66. Chapter 66

Chapter Sixty-Six

Steve didn't bring Billy up again on the way to Indianapolis. It wasn't that he didn't want to talk about it – he very much wanted to talk about it and what Jessica was going to do about Billy Hargrove now that she knew Steve and everyone else had been right about him having feelings for her, now that he'd clearly shown he did by kissing her.

If it had been up to him, she wouldn't have anything else to do with him that didn't have to do with English class, but he knew he couldn't tell her that without upsetting her further, and she was already upset enough. Billy kissing her like that had been a betrayal in her eyes. She'd given him a chance even though pretty much everyone else had been telling her not to, and then he'd gone and done that.

So no, Steve didn't bring it up. Mostly they just listened to the radio. They put a tape in when a news broadcast came on talking about how one hundred and fifty people had been killed when a Spanish jetliner had crashed. It wasn't the mixtape he'd made her; it was The Go-Go's and once Jessica settled down enough she started bopping her head to the music.

When they finally reached Indianapolis, they stopped at a place that Steve knew had a good breakfast menu. They ordered a five-stack of blueberry pancakes to share, but he ended up eating more than half of them because Jessica mostly just picked at it. It was just more proof that what had happened with Billy really was bothering her.

After breakfast, Steve drove them to a nearby music store and they browsed for about thirty minutes before leaving. Jessica bought the new Madonna album to add to her music collection at home.

They visited the local bookstore as well, where Steve basically just followed Jessica around because books weren't his thing. He knew she wasn't buying anything for herself, though, because she went straight to the comic book section. She had to be getting something for Dustin and his friends. They were the ones into that type of thing, and they were known for sharing the books around when one of them got a new one.

They ended up leaving with the newest X-Men comic.

She was still being abnormally quiet, so Steve asked her if anything else was wrong and he finally got an answer as to what else was on her mind.

"You're really not mad at me?" she asked softly.

"For what? Billy?"

"I mean, yeah. I let him stay over last night without letting you know, and then . . . that happened."

It was then that Steve realized that Jessica felt guilty for more than just the kiss.

"You told me you didn't trust him and that I shouldn't trust him, and you were right."

"Yeah, but I wish I hadn't been. I know you thought you were just doing the right thing last night, you know, being a good person. He didn't deserve it, but that's what you were doing."

"Okay, so . . . what do I do now? I mean, I can't avoid him completely. I have class with him."

"Well," Steve started, surprised she was asking his advice about this specific thing. "You could always pretend nothing happened. Let him know it didn't mean anything. You could just ignore him. Or you could talk to him. It really depends on him and what he does from here."

Jessica nodded. "I don't want to just ignore him. I do have things I want to talk to him about that I didn't get to last night because of how surprised I was."

"Do you want me there?"

"No. I – I don't want to risk a fight happening, and he might get defensive if you're there."

"Okay. But if he tries anything else –"

"If he tries anything else, then I'll call Hopper and get him for harassment."

"That . . . works too."

Jessica smiled softly. "I love you."

"I love you too." Steve allowed a grin to split across his face. "Now let's go."

"Go where?"

"You'll see."

They ended up at a nearby skating rink. It made Jessica shake her head and smile when Steve pulled into the parking lot, which was only at half capacity. It made sense, since school was still in and most kids probably hadn't decided to skip that day.

"I still can't skate well," she reminded him.

"And I'm still using the excuse that we're going to go skating because it gives me a reason not to let you go for the next hour or so."

"Sounds good to me."

The music could be heard even before they made it through the door, but Jessica only recognized it as a Michael Jackson song when they stepped inside.

As the parking lot had suggested, not many people were there. That suited her fine. It would give her more room, and she wouldn't feel like she was going to run into someone or have someone run into her.

This building and skating rink were bigger than the one she and Steve had been to the year before and had an area where you could eat off to the side. There was even a rest area near the rink. It was probably for parents who had kids who wanted to skate even when the parents didn't.

Jessica did not remember much from the last time she'd been skating, so Steve had to help her get her balance at first. She still held onto his arm even after she felt confident standing on her own.

