31. Chapter 31

Chapter 31

Beckett had been out of the hospital for two weeks. She and Castle had just come home from her first doctor's appointment, and she was exhausted and in pain…and irritable. After refusing to use a wheelchair, she had expected some discomfort from the impact of all the walking; but she hadn't counted on being so winded as well.

When she stopped at the door and leaned against the wall before going any farther, Castle advised as he closed the door, "You should sit down and catch your breath."

"Ya think, Castle?" she snapped wearily, moving away from the wall to get to the sofa.

"Hey, I was perfectly willing to push the wheelchair, so don't take it out on me," Castle answered as he headed to the kitchen to get her a bottle of water and something for the pain.

There was a knock on the door, and Beckett, not having moved very far from it yet, turned to answer it.

"Lanie? Come in. With all the overtime you've put in this week, I'm surprised you have the energy to visit. I'm actually surprised you still have the energy to stand."

"I don't. Looks like you don't, either. Girl, sit down before you fall down," Lanie scolded. "You're out of breath, and you look like I could push you over with one finger."

Beckett didn't argue, just went to the sofa, sat down, and leaned her head back in relief.

"Hey, Lanie," Castle called from across the room.

"Hey, Writer-Man."

"Have you had lunch? I was about to order something. Kate wore herself out being stubborn and didn't even feel like waiting in the car long enough for me to go in and pick something up."

"Why am I not surprised?" Lanie answered as Kate shot Castle a glowering look. "I finally got some time off," Lanie told them, "and I wanted to stop by and see how things are going and what the doctor said. If I had gone home first, I wouldn't be here for a couple of days. 'Cause when I get home, I'm planning to sleep that long." She plopped down on a chair across from her friend and asked Castle, "So what's for lunch?"

"I was about to call Remy's," Castle answered as he placed the bottle of water on the table next to his wife and dropped the pills in her hand. "We're both having milkshake and cheeseburger withdrawal."

"Remy's sounds great, but they don't deliver, do they?"

"No, but I can call it in and have somebody pick it up."

"He knows a guy," Beckett teased, softening a bit; and Castle smiled back at her.

He made a couple of phone calls as the women talked, told them lunch would be there soon, kissed his wife on the top of her head, and went to his office to give them time to talk.

"So you're answering the door now?" Lanie asked.

"Sometimes. It's a getting a little easier to move around. I won't be seeing normal for a while yet, but better is a welcome change. Small blessings."

"Are you breathing easier…when you aren't being stubborn?"

"Same as the moving around. Not normal, but better. If I try to take on too much, my ribs remind me they don't approve. I guess I'm lucky I'm down to heavy discomfort instead of rip-roaring pain. The doctor pointed out how badly my ribs were damaged, how much had to be repaired…and suggested that I need to develop more patience."

"Uh-huh. You had that same conversation with Meagan, didn't you?"

"Shut up," Beckett answered good naturedly.

Lanie just laughed. "What else did he say?"

"That everything looked good…for somebody three weeks out from being shot and losing part of a lung."

"Is your boy still being patient?"

"He's better than I deserve. I get ornery and snap at him, but he just takes it in stride; then, after a while I'll pull myself back together and apologize. We're okay. I know how lucky I am to have him. God, Lanie, I love him so much it scares me."

"Yeah. Nobody can miss that. Neither one of you hides it well."

Kate nodded. "We're a little disgusting, aren't we?"

"A little," Lanie admitted with a smile. "Looks like he's still right on top of whatever you need."

"He is. It's entirely foreign to his general 'I have to take care of my family' nature, but he's trying hard to let me do things for myself as much as I can. Getting the staples and stitches out made it a little easier to move. It doesn't pull quite as much now around the incisions."

"The smaller ones should feel pretty normal before long, but that long one on your side is going to take longer."

"That's what still slows me down…that and the ribs. I still can't lift that arm above my shoulder without pain, and moving the other one somehow pulls at some of the same muscles. I don't think Rick minds that I still need some help washing my hair and my back, though," she admitted. "He gets to share the shower."

Lanie gave a little snort of humor. "I'm sure he doesn't."

