156. Chapter 156

Chapter 156

"You want to meet Richard?! What makes you think he would want to give you the time of day, let alone sit down for a chat?"

"Curiosity. It's part of his DNA. It's what makes his books as good as they are, makes him enough of a detective to help Beckett's team raise their solve numbers. Relentless curiosity, needing to know the whole story. Add to the mix the opportunity to rake me over the coals on your behalf…" He shrugged. "Even if he hates me, I think he'd meet me. If he chooses not to, I'll accept that. But please, Martha, let it be his choice. Please."

"Why? What do you hope to accomplish after being absent for his first forty-six years? Are you hoping to worm your way into his life after all this time? Use him to pad your retirement account? What?"

Alex sighed and ran his hand through his hair again…very much the way Castle often did. "I don't spend much of my own money. I work most of the time, and the government pays for the travel and per diems. My own money has been accruing for years. I have more than enough now to very comfortably fund my own retirement. I just want to meet him face to face when he knows who I am, give him an explanation, answer his questions, take any abuse he needs to heap on me…talk to him man to man…just once. Please, Martha. I didn't want to do an end run around you."

"I'll talk to him. But if he decides against it, I won't intercede to change his mind for you. It will be entirely his decision."

"Thank you."

"So, what cloak and dagger method are you using to arrange his visit?"

"I'll be at his book signing tomorrow, probably not looking quite like this, though. I'll bring a copy of a Derrick Storm book with a note in it…an address where he can meet me. If he wants to ignore me, he can hand it back to me and I'll leave him alone."

"Fine," Martha sighed as she stood to leave. Alex stood and walked her to the door, touching her upper arm.

"Will you allow me to say a proper goodbye this time?"

She looked up at him, and he leaned forward and placed a gentle, lingering kiss on her lips. Martha participated in the kiss then stepped back. "Call that closure," she told him.

"I'll give Richard a way to contact me if any of you need me, but I won't try to contact you again. I just wanted you to know I never intended to leave you the way I did. Enjoy your life and your family, Martha. You've earned it. You deserve it."

She kissed his cheek and conceded, "I suppose I should thank you for giving me Richard. It wasn't easy for us, but he's been the biggest joy of my life."

"I wish things could have been different, but please believe that the day and night I spent with you is the best memory I have."

"Goodbye, Alexander."

When the door closed, Alex went back and sat for a few minutes, leaning back in his chair with his eyes closed before he rose and slipped out the back door of the restaurant and disappeared into the Paris streets.

Martha met Kate at the table where she was waiting, and Kate asked, "Are you okay?"

Martha nodded, stood a little taller, and squared her shoulders. "I'll tell you when we get back to the hotel."

Kate hooked her arm around Martha's, and they went outside to hail a taxi.

"Did you believe him?" Kate asked quietly.

"It has to wait until we're back at the hotel, Katherine, I want to talk to you first. Then I need to speak to Richard."

"Whatever you need, Martha. Anything. Anytime."

Martha patted Kate's hand and looked out the window pensively as they rode through Paris.

They reached the hotel before the men had returned, and they went to Martha's room for privacy. She recounted most of the visit to Kate, and Kate listened without interruption.

Again she asked, "Did you believe him?"

"I was doubtful at first. I wanted to hate him, but I couldn't. He seemed sincere and honest…and kind of lonely. I caught myself almost feeling sorry for him." There was a short pause, and a little snort that sounded like humor before a more confidant sounding Martha added, "But I'm sure I'll get over that as soon as the shock wears off."

Kate smiled. "So you parted on good terms?"

Martha took a deep breath and exhaled as she slumped a little bit again. "He kissed me and said goodbye. He doesn't intend to contact us again unless we need his help for some reason, and that's probably for the best. He said he doesn't deserve me and told me to enjoy my family and my life…that I'd earned it." There was another little pause. "He told me John is a good man. I don't like that he knows so many details about us. It's beyond disconcerting."

"Is that all of it?"