She felt better at that moment than she had since the night before. She was glad that Steve wasn't mad at her, but that hadn't been the only thing she'd been worried about. The other thing was something she couldn't tell Steve about because she'd told Billy she wouldn't tell anyone. No matter what he'd done, she didn't want to go back on her word about not telling anyone about the 'arguments' he got into with his dad.

He'd said he could handle it and she'd said that, even if he could, he shouldn't have to. She remembered quite a few times when Billy had come to school with bruises – and sometimes less obvious injuries that were under the clothes – and no defensive wounds because he hadn't fought back. She'd always thought it odd that Billy wouldn't fight back, but now she knew why he hadn't. His dad had been the one hurting him.

It made her wonder if Billy's dad had ever hurt Max, though she had never seen any bruises on Max aside from the time Billy had left them on her. Max had said he'd never done it before and Jessica was assuming he hadn't done it since, because Max hadn't mentioned it happening again.

That was one of the things she would have to talk to Billy about when she saw him next time – whether or not Max was in danger as well. He was seventeen and could decide whether or not he could handle the abuse he was going through. Max was thirteen and a girl; she didn't need a full-grown male coming at her with physical abuse. She could be seriously hurt if that happened.

And what about Max's mom, Susan? What was her part in all this? The only time Jessica had met the woman, she'd seemed nice enough, if not a little shy and quiet. Jessica wondered if she was that way because of the man she was married to.

She was suddenly brought out of her thoughts by the fact that Steve had spun them in a circle. The movement had jarred her a bit, but he made sure she didn't fall anyway.

He had positioned them so that she was now skating backward, so they could face each other properly, but she had no fear of tripping because he was guiding her carefully.

"Okay, you are still upset, and that is not allowed right now," he said.

"I'm not upset," she countered. "I'm just . . . thinking."

"That's not allowed either."

Jessica shook her head even as a small smile broke out, which caused Steve to smile back.

"Much better."

He kissed her forehead once before beginning to pepper her whole face with kisses, which caused her to giggle a bit. That had probably been his goal.

She was impressed – and glad – that they hadn't fallen over while messing around.

They continued skating for another thirty minutes before Steve asked if she wanted anything to eat. She was feeling slightly better so she thought she could risk eating some fries and drinking a chocolate milkshake, which they could get from the snack bar at the rink.

They would head back to Hawkins after lunch so they wouldn't get back too late after they would have gotten home if they had actually gone to school.

In Hawkins, the middle schoolers were just getting out of class for the day, and Max immediately went to Billy's car after stopping by her locker. It was true he had been better about waiting for her lately, but he'd been in a mood since that morning. Plus, he no longer had to go to basketball practice because the season was over, so she didn't want to keep him waiting too long.

He usually was in a mood when he and his dad got into it, but this was different. Billy had been kicked out the night before – she still didn't know why. He hadn't really done anything besides mouth off a bit, but . . . it was Billy. Max had come to expect smart or sarcastic comments from him; Neil just didn't like them.

Max was fairly certain it had been good for Billy to get out of the house. She wasn't stupid. She knew Neil came down hard on Billy. She'd even heard some of the damage that had been done the night before. Billy had said something when they had been eating dinner and then after, once Billy had gone to his room, it didn't take long for Neil to follow him in. There had been raised voices and then a few thumps. Billy was told to get out for the night. No car or anything. Neil didn't care where he went. Maybe one of his 'little whores' could take him in for the night. His words, not Max's.

But one of Billy's hook ups hadn't taken him in for the night. Jessica had. She had found that out from Dustin when he and the others had shown up at her locker first thing that morning. He'd asked why Billy had needed to stay over at his house, and she had gone with Billy and Neil arguing and him needing to get away. She knew not to mention anything more than that.

Dustin still hadn't appreciated the fact that Billy had stayed over, and she didn't blame him, given the history there.

Max wondered what had happened, though, because as she'd thought before, Billy's mood was different than when he got into it with Neil. When he'd been fighting with his dad – or not fighting because Billy didn't physically fight back – he could fly into a rage at the drop of a hat – but his mood that morning had been more withdrawn than anything else. He'd even failed to play his music at deafening levels. He hadn't answered when she'd asked if he was okay, but she hadn't expected him to.

