattooed outlaw biker, pushing Castle away.

Kate smiled shyly, blushed and then broke both of the biker's legs. "Dance, Castle?"

"The boat's fueled." Chief said, interrupting them. Kate considered breaking his legs for interrupting them, but thought better of it.

Once past Manhattan they headed out into the dangerous Hudson River. Chief scanned the river with his binoculars. "That boat looks like a fire hazard. I'm going to stop it and inspect it."

"Don't stop." Beckett said. Chief ignored her.

As soon as they were in range, a barrage of water balloons sailed from the other boat and crashed onto the deck of the fire boat. The other boat turned towards the fireboat. "They have Super Soakers!" Lint cried, just as a blast of water hit him.

Beckett quickly ran to the fireboats own water cannon and doused the other boat until they ran for it. She glared at Chief. "I told you not to stop."

They pulled into Staten Island with water still sloshing on their deck. However, Castle did admire the way Beckett's wet shirt clung to her. He didn't say anything, of course.

They soon found Captain Kurtz' compound. The heavy, balding man sat on a wooden chair so large it could have been a throne. He was surrounded by heavily armed denizens of Staten Island, in their colorful native dress.

Beckett strode right up to Captain Kurtz. "Captain Kurtz, I'm here to tell you that your command is being terminated. With extreme prejudice."

"Mandatory retirement because of my age?"

"I'm afraid so."

"Bummer." Kurtz said, heading to his desk to clear it out.

"That's it?" Castle whispered.

"There'll be something else." Beckett whispered back.

Kate woke up next morning snuggled against Rick in the bedroom of his loft. He found him staring at her.

"I'm amazed you're here." He said.

"All you had to do was let me know you were interested. All that it took was that limerick."

Rick smiled.

"There once was a man named Castle,

"Whose love life was a hassle,

"Then he found gorgeous Kate,

"Who soon was his mate,

"And of kids they had quite a passel."

Kate just laughed.