85. Chapter 85

Kate hears him come into the bathroom, sinks a little further down in the tub. Shame or a need for solitude - either one is true. She ran a bath, poured in the cherry blossom bath oil, and stripped off her clothes. The moment her body hit the hot water, some of that ridiculous anger melted, leaving mostly a resigned embarrassment.

But she doesn't want to do this now. She just wants to be alone for an hour.

After a long moment, he clears his throat. "I just told our son that Mommy is right about 99% of the time."

She opens her eyes slowly, turns her head against the back of the tub, and sees him leaning against the doorway, hands in the pockets of cargo shorts, eyes sparking in the shadows across his face.

"Really?" she murmurs, bites her bottom lip. "That much?"

He nods, waiting on her. She rubs a wet hand over her face, stops when she realizes that's Castle's way of shaking things off, laughs a little to herself.

He's still watching her so she raises her hand to him, gestures him over. He pushes off the doorframe and comes inside, shutting the bathroom door after him. She feels his warm fingers snag hers, and then he comes to kneel beside the tub, rest his arms along the side.

She untangles their hands and runs her palm up his forearm, unsure how to start over.

"At the risk of making you even more mad at me-"

Oh jeez. Really, Castle?

"-could you . . . tell me what I've done?" Rationally. She hears that too, in the hesitance of his voice and the wince around his eyes. Well, she deserves that. She's not usually the one acting like a girl, is she?

She keeps her hand on top of his arm, closes her eyes again, tries to think. He seems to understand, because he waits, lays his cheek on top of her hand, trapping it there, his breath in a sigh.

She squeezes him, tries to let the water do its job, rinse her clean, leach the fight from her until she can speak to him without diving right back into it.

"You don't usually make fun of me," she says finally. "I'm not used to it."

His head lifts. "What?" He sounds sincerely surprised.

She opens her eyes, realizes that she's hurt rather than angry. Or that her anger masked her hurt. "Nothing." Stupid, really, because they tease all the time, and this was no different.

"Kate, I wasn't making fun of you."

"No, I know." She nods and rubs her thumb over his skin, tries to make her eyes convince him.

"You don't know. You don't know," he repeats, his mouth dropping open. "I - I was teasing you. But we always do that. We - you - I wasn't making fun, Kate." And now there's a kind of little boy desperation in his voice that she really doesn't like, doesn't want.

"I know. I know; it's me. Just ignore me. It'll pass. I know better."

He sits in silence beside the tub, watching her too intently, but all she can do is shrug her shoulders.

"Why?" he says finally. "Tell me so I won't do it again."

"I don't know," she laughs, then lifts up from the edge of the tub to kiss him, lightly, for being sweet and a little helpless in the face of her moodiness. Not many things strike her this way. But his words . . . they do. His words.

"Because it was about the book, the story," he says, clarity written across his face to match the sudden understanding in her own. He slides his hand along her jaw, tangles in her damp hair. His eyes flick down to her nude body, a quirk of his lips. "You know. It's really difficult to have a serious conversation when you're naked."

She laughs at that, a real laugh, and feels better for having that power over him. It helps somehow.

"Still, I'll soldier on," he muses. He presses his mouth against the corner of hers, sweet and light, though she feels real heat behind it. "Kate. You always take it personally when it's about the books."

She feels her lashes, wet from the hand she rubbed down her face, hit her cheeks and she sighs at him. "I do."

"You do. And this one. It's about Nikki and Rook's son. So it stands to reason it would hit you harder."

"Maybe."

"Teasing you about it only-"

"Hurt," she finishes, bites her bottom lip. "Because I need it."

"Need it?"

She shifts in the tub, wriggling a little, feeling trapped. But only because he's got her cornered on this, whatever this is, this feeling in her that it's so important he - he get it right? he not mess this up? She doesn't know.

"You know when I asked you to let Nikki have him?"

"Have. . .?"

"Rook. To let Nikki just have Rook. No more misunderstandings or comas or murder charges. Just, simple."

"Of course I remember that," he says, a little grin playing at the edges of his lips. Well, he can smile all he likes, because she's not embarrassed to want them together, to want happiness for Nikki like she has for herself-

Okay, well maybe she is a little embarrassed. Maybe that's the problem.

"I put them together, Kate. They're together now."

"I know," she says with a nod. It does feel permanent in the last Nikki book he wrote. She believes it will last. It's not happily ever after or marriage yet, but it's close enough. "I think we all can see that."

"So what's this about?"

"You gave them a son," she says quickly, shrugging again. "It feels . . . intimate. To read that."

"Uh, well. It's supposed to be children's lit, so if it feels intimate, you're gonna have to enlighten me on how, exactly, so I can cut that-"

She laughs and shakes her head at him, lifts up from the edge of the tub to press a wet kiss to his cheek. "No, not like that."

"Oh, whew, good. I thought you were about to tell me I'm sexy and I don't even know it."

She laughs again, a little breathlessly, rests her cheek against his for just a moment, relaxing her shoulders. His arm slips around her back, cooler than her skin, making her shiver.

"I just mean - they're together in the Nikki Heat books, and it's lasting, it's good. You did that for me, because I asked, because I needed it to have a happy ending. But you did more than that. You created this future for them in Felix, and I got to read it. I got to see Nikki training her son and being his mother, being patient and good for him, and that's - that's supposed to be me."

"Oh, babe," he murmurs, his mouth against her ear. "Oh, love, that is you. You are patient and good for him; you're his mother."

She nods against him because she does know that, she does. It was just - very beautiful to read it in Castle's own words.

"I shouldn't tease you about Nikki. I know better."

"No," she trembles on the edge of a laugh and ridiculous tears, not sure why those either. "No, that's not true. I like when you tease me about Nikki. I don't mind; I'm proud of her."

He grins; she can feel it against her skin. "Yeah, I'm proud of her too."

She chuffs and wraps an arm around his neck, pulls closer, the water sloshing in the tub and growing cooler. "It was just this one time, Rick. I don't even know why. Maybe because it was just so fresh and it's my son and I'm so grateful for him, for you-"

"Hey, okay, it's okay," he says, hugging her a little tighter, his hand coming up to cradle the back of her head.

"I'm not crying," she laughs. "I'm just all wet."

"You are killing me here, woman."

She laughs at that as well, draws her legs up to get to her knees in the tub, pressing against him. He groans and slants his mouth over hers, hot and hungry, and she realizes just how much he was holding back to have that conversation with her naked.

She's soaked his tshirt through, but he just slides his hand down her back and tugs her closer, pulling at her. She lifts her legs over the side of the tub and he falls back on his ass with her wrapped around him, both of them jolted, mouths breaking apart.

He laughs first this time, presses his forehead to hers. "Okay, so, can we have make-up sex now?"

"So long as it's fast."

"I can do fast. Can you keep it quiet?" he laughs.

Kate goes after his mouth in answer, pushing her tongue past the words still trying to get out, and wraps her arms tighter around him.