"No." She turned to face Kate. "He wants to meet Richard. He knows way too much about him, too. Personal things, personality traits he shouldn't be aware of."

"If everything he told you is true, he'd certainly have ways to. Jordan referred to their most productive CIA contact as a ghost. That might be him. He did say one of his specialties was hiding in plain sight." She took Martha's hand in both of hers and asked, "Do you want me to talk to Rick?"

"No. I'm his mother. He had to live his life suffering with me through the difficulties my decisions created in mine. He should hear it from me." She looked thoughtful for a long moment. "But, Katherine, having Richard, seeing him grow into the good man he is…it was worth all of it…at least to me. So have him come and talk to me. I'll explain everything and let him make his own decision. He'll need you to take care of him afterward. He jokes about it and laughs it off; but under all that, he wants answers that he's probably afraid to face."

"I'll send him as soon as he gets back."

xxxxx

About ten minutes into Kate's restless pacing around their hotel room as she waited for him, Castle opened the door and Jamie came bounding in telling her they had fun.

"Daddy bought a big ball, and we threw it to each other, and then we kicked it to each other in the park."

"Did all of you play? JD and both Grandpas, too?"

"Uh-huh. And JD chased me. Then I chased him."

"And gave the older dudes a breather," Castle whispered.

Kate smiled in response, but her husband knew her well, and there was a vibe of something not being quite right.

"Jamie, why don't you find some quiet toys to play with in your room. Pick out a couple of books first and then play a little while, and we'll read your books later."

"Will you play with me?"

"Let me talk to Mommy first. You've had me all morning."

"Okay." He galloped off to his room and they heard the toy suitcase being unzipped.

"What's up? You look like a bundle of nerves."

"Don't worry. Everybody is fine. Nothing is wrong exactly. But your mother wants to talk to you. I told her I'd send you over as soon as you got back."

"That's pretty cryptic. Any explanation?"

"Just go talk to your mom. Help me keep my promises." She put both hands on his face, stood on tiptoes, and kissed him firmly, then said, "Go."

"I feel like I'm being sent to the firing squad." His wife made shooing motions, and he held his hands up in defeat. "Fine. I'll be with la diva." He felt better that he finally got a good smile from Kate before he walked down the hall and knocked on the door of his mother's room.

"Mother, Kate said you wanted to see me." Sensing the same edginess in his mother that he had felt in Kate, he asked, "What has the two of you upset?"

"There's no easy way to break this, so I'm going to just blurt it out. I got a text after you left, and I saw your father this afternoon."

"You what?!" Castle asked, a good bit louder than he intended. "You should have waited until I was here to go with you."

"Katherine went with me and checked the place we met...and she waited to be sure I got back safely. I didn't wait for you because you would have gone in and blustered at him in my defense. He said he owed me an explanation…and I think I needed to hear it without company."

She told him everything she had told Kate about the meeting, and finished with, "The other reason he got in touch with me was that he wants to meet you."

"Why?"

"He just said he wanted to meet you when you know who he is."

"Have I met him when I didn't know who he was?"

"Twice, apparently. The man at the library…Casino Royale."

"That was my father?"

"So he says. And you never mentioned it to me, but he remembered making paper airplanes with you in a little neighborhood park."

"I made paper airplanes with my father?" He dropped onto the sofa next to Martha. "I liked him…both times, and both times he seemed to enjoy talking to me…and he didn't tell me…"

"He said he isn't trying to find a way into your life. He just wants to talk to you, explain, let you ask questions, say whatever you need to say…including, I think he phrased it, 'taking any abuse you need to heap on him.'" After a little pause, she added, "And he said he fed information to the FBI to help take Bracken down. He said to let the choice be yours; so after you verbally thrash him for being absent all your life, you might want to thank him for that."

"Are you asking me to meet him?"

"I've thought about it since I left him earlier, and he was right, Richard. You've always wanted the story, the answers…about everything. Sooner or later, if you don't talk to him, you'll wish you had."