"I talked him into getting rid of the shower chair this morning. He's being so careful it drives me crazy sometimes."

"It's because he nearly lost you. He's isn't over being scared. You need to be happy that he loves you as much as he does. There was a time you didn't make it easy for him."

"We both have nightmares sometimes, Kate admitted softly. "I wish I could spare him that."

"Honey, I think that's pretty normal, too. That's why there's a mandatory psych eval before you go back to work. Might not hurt to suggest that your other half should see somebody, too. This was pretty traumatic for the entire family. Think about it, okay?"

Kate just nodded, looking thoughtful.

"Is your dad still staying here?"

"Until the end of the week. I think he was waiting until after the appointment today to see what the doctor said. Everybody in the family has helped take care of me. They took turns so they could all do what they needed to do…and probably to equally distribute time spent with the irritating patient."

They both chuckled and then talked until the Remy's order arrived.

Castle answered the door and paid the young man who delivered the food. "Where do you want to eat?" he asked his wife. "Want me to bring it to you there?"

"I think I can sit at the table long enough to eat."

"What if I don't want to move?" Lanie challenged playfully and made a big show of dragging herself out of her chair.

They all chatted through lunch, and then Lanie took her dishes to the kitchen and gathered her belongings.

"Don't get up, Kate," she insisted. "Take good care of Little Miss Grumpy there," she said as Castle walked her to the door. Looking directly at Kate, she said "And give it a couple of weeks before you try to do as much as you did today. Work up to it. Don't just jump into it. You need some sleep, too. Do something about that, understand?"

"You're so pushy," Beckett answered with a smile. "Thanks for coming by."

"Thanks for lunch," she said to Castle before she left. "When I get home I don't even need to eat. Nothing stands between me and some quality time with my pillows."

Castle closed the door and then went back and took the rest of the dishes to the kitchen. "She's right, you know. You overdid it this morning. You should lie down for a while."

"It may surprise you to know that Little Miss Grumpy agrees with both of you. Thank you for putting up with me."

He came back from the kitchen, put his arms around her gently after she stood up, and asked with an easy smile, "What did you think I'd do…throw you out because you got shot and were cantankerous about it? You put up with a lot from me sometimes, too. I'm toning that down until you're better, then I'll get you back," he teased and planted a little kiss on her lips. "And when your PT has progressed that far, Alexis and I have agreed that we're buying you a lightsaber so we can help you out."

"Lightsaber duels, huh? Sounds like fun. Add that to the list."

"I'll do that after you're lying down. Come on. I'll tuck you in. My reward for putting up with cantankerous Kate?"

"I want to start checking more off that list in the nightstand, too," she told him as they walked. "You've got some big rewards coming on that front."

"And when we're sure it won't cause you any new problems, I'll be exceptionally happy to help. We've managed a few of the little ones." By then they were standing next to the bed, and he kissed her long and slow, keeping it loving rather that sexual. "Do you want to get out of some of your clothes first?"

"Shirt and slacks," she answered, stepping out of her shoes and unfastening her slacks to let them fall so she could step out of them. Castle helped with the knit top.

"I'll be glad when I can wear a bra again," she complained. "I felt a little exposed this morning. But the band on them still hurts the incision under my arm, and getting one on or off, even if it fastens in front, is still too hard."

"Then you'll just have to keep depending on my help for a while and stay on top of your PT. And we'll have to keep working on what Meagan showed us to discourage the scar tissue. It's going to get better eventually

"I hope so. The last thing I need is to be bouncing when I'm chasing down a suspect."

"Well, for now, just chase down a nap." With bare breasts right in front of him, Castle bent the index finger of one hand and gently smoothed it across angry red mark on her chest, asking softly, "How much does it still hurt?"

"A lot less than it did at the hospital, but it still hurts."

He leaned his head down and kissed the healing wound. "I hate seeing you hurt."

"It's probably improving as we speak," she answered, wrapping her arms loosely around his waist and giving him a loving smile.

"And why is that?"

"You just kissed it better."

He gave her his smirky smile and very gently pinched her bottom.

"Hey, I thought you didn't like to see me hurt," she teased flirtatiously.

