792. Chapter 792

After Boom!

Episode 2.18

By

UCSBdad

Disclaimer: And then, BOOM! I realized I don't own Castle! Rating: K Time: See above.

Kate let herself into the loft and looked around for Castle. She found him sitting in his darkened office, staring out the window.

"How are you doing?" She asked.

There was a pause before he replied. "Okay." He said softly.

"You're okay? You're sure?"

He shrugged. "All things considered."

"You didn't do anything wrong."

Again there was a pause. "I know."

"I'm not mad at you. Not at all."

She thought she heard a dry laugh from him. "I'm sure you're not."

"No one else is, either. You know that, too."

"I know. I know." He sounded like he was becoming a bit testy.

She walked over to him and took his arm. "You need a drink. How about a nice glass of wine?"

"I don't think…" But she was pulling him to the living room and sat him down on the couch while she went to the kitchen to get the wine. She came back, handed him the wine and sat down next to him, very close to him. He could feel the warmth of her thigh against his.

"I understand how you feel."

He nodded. "You would."

"Drink your wine, Castle."

He took a small sip and began to put the wine glass down. She caught his hand, gently moved the glass to his lips and lifted the glass, making him take more wine. "Better?" She asked.

"Yeah." He took another long drink of wine.

She pulled his head over so that it rested on her shoulder. "Just relax and don't think."

"Beckett, I can look down the front of your blouse and see your boobs."

She smiled. "I'm wearing a bra, so this time it's okay. Look all you want."

He relaxed, but it all began to come back to him. Dunn standing there, the gun trained on Beckett. He could see the fear on Beckett's face. No, He thought, I couldn't see her face from where I was. That's just my imagination. Damned imagination. Dunn speaking, "That's how all my stories end. With someone else dead." Castle had raised his gun and fired instinctually. He saw the flash of red on Dunn's forehead, then his head snapped back and he crashed to the floor.

Agent Shaw rushed in and checked Dunn. He didn't recall her saying anything, but he knew she'd told him Dunn was dead.

Beckett had spoken. "Hell of a shot, Castle." He hadn't said a word to her. He wasn't sure when he'd actually said anything.

Kate ran her hand over his forehead. "Penny for your thoughts."

Several wise ass remarks sprang to mind, but he couldn't say them. "I keep remembering Dunn. Remembering that I killed him."

"You do remember he was going to kill me, right?" She said softly.

"Of course. Don't get me wrong, put me in the same situation a million times and I'd kill Dunn a million times. I'd kill him as slowly and as painfully as possible to keep him from hurting you. But….I killed someone. Even if it's someone like Dunn, I'm a killer now."

Kate nodded. "So am I. I killed Dick Coonan. I cried."

"You cried because the one link you had to your mom's killer was gone."

"Yes, that's true. But I also cried because I had killed a man. I'm not supposed to be judge, jury and executioner, but I was. And oddly that hurt me."

"Coonan didn't give you any choice."

She ran her hand over his cheek. "Neither did Dunn give you a choice."

"Touché, Detective Beckett."

They sat in silence for several minutes.

"I found out from Montgomery that there won't be a shooting team investigating the death of Dunn."

"I thought that was standard?"

"For police. You're not a cop. They have no jurisdiction. There won't be any criminal charges either, and apparently me giving you my back up weapon is going to be overlooked."

"Yeah, Richard Castle, the non-cop."

"Hey, you may not be a cop according to One PP, but you're my partner and all the cop I need."

He smiled for the first time. "Thanks."

"But, both Montgomery and Shaw want you to come in tomorrow and give a statement for the files. Okay? You don't have to be there until you feel like it."

"I'll go in with you."

"You don't have to, you know."

"I'd rather."

"Sure, anything you want. After all, you saved my life. Anything else you'd like?"

He smiled again. "Actually, I'd like to just stay right here and stare at your boobs."

She almost said something, but didn't. "Stare all you want. I gave you permission."

When Castle woke up, his head was in Beckett's lap and she had her head back, sound asleep. "Dammit!" He muttered.

Beckett woke up. "What time is it?"

"About midnight. Do you want something to eat? We missed dinner."

"No, luckily, all I have to do since my place was blown up to get home now is go upstairs. Good night, Castle." She got up and headed for the stairs.

"Don't forget I'm going in with you tomorrow."

The next morning Beckett called Esposito while Castle was in the shower. "Javi, I'm bringing Castle in for the statement. I don't want anyone to mention in any way that he killed Dunn. He's upset about becoming a killer."

"Why? From all the crap we got from Dunn's apartment, we're closing homicides for departments all across the country. Dunn was a seriously evil dude. And he tried to kill you."

"Castle knows all that and he still feels bad. He'll get over it, but just make sure everyone keeps their mouths closed. Okay?"

"Whatever you say."

When Castle and Beckett came into the homicide bullpen, everyone got very busy being very busy and ignored Castle. They walked to Captain Montgomery's office and saw Agent Shaw inside. Before they could enter, a portly, older man stopped them.

"Detective Beckett? Mr. Castle? I'm Marty Abramowitz. I retired from the Six Five and now I work for the police union. I'm just here to see that no one takes advantage of Detective Beckett."

"I don't really need anyone…" Castle began.

"Mr. Castle, you're not a cop. But you did use Detective Beckett's sidearm in the unfortunate affair. I'm here for her, not for you."

Beckett looked past Abramowitz at Esposito who looked resolutely away from her.

The statement took no time at all and Castle and Beckett were back out in the bullpen. While Castle talked to Agent Avery, Shaw talked to Beckett.

"He cares for you, Kate. You may not see it, you may not be ready to, but he does."

She nodded. "I care for him, too. But, well, the situation with Castle is complicated."

Shaw shook her head. "It's complicated for you, maybe, but not for him, Kate. It isn't at all complicated for him."

And that gave Kate Beckett a lot to think about.