"How do I contact him…if I decide to meet him?"

Martha conveyed the book signing plan, and Castle nodded. "He may not look like my description, though. He mentioned that specifically. He honestly seemed concerned about our safety if we were connected to him; and if he's telling the truth, I guess he's doing the spy thing to cover it." They sat side by side on the sofa in silence for a short time before Martha broke the silence. "What do we tell Alexis?"

"Nothing until I've met him…maybe not then. I don't know." A moment later, he asked, "How are you doing with all this, Mother? This was a major bolt out of the blue for you, too."

"I honestly don't know yet. I think I'm still too shocked to process it." Castle put his arm around his mother's shoulders and pulled her into a hug on the sofa. "If you need me, no matter what time of the day or night…"

"I know. And Katherine made the same offer. I'll be all right. Go and talk to your wife and decide what you're going to do. Tomorrow is our last day in Paris, and who knows when or if you'll ever have another chance to get your answers."

Castle stood, and Martha walked him to the door. He pulled her into a long hug, each of them clinging to the other, and told her, "I love you."

"I know that. I love you, too."

"Day or night, Mother. Both of us, either of us, whatever you need."

She held him a little tighter and said, "I know." Then she pulled away and insisted, "Now go and let that wonderful wife of yours take care of you. Talk to her. Decide what you're going to do. Either way, you have my blessings."

When Castle returned to his room, he looked a bit pale.

"Come and sit down with me," Kate encouraged. "Do you want a drink?"

He nodded and sat down on the loveseat in the main room, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees and his hands clasped in front of him. Kate took a bottle from the little refrigerator, poured the contents in a glass and sat down next to him. He took the glass, and drank a good bit of it in one gulp, then returned to the same position, holding the glass. What do I do, Kate? Part of me wants to find him right now, but part of me wants to ignore him, to ignore him the way he ignored us…and hope it would hurt him the same way. The trouble is it probably wouldn't hurt him that much. If I don't meet him, I might never have answers. But if I do, I'll feel like I've caved."

Kate sat next to him rubbing his back gently and kissed his shoulder. "Is wondering about everything for the rest of your life worth trying to hurt him? What did Martha think?"

"She thinks I'd regret passing up the opportunity for answers."

"I think she might be right." She stretched her arm across his back and leaned her head against his shoulder, and he turned his head for a kiss.

"Will you go with me?"

"I'll do whatever you need me to," she answered firmly.

He gave her another kiss and said, "Then come with me."

"I'll ask Alexis to stay with Jamie."

"No. Ask somebody else. I don't want to have to try to explain why, and she knows me too well not to pick up on something odd. I don't want decide whether to mention this to her until I've met him."

"So you're going to see him?"

"All of you are right. I want answers. And I want him to know how he hurt us."

"Then I'll be there. I love you." She kissed his shoulder again before Jamie came in with his books. Castle picked him up and held him a little closer than he usually would for storytime.

"Why don't you let Mommy read to you this time?" Kate said cheerfully. "Daddy had you all afternoon, and I missed you."

Jamie crawled over into Kate's lap, and Castle put his arm around her shoulders and kissed her head appreciatively. Then he reached over her shoulder and wiggled his fingers on the top of Jamie's head. His son giggled and batted at his hands, and Kate started reading. Castle sat next to them with his head back on the cushions behind him and his eyes closed.

When they finished the second book, Jamie asked, "Is Daddy asleep?"

"Shh," Kate whispered. "I think he might be. Let's go in your room and find something to do so we don't wake him up. If he isn't awake when it's time for dinner, we'll wake him up then. Go ahead and find something for us to do. I'll be right there."

When Jamie reached his room, Kate placed a soft kiss on Castle's forehead, and he whispered, "Thank you. I'm a little out of it right now."

"I know. Try to relax a little bit. I'll let you know when it's time for dinner," she whispered back and then followed her son to his room.