"Only when you're mocking me. Get in," he ordered mischievously. And she did. When she was comfortable, he pulled the covers up over her and leaned to kiss her forehead, then her lips.

"I love you," Kate said.

"Another reward," he answered with a smile. "Get some rest." He then went to the kitchen and added lightsaber duels to Kate's ever growing list of goals, smiling at all the little things she had been able to check off. The list had been one of his best ideas ever. The family had spontaneously fallen into helping to make it, and the checking off was usually done around dinner, when most of the family was there to help celebrate Kate's small victories.

Castle was writing when, almost simultaneously, Kate woke and Alexis got home.

"I'm in my office," he called out to whoever might want to know.

His daughter was there almost instantly, pausing barely long enough to drop her purse on the couch. "How did the doctor's visit go?" she asked.

Kate had barely had time to struggle back into her shirt when the front door opened, and she had both legs in her pants by the time Alexis got to the office but was still pulling them up. Then she walked into the office with all the dignity she could muster, bed head and all. Kate gave Alexis the doctor's report, and Castle gave her the stubborn report…all of which Alexis would relay to Martha and Jim when they got home later.

"Want me to brush your hair?" Alexis asked.

"That would be nice," Kate answered. "The brush is on the vanity in the bathroom."

Alexis got the hairbrush and made quick work of taming Kate's hair. "Do you feel okay? Dad said you kind of overdid it this morning."

"I did, but can we let it go? Lanie and your dad have already hammered me for it, and I admitted my sins to him before I took a nap."

Alexis smiled and answered, "Not another word. I'm just glad to know the doctor is happy with your progress."

Taking the hairbrush from her stepdaughter, Kate looked at it as if it were a foreign object. "When did I start saying, 'Sure, Kid. Go ahead and brush my hair for me?' I have some serious readjusting to do."

"I offered, remember. Would you do the same for me?"

"Of course I would."

"Then don't worry about it. Consider it payback for all the French braids and hairdresser services before dates and parties. You did those things because you love me, right?"

"Right," she said, taking Alexis's hand and absent-mindedly rubbing her thumb across the opal ring Alexis had worn since Kate's first day at the hospital.

"Then we're even." Turning to her father, the teenager said, "I'll be in my room a little while. I promised Ash I'd call when I got home."

"Okay. See you later," he answered.

"You have a really good kid," Kate said as she watched Alexis leave.

"We have a really good kid, Kate. She knows she has a mother, and she's old enough she doesn't need a mommy anymore; but she sees you as the mother figure she's always wanted…as somebody she can always depend on. She sees you as hers, too, not just mine; and I think she needs you almost as much as I do. She enjoys being able to help you."

"It's just...I feel like a leech right now. I feel like helping me is wearing down the entire family. Somebody is always having to alter a schedule or stop what they're doing because of something I can't do for myself. I can't help the rest of you, and if I try, you won't let me. I can't run my own errands. It's even still hard to shower or wash my hair alone. I feel like such a burden."

Castle saved the document on his computer, walked over to the sofa where Kate was sitting, and pulled her gently into his lap. "I hope you don't think I see you that way. Kate. We've been helping each other with errands and other ordinary things for most of the last year, and we've been shoring each other up when one of us needs it for longer than that. We help each other shower and wash our hair all the time. Why should that feel like a burden just because you need it right now? I still enjoy touching you, and you know I've always enjoyed playing with your hair. Getting you in and out of your clothes isn't a bad deal for me, either…especially getting you out of them," he added with his signature eyebrow waggle. And nobody has minded bringing you things or helping with whatever has made you comfortable. Instead of worrying about being a burden, try to find some joy in the fact that you have four other family members and three good friends who love you enough to willingly be there to help."

"I'm just so tired of feeling dependent. I hate not having full control of my body."

"I know," he soothed, but it's already getting better. "You overdid it this morning, but you got through it. You're the extraordinary KB. You've got this. It's going to take a while longer to get back to normal, but you heard the doctor. He said he expects you to make a full recovery. So just go with whatever it takes to get there. Nobody in this family thinks you're a burden."

