865. Chapter 865

After The Lives of Others

Episode 5.19

By

UCSBdad

Disclaimer: If you think I own Castle, someone's playing a prank on you. Rating: K Time: See above.

Lord Richard Castle, world famous scientist, explorer, writer, sportsman, sailor, flyer and a host of other things grumped to his beautiful American born wife, Lady Katherine. "Dash it all, Kate. I hate to see you going off to the Royal Geographic Society without me. I was so looking forward to hear your presentation on our trek up Mt. Kilimanjaro." In fact, the trek had been the doing of Kate and Lord Castle's equally brainy and beautiful daughter, Lady Alexis. Alas, even in liberal, enlightened England at the end of the nineteenth century, women were still considered the weaker sex and a woman with brains was scorned and not celebrated as she should have been. Accordingly, Lady Katherine and Lady Alexis had decided to attribute all of their accomplishments to Lord Castle.

"Alexis will be going with me as will Victoria, our maid and Jenny, our cook. Demming is not allowed in the premises of the Royal Geographic Club for reasons that are known too well." Lady Kathrine directed a withering glare at Demning, who whined and hid behind Lord Castle.

Demming, the second of that name to serve the Castles, was a Tibetan mastiff, with some peculiar qualities. One night, he had wandered into the laboratory used by the ladies and imbibed some experimental potions. The result was a remarkable increase in the dog's intellect. Since then, Demming had snuck into the laboratory at every opportunity and had succeeded in further raising his intelligence, growing opposable thumbs and managing to walk upright. He also managed to learn to talk, but as his canine mouth was unsuited for speech, he spoke with a French accent. This embarrassed him to no end as he saw himself as English through and through.

"I shall return before dinner and Alexis and I will look to your injured foot again. I am so glad that you were able to talk Oxford into allowing her to read medicine there. She hopes to make the world a better place. And do try to be careful. I don't want you injuring your foot again."

Lord Castle nodded. "I never should have tried to race Demming down Mt. Kilimanjaro on skis. Dashed bad luck that I tripped."

Demming, who had tripped Lord Castle and thereby won ten quid, wisely said nothing.

Lady Katherine left and Lord Castle found himself bored after only five minutes without the love of his life.

"Drat! Demming, I'm bored. I need to be doing something."

Demming removed a deck of marked cards from his jacket. "We could play some cards, mi'lor. It weel take your min' off the magnificent derriere of 'er ladyship."

"Really, Demming. That's quite uncouth of you. Lady Kate's, um, qualities seen while walking away are not for you to comment on."

Demming smiled and took out a pair of loaded dice. "Per'aps another game of chance?" Although there were no games of chance where Demming was concerned. He had won all of the pocket money of the young gentlemen in the neighborhood for many months now.

Lord Castle shook his head. "I think I shall sit and look out the window and ponder the beauty of nature." With that, Lord Castle fired up the steam powered mobile chair of his own design and moved to the window, looking out on the grounds of Stately Castle Manor, just outside of London.

Feeling a bit bored himself, Demming went to Lady Alexis' room and brought out her telescope. Lady Alexis had recently become the center of attention at the Royal Astronomy Society by proving that there were no canals on Mars as Percival Lowell had claimed. She held them to be optical illusions.

"Demming! What are you doing?" Lord Castle demanded. "You know you are not supposed to touch Lady Alexis' things."

Demming said nothing and continued to set up the telescope. Then he peered through the eyepiece. "Zut alors! Quelle magnifique! 'Ave a look, mi'lor."

Lord Castle, overcome by curiosity looked through the telescope and as quickly pulled away. "Demming! You're looking into Lady Flashman's maid's quarters. Why I could see the woman's ankles! Put that away at once."

But Demming was back looking through the telescope. "Sacre bleu! Name of a name! You must observe."

"I shall not." Said Lord Castle hotly. "That is ungentlemanly. In is un-English. It is French!"

But Demming pulled Lord Castle's head over to the telescope. What he saw shocked him. The maid was now tied up upon her bed and a rough looking fellow was standing over her with a mask on. "We must do something, Demming! Oh, drat. The Flashman's are in South Africa. The poor girl is all alone with that ruffian. Call the police at once!"

Demming ran to the telephone, but too late Demming remembered he had pilfered the cheque that was to pay the telephone company to enable him to buy some dog treats for a lovely Irish wolfhound he had been enamored with. He quickly ran back to Lord Castle. "The couchon must have cut the wires." He lied.

"Then it's up to us!" Lord Castle said.

"I shall run for the help from le flics." Said Demming, thinking he would stop at Ye Olde Squat and Gobble Pub until someone else ran the ruffian off.

"No!" Lord Castle said, grabbing Demming's jacket. "Pull me to the stables. Demming. I shall use my electric horse to ride over and save the fair damsel."

Demming sighed and pulled Lord Castle to the cleverly designed lift he had built in his mansion and hence to the stables. Castle checked that the batteries were fully charged and with his powerful arms, pulled himself up into the saddle.

Demming was happy to watch Lord Castle ride off and planned to cheer him on from the safety of Stately Castle Manor. However, the mechanical horse, perhaps having a mind of its own, recognized Demming and reared up, just missing the mastiff with its hooves. In fright, Demming jumped up behind Lord Castle.

"That's the spirit, Demming." Castle put his electrical steed in motion, crying, "I see you stand like greyhounds in the slips, straining upon the start. The game's afoot. Follow your spirit and cry God for Harry! England and St. George."

Demming who had never liked the bloodier Shakespeare plays, said a few things in French that neither the Bard, King Henry V, nor Lord Castle would have approved of.

Dashing towards the Flashman's home, Lord Castle jumped his steed over the gate in front, which caused Demming to soil his trousers. Then the brave Lord smashed through the front door and raced through the house to the maid's quarters. They burst through her door to find the young girl in a state of undress with the masked ruffian atop her.

"Unhand that woman!" Roared Lord Castle," Or I shall be forced to have Demming here thrash you soundly."

Before Demming could mention that he'd left his thrashing clothes at home, the young lady spoke. "Oh, please sir. Don't tell my parents. They have forbidden me to see Clive here."

Clive took off his mask. "Hello, Lord Castle. It's me, the Honorable Clive Fern-Barr, younger son of the Duke of Earl and I'm madly in love with Priscilla here, but her father is in trade and pater won't allow the match."

Castle stared at the young lady from atop his electric steed. "You're not a maid. You're Miss Priscilla Hogg-Tyed. But why this….masquerade?"

"Just a bit of fun, Lord Castle. She pretends to be a maid and I pretend to be a robber. It's all in fun."

"Ou est la plume de ma tante!" Expostulated Demming. "Your so called 'armless fun 'as caused much damage. Vous are indeed fortunate that I have friends in the construction trade in New Jersey. For a mere ten thousand pounds, I can have them repair the damage that was caused."

"Oh, thank you, sir." Said Clive and Priscila together. "We'll be happy to pay."

When Lady Katherine returned home she checked on her husband and found him playing chess with Demming. Demming was losing, as usual.

"How was your day, Dearest?" She asked, feeling sad that she had left her husband alone.

"Quite boring, as is my life whenever you are not with me, Kate."

"That's sweet. I shall be extra nice to you later."

As Kate left, Castle and Demming bumped their fists.