At dinner, Martha and her son displayed their acting genes and behaved almost entirely as they normally would; but Alexis and John picked up on something. Alexis followed Kate when she went to the restroom and asked, "Is something going on with Dad and Grams? Did they have another little falling out or something?"

"Your dad came back feeling a little under the weather this afternoon. The Castle/Rodgers folks are pretty perceptive, and Martha probably picked up on that. Hopefully a good night's sleep will take care of it. He has one more signing tomorrow and a meeting afterward that I haven't quite pinned down yet. I think I'd like to go with him tomorrow to keep an eye on him, make sure he's not pushing too hard. I've been invited to sit with him at these things anytime I want."

"Do you want me to keep Jamie? That would make it easier for both of you."

"That would be a big help. JD was with him all afternoon, though. You don't think he'd mind?"

"No. And we have the stroller when we need it. We can take him out somewhere if we feel like it."

"Thank you. I'll let your dad know."

Dinner was on the late side, so as soon as they got back to their room, Kate told Jamie it was time for his bath and sent him off to get out of his clothes.

"Let me take care of that," Castle offered. "You've been stressed today, too, taking care of the rest of us. Go unwind for a little while. I need something to take my mind off things, anyway."

Later, Kate did everything she could to take her husband's mind off the next day's events.

When Martha and John were back in their rooms, he knocked on the adjoining door and asked Martha what was wrong. After a few false starts, she gave him a quick explanation. We said goodbye. There's no going back or trying again, but it wasn't easy. It brought back a lot of old feelings that weren't pleasant to remember. He took her in his arms and held her.

"I would have gone with you, you know."

"I know, but I didn't want to drag you into it. Katherine went with me…the Captain Beckett version of Kate. She waited in the restaurant while we talked and stayed with me when we came back. Curling into him, she said, "I don't want to be alone. Will you stay with me tonight. Just hold me?"

"Any time you need it," he promised.

xxxxx

The book signing the next day was easier than Castle had thought it would be for him. Kate told him Alexis had volunteered to keep Jamie when she said she wanted to be sure he didn't overdo it at the signing. She sat with him and translated when his limited French wasn't quite enough, talked to the fans, joked with him, and signed some books herself.

Just before his second break, a tall, white haired older man in a light windbreaker and a flat cap sort of shuffled up to the table with two books. "This one is my favorite," he said with a smile, but I bought the new one, too. Nikki Heat is impressive." At that, he glanced at Kate.

"Yes, she is," Castle agreed, smiling back. "Who should I make this out to?"

"To Alex."

Castle looked up at the man in front of him, who looked much more fragile than his wife and mother had described, and the writer did an admirable job of hiding his surprise. "You said Alex?" he asked to cover the delay.

"That's right." Alex handed him both books, and Castle took the Nikki Heat book first. Kate picked up the Storm book and put it in her lap to retrieve the note while ostensibly opening it to the place Castle usually signed the books. When he closed the Heat book, she handed him the other one, opened to the right page. "Would you sign the first book, too, Captain?" Alex asked.

Kate answered by opening the book and picking up her pen, making a subtle show for Alex of slipping the note into Castle's coat pocket and nodding briefly to him. She signed the book, closed it, and pushed it back to Castle, who handed both books back to Alex.

Alex took them and said, "Thank you. Both of you," and walked away with his slight shuffle.

Externally, Castle got through the rest of the signing calmly; but he knew he couldn't hide the inner turmoil from Kate. She knew him too well. He went through all the niceties of thanking the store manager and staff before they left. Outside the store, they told Paula and Gina that Alexis had Jamie and they were going to take advantage of a little time to themselves before they went back to the hotel.

"Just don't be late for the train," Gina reminded them.

"Almost everything is packed," Kate assured her. "We can be ready to leave in half an hour or less when we get back."

"And that includes picking up Jamie," Castle added. "We'll be there." On walking away, Castle felt both relief and agitation simultaneously.

"Are you ready for this?" Kate asked as they hailed a taxi.