She curled into him and stated firmly, "I want to help with dinner tonight. I can still slice and dice and measure…and help set the table if somebody gets the dishes down for me. It might take me a little longer than usual, but I need to feel useful again. I feel like I'm being treated like an invalid right now."

"Then we'll start putting you back to work," Castle answered.

Kate chuckled at his teasing smile and said, "High time," then poked him in the ribs.

From there, they sat exactly as they were and alternately talked and simply enjoyed being together for another few minutes. Then Kate got up to do her PT stretches, and Castle went back to his desk to finish the last few paragraphs of the chapter he was working on.

Kate helped with their meal that night, and everybody cheered as she crossed "a trip outside the loft" off her goals list. She then spent some time with her father.

xxxxx

After dinner the next night, Kate helped with clearing the table, but nobody would let her do more. Her father helped, too, and then he went to get his suitcases. After stopping at his apartment for a few things now and then, more than he realized had migrated to the guest room at the loft.

"Jim, I'll miss you. It was nice to have another male in the house," Castle said as his father-in-law came down the stairs.

"I'll miss you, too, Grandad," Alexis echoed. "You'll come back soon, right?"

"I'll definitely be back sometime soon. I'll miss you, too."

"Richard liked having another man around. I enjoyed having someone closer to my age. You're welcome any time."

"Thank you, all of you, for letting me be here all this time. It meant a lot to be around to help Katie. I'm glad she has this family."

"You have this family, too, Jim. Don't ever doubt that," Castle assured him. "We've all enjoyed having you here. After Kate's next doctor visit, we're all going to the Hamptons for the rest of the summer. You're welcome to join us there whenever you have the time. Sun, sand, pool, ocean breezes, relaxation…your daughter. Are you interested yet?"

"You make a good case, Rick. I'll see if I can work it into my schedule."

Kate had stood on the sidelines letting Castle's family say their good-byes before she wrapped her arms around her father's waist and rested her head on his shoulder. "Thank you for being here, Dad," she almost whispered. "It was nice seeing you every day."

"I liked that, too, Katie Bug. My apartment's going to feel a little lonely the next few days."

"You can always call…or come and visit," she said hopefully.

"I will, Baby Girl," he promised and kissed her forehead when she lifted her head. "You take care of yourself. Don't be too stubborn too often."

"I'll do my best, but you know I can be a lost cause sometimes on that score."

"I'm pretty sure Rick knows that, too," he teased.

That brought a chuckle from both his daughter and his son-in-law.

Kate kissed his cheek, and he moved away to get his luggage.

"Let me help you get that downstairs," Castle offered. "I called a town car to get you home. If we have to let you go, it might as well be in comfort." He took the larger bag before Jim reached it, Jim got the smaller one and a duffel bag, and they left.

"It already feels like the loft is missing something," Martha observed. "I got used to having him around."

"Me, too. I like having a granddad around," Alexis agreed.

"Well, now you're stuck with only your grandmother again," Martha said dramatically, grabbing Alexis for a teasing hug. "And poor Katherine is stuck with only her damned old mother-in-law."

Kate laughed along with them. "Dad liked being with us. He'll be back."

Castle came back smiling. Looking at his wife, he reported, "He said to tell you to behave yourself…not to make him come back here and turn you over his knee."

Kate smiled. "He used to tell me that, but he never did it." Changing the subject, she said, "Meagan will be back tomorrow. She said we'd add to the PT routine if everything went as well as she expected with the doctor."

"Two weeks and we'll be in the Hamptons again," Alexis said with a smile. You can do some of your workout on the beach…or by the pool.

"I think I'll ask if we can do some Yoga moves by then," Kate said.

"If you do, could I do them with you? I'd thought about taking a yoga class. Maybe you could help me?"

"Certainly, Grasshopper," Kate answered with a grin, and both women giggled.

Castle put an arm around Martha's shoulders as he watched his wife and daughter together and whispered to his mother, "I told you my dreams come true."

He felt satisfied that he had been there to do his share of helping with the initial parts of her recovery.

Everyone in the family knew Kate had a long way to go but they all helped her rejoice in crossing off her small victories from the list of goals they had started in the hospital.

In spite of periodic fits of pique, everyone, including Kate, was seeing noticeable degrees of progress.