"As ready as I'll get, I think."

"Do you want to have lunch first?"

"I don't think I could eat right now, but we can stop if you want to."

"No. You need to find your answers, say your piece, keep whatever you want to save in your memory, and leave the rest behind you. Let's get you there. You can decide whether you want me with you or just want me to be close when you're done. After yesterday with Martha, I'm not worried about your being safe."

The taxi deposited them at the correct address, and they noticed a nice looking coffee shop across the street.

"Tell me what you need," she said.

"I'm pulled in so many directions right now, I probably should go alone. I don't want you to have to be a witness if I go in the direction of killing him."

Kate chuckled at his dark humor and said, "You have your phone. Call if you need me for anything…like stopping you from doing something you'd regret later…or for anything else. I love you."

"I love you, too." He hugged her and gave her a heartfelt kiss. Then he took a deep breath and walked across the street. Castle stood at the door of the closed bar and knocked, and a man who appeared to be a little older than his mother opened the door.

"There are some tables just past that wall," he said, pointing. "He's waiting for you. Just walk out the door when you leave. He'll lock up. I'll be back later."

After Castle had taken another deep breath to shore up his resolve, he made his way to the tables that were obviously hidden by the wall. The sight of the man he met surprised him. There was no sign of any fragility in the man he saw. This was a strong, vital man. He was in good shape and appeared to miss nothing, and Castle found himself looking into eyes that looked surprisingly like the ones he saw in the mirror each day.

Alex stood when he entered. He didn't offer a handshake, but he did offer a slight smile. "Richard. May I call you that?"

"It's my name. That's more than I knew about you until yesterday," he answered acerbically.

"You can call me Alex, since I'm pretty sure Dad isn't in the cards. I'd shake your hand, but you probably want to wait to see if I'm worth the trouble…and I can't blame you."

"You're damn right about both."

"At least sit down with me?" There were two glasses on the table and a bottle of Castle's favorite fine scotch. "I thought you might want something to drink before we're done here."

"I can admit you have good taste in scotch." He sat down at the table, leaned back and folded his arms across his chest in a position of challenge.

Alex sat across from him, opened the bottle and poured each of them a drink.

"What do you want?" Castle asked him bluntly and took a larger than usual drink from his glass.

"Exactly what I told Martha. "For you, I want to satisfy your curiosity, answer your questions, let you vent, whatever you need from me. I owe you that much. I can't replace the time I wasn't there when you needed me. For that I can only apologize. For me, I wanted to meet you this one time, have a conversation face to face, let you know I wasn't absent from your life because I didn't want a son. When I returned to the job, I had no way of knowing that I had left something as important as a child behind. Has your mother told you about our conversation?"

"The CIA, the danger to us? Yeah. How do I know that isn't all BS? That this sneaking into a closed bar, meeting Mother in a private room isn't just a big show?"

"Do you remember getting information about the overseas action in Bracken's accounts, his other international activities? I can quote you chapter and verse if necessary. I believe Jordan Shaw updated you several times. You and your wife were wise to step back and let someone else take point on that case. The man was obsessed with Katherine Beckett. Your wife is a force to be reckoned with, and he knew it. She had come too close too often."

"Jordan mentioned a CIA agent no one could name. He kept coming through with more than expected. All of us started referring to him as Mr. Ghost. Was that you?"

Alex smiled. "I'm what the CIA calls an asset. You probably have a good idea what that entails. I'm pretty far up the chain now…still in the field but in charge of considerably more of it than I used to be. I have a lot of freedom to work as I see fit, and I've had to do some things I wouldn't want to tell you about even if I could. But, yes. That was me. I work so far under the radar most of the time that I've become the definition of the term 'spook'."

"Then I need to thank you for that. What you contributed was important. Kate and I…the whole family, actually, sleeps better knowing Bracken is out of the picture."

"He's still on my radar. If anything seems to be rising from his ashes, I'll find a way to let you know."

"Did we see any of your work in the operation to get to rescue Beckett when Simmons had her in Scarsdale? Jordan had her suspicions about the guards. That paved the way for the other team to get to her in time."

"I was there…working off the clock."

"Then it's worth shaking your hand. I owe you and the team who was there that night the life of my wife and my son. They were both there. We didn't know she was pregnant until I took her to the hospital after she gave her statement." He offered Alex his hand, and Alex shook it firmly.

"I know you feel no connection to me, Richard; but like it or not, you're my son, and I'll do whatever I can do to keep you and your family safe. It's all I can do for any of you without putting you in danger." When Castle didn't answer, Alex forged ahead. Questions? What's at the top of your list?"

"I suppose I should start with medical information. Are there any medical problems in your family that could affect my children?"

"There's nothing to be concerned about there. My entire family was always disgustingly healthy. My parents were both highly intelligent and motivated…and passed it on. Neither of them are living now; and as far as anyone who knows the family is concerned, neither am I. The agency staged my death as a drowning. The body was never found. My older brother died last year. He was a nuclear physicist. My father was a scientist, too. I'm a good strategist, and was always good at drawing conclusions from small pieces of evidence and finding what needed to be found. It could account for some of your detective tendencies."

"What about your mother?"

"She was a writer." Alex smiled.

Castle was interested enough to drop the sullen edge to his part of the conversation.

"Really? What did she write?"

"Science Fiction. She would pick my father's and brother's brains to see if her theories were close to plausible or for details she could work into her books. That was when people didn't think science fiction was a subject for a woman to write and wouldn't have given her the time of day. So she wrote under the name Dean Parkins. That was before books were sold on talk shows and social media. Dean Parkins didn't have a bio and never appeared anywhere…just had the seven books published. The checks went to her attorney, and he worked it out from there. She had one book that made the best seller list, but not as far up the list as yours."

"I think I've read one of her books. If it's the one I think it is, it was good."

"I've read all of yours, and you've outdone her. Whether I have the right or not, I'm proud of you every time I see a new book come out."

"I appreciate what you've done for Kate and me, but I don't think I can ever forgive you for what my mother had to struggle through alone. After having to be a single parent under considerably better circumstances, I can only imagine how hard it was for her. I always had Mother to turn to, but when they found out she was pregnant, her family turned their back on her. She had nobody but me when I was small, and I probably drained the life out of her sometimes. I'm sure I slowed her career down, but I always knew she loved me. She fought her way through it; but the older I got, the more I realized how hard it was for her, and how cruel people could be about the social implications then of a child and no marriage."

"She's lucky to have you. And so are your wife and children. You've become a strong man, a good father, a good influence for your children. You've put together a good family around them, too."

"You know too many details about us. Mother said you've been stalking us for a long time. I'm not happy about that. You don't feel like family. We don't know you, don't know your intentions. Do you take pictures of us? Approach my children? And why do you do it? It bothers me to know that it happens. It feels like an intrusion. And how does that fall into staying away because of the danger?"

Alex sighed. "It doesn't happen too often, but I try to manage a look at the landmarks…the special occasions. I don't approach anybody. I'm always in the background. I'm very good at blending into the background. Now and then I take advantage of an unexpected opportunity, like now. My life is mostly work, and a lot of my work leaves me in some dark places. I've had to learn to ignore any sense of conscious. You and your mother deserve better. You're about the only place I can't ignore my conscious. I can understand your discomfort with it, but it never feels that way to me. I suppose I see the looks into your lives as glimpses of the life I could have had if circumstances hadn't intervened…a little bit of light to lift the darkness. Darkness gets oppressive after a while."

"Are there pictures that could connect my family to you?"

"No. I had a few pictures once, when Alexis was about Jamie's age. Someone I trust got a glimpse of them and asked about them, and I passed them off as something to do with a lead that didn't pan out. I got rid of them and haven't had another one since."

"What kind of special occasions have you 'watched'?"

"Your high school and college graduations, some of Martha's performances. I went to the hospital to take a look at Alexis in the nursery after she was born. I saw you and Katherine take your wedding vows. You finally got it right, Kid. I didn't even feel inclined to bother with the other two. The writing was on the wall before they happened."

"I got Alexis out of the first marriage. I'm not sure either of us got much out of the second one."

"You may not have, but she got quite a bundle of money."

"CIA with a sense of humor? First time I've found one of those." Castle emptied his glass and slid it across to Alex, who chuckled and obligingly filled it again. "It still feels like an intrusion. Where else did I not know you were there?"

"I was there long enough to hear Alexis's impressive valedictory address. And I was at the party in Munich for a few minutes last week. I hadn't seen Jamie. He's quite a little man…cuts a good figure in a suit already. He looks just like you. Looks like he'll be just as smart, too. And no. I didn't speak to him, or anybody around him."

"It feels weird to know you do that."

"If you don't want me to do it again, I'll stop. But you always liked a good challenge. You could see every special occasion as a challenge…like that Where's Waldo game. Find Alex."

"More spook humor, Mr. Ghost?"

"I'd never do anything to hurt anybody you consider family. And I'd die to protect them. I know you know how that feels. I know about your attack on Lockwood and your heroics trying to save Katherine when he tried to shoot her. Whether you want me to or not, I feel that way about you and Martha and the people you love. I may not be much of a father, but I'm a damn good guy to have on your side when you need it."

"I guess we saw that a few years ago."

"I promised Martha I'd give you a way to contact me. There's a number programmed into this phone." He placed the phone on the table between them, and Castle took it. "You can leave a message. I check it daily, and only a few people have access to it. If I need to call you, it would be on this phone. You can let Martha and Alexis and Katherine know where to find it. I'm sure I don't need to tell you it needs to be protected."

"Do I get your last name?"

"I'll give you a last name before I die, but not now. You'd want to dig into everything about that family, and I don't want to take chances that there might be someone else like Sofia who knows something from that long ago…or longer. By the time I'm gone, my enemies should be gone, too."

"I assume your full name is Alexander?"

"I introduced myself to your mother as Alex," he said with a smile. "But she asked the same question and called me Alexander off and on."

"And apparently named me for you without telling me."

"Well you gave up your real name anyway."

"You're right about Kate. I finally got it right. And that's who she loves. No matter what she calls me, she loves Richard Alexander Rodgers, not the rich writer and the publicity. It means a lot. I never felt that from anybody but Mother and Alexis." He emptied his glass again. "I should go. We have to be on a train in a couple of hours."

"You'll enjoy it. I'm sure you have whatever qualifies as first class seats. And you'll love the luxury accommodations on the trenhotel from Barcelona to Lisbon."

"See, it's creepy that you know my schedule and which trains we'll be on."

"I'm big on details. Goes with the job."

"I'm gonna go now." He took a deep breath and exhaled in resignation. "I guess you can show up at a special event now and then. I'm pretty observant. I might spot you once in a while. I do owe you for the lives of a couple of family members."

"In the unlikely event you get anything in the mail with the return address saying only MG, you'll know where it came from."

"MG?"

"Mister Ghost," Alex answered with a twinkle of humor in his eyes.

Castle gave a little snort of laughter as he stood.

"Did we miss anything else you really wanted to know?"

"I'm sure I'll think of a lot more after I'm on the train; but right now, I can't. This has been a lot to take in. I may never love you, but I won't hate you. I thought I might. I can understand that there were things you didn't know until it was too late for us."

"That's a lot more than I hoped for."

"I won't see you again will I? Not like this?"

"No. I'll be the ghost again, but if there's trouble, you know how to reach me now. I wish it could be different. I'll remember today."

Castle answered, "I will, too," and he turned to walk toward the door. Alex walked with him to the dividing wall, and Castle stopped and turned back.

"I taught Alexis how to make those paper airplanes. And I'll teach Jamie when he's coordinated enough, and his little sister. I enjoyed that little while at the park, and I still have that copy of Casino Royale. They'll mean more now."

"That's good to know."

Castle held out his hand and Alex took it, holding on a little longer than necessary, and Castle impulsively gave him a quick man hug. Alex returned it briefly, both of them feeling a little awkward and out of their element.

"Katherine is at the coffee shop, isn't she?"

"Yeah. We take care of each other. She's waiting for me."

"Then don't keep her waiting, Son."

Castle lifted a hand in parting and left the bar. A couple of minutes later, Alex locked the door and went out the back way.

Kate saw her husband crossing the street and ordered his coffee before he arrived. He kissed her cheek, and she said, "I ordered you coffee, but your breath says Alex had something a little stronger for you."

"Coffee will be good, too. Thanks."

Once he had his coffee, they walked to the corner and found a taxi to take them back to the hotel.

"I'll go get Jamie. Why don't you go back to the room…or maybe talk to your mother. If Alexis picked up on something this morning, I'm pretty sure she'd catch it now. Are you going to tell her?"

"Not right away, but sometime soon. I need to straighten things out in my head before…"

"I know. Go. Jamie and I will be there soon."

When Kate went to pick Jamie up, Alexis said that he was taking a nap and she'd bring him to them when he woke up. "If dad wasn't feeling well, he might want a little nap himself. We still have about an hour before we have to leave."

Kate gave her a hug and said, "I think you might be right. I'll suggest that to him if he hasn't already thought of it."

When she returned to the room and explained why their son wasn't there, she and Castle stretched out on the bed and she pulled his head to her shoulder and held him. He held her tighter and gave in to tears, and she held him, stroking his back and kissing wherever she could reach until the tears subsided.

"I met my father, and I'll probably never see him again…not for another meeting like today."

"Did you find your answers?"

"Some." He huffed a little laugh and said, "My grandmother was a writer."

"Really?"

"That's what he told me. I think I've read one of her books."

"That's awesome."

"Yeah, it is. Can we talk about it later? It was overwhelming, Kate. Almost too much to process. I can see why Mother was on edge."

"I've told you both…whatever you need."

"And we're both grateful."

"If you're okay, I'm going to get the last few things in the overnight bags. We need to leave soon. You might want to wash your face and be ready for Alexis if you don't want to talk to her about this yet. She could be here any time."

When Alexis knocked on the door, Kate closed the bedroom door before meeting her.

"Hi. Your dad is sleeping. I'll wake him up in a few minutes. He was exhausted." Taking Jamie in her arms, she added, "This was such a big help." Using her free arm, she gave Alexis a hug and said, "I love you, Baby Girl."

"Lexis isn't a baby," Jamie protested.

"Sometimes we call you guys baby just because we love you the way we did when you were little. It doesn't mean you're still a baby." She planted a kiss on Jamie's cheek and Alexis planted one on the other cheek.

"We're going on a train. Did you know that, Jamie?" his sister asked.

"We're going on a train," he asked excitedly.

"Yep. It might be awesome. See you later."

"I'll bet you'll like it." Kate told him as they went to Jamie's room to bring his luggage out.

The entire entourage met in the hotel lobby about an hour later, and the cars Bentley had arranged for them were there to take them to the train station. Bentley rode with them and then had one of the drivers take him to the airport to return to London.

While it was still light, they boarded the train for the approximately six hour trip, which would arrive in Barcelona well past Jamie's bedtime; and they sat with Jamie watching the countryside seem to fly past them.

"We're going fast," Jamie observed after a little while, his nose touching the window a good bit of the time. They watched until it was nearly dark, Jamie intrigued by the fast moving and frequently changing scenery and his parents simply content to sit quietly after the emotional tumult of the day.

In Barcelona, they could look forward to another couple of days of family time that might help return Castle, Martha, and Kate to a more normal state of mind.

For the rest of the trip, they cuddled with their little boy in their comfortable seats and let the motion of the train lull them all to sleep.