It was because of his mood that she had rushed to get to the Camaro after school. He wasn't leaning against the car waiting for her like he normally would be, but he was inside with the motor running. He probably had the heat on. It was still cold and neither of them were used to the temperature. It seemed to bother Billy more than it did her, but sometimes he was just plain dramatic about it.

She had stopped bringing her skateboard to school since she no longer had to wait for Billy afterwards, so she didn't have to put it in the back before hopping in the front seat. She was barely securely seated before Billy revved the engine and took off, not really speeding but jolting her at the sudden acceleration nonetheless.

"Billy!"

"Relax. You're fine."

"You still could've waited for me to put my seatbelt on."

"Like I'm gonna wreck in the parking lot," Billy muttered. "We're fine."

"Yeah, your mood totally says you're fine."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing, just you're acting really weird," she said.

"I am not."

"You are." Then more carefully, she said, "You stayed over at Jessica's last night."

"How do you even know that?"

"Uh, I'm friends with her brother," Max said, making it sound as if she feared for his intelligence.

"Right," Billy muttered. "Yeah, I went over there. No big deal."

"Yeah, it is. Something obviously happened last night."

Max realized she was pushing. She also realized that only a few short months ago she wouldn't have felt safe enough around Billy to have done that. In fact, Billy would have just cut her off, would never have let her get this far.

"What did you tell her about why you needed a place to stay?"

"Max . . ." Now Billy was shutting down. Then suddenly, "Wait, what did you say? When Curly let you know I was there last night."

"Curly? You mean Dustin?"

"Yeah, whatever. Jessica's brother, curly-haired kid. What did you tell him?"

"Just that you and Neil argued."

"Good. That's what I told Jess, too."

"Okay . . . So . . . what happened to put you in a weird mood?"

"I'm not in a weird mood."

"Then how come you don't have any music playing, you're actually going the speed limit, and you're having a normal conversation with me?"

"You're right. That is weird. I'll stop now."

Billy reached for the knob on the radio to turn it on and music began blasting from the speakers. He even sped up a little, seeming to be intent on not speaking anymore. Max knew he was only reacting to what she'd said.

"Billy!" She turned the music down but not off. That was something else she never would have done a few months before – mess with his music – but felt secure enough to do now. "Don't be a jerk. I was actually worried about you last night when Neil told you to leave. It was freezing and you didn't have your car. I didn't know where you were going to go or what you were going to do."

She'd stayed up later than normal, half expecting to hear Billy sneak in sometime during the night, had become even more worried when he hadn't shown up.

Billy seemed to have a hard time taking in the fact that Max had admitted to worrying about him, but his voice was less gruff when he next spoke. "As you can see, I survived."

"Good." Max relaxed against the seat. "Anyway, if you're not gonna tell me what happened, I'll just ask Jess the next time I see her."

"Don't you dare, Max. It's none of your business."

"Well then, you tell me."

Max could see Billy's shoulders tensing, could see his hand tightening into fists around the steering wheel.

"Billy –"

She was going to say it was fine if he didn't want to talk about it, that she wouldn't really go to Jessica, she had just been messing with him because she felt like she could do that now, but he burst out with, "Fine. We kissed, okay?"

Max was silent for maybe five seconds because she was shocked by his words.

"I'm sorry, what?"

"We kissed. Leave it alone."

"Uh, no." His words didn't make sense. "Jessica is with Steve. She loves Steve. She wouldn't kiss you."

"Okay, fine. I may have been the one to kiss her, but she let me stay over last night. She admitted she cares about me."

"Well, she probably does, but not like that! She let you stay over because you needed a place to stay, simple as that. She – she probably wouldn't turn anyone away if they needed a place to stay."

Max and Billy had made it home during their conversation, and Billy was now parking the car in the driveway. He turned the car off and opened the driver's side door. Max spoke up before he could get out.

"Billy?" Her voice was soft and careful. "You really care about her, right? For some reason, she's the one you like?"

Billy settled back on to the seat, sighed, and looked decidedly uncomfortable. They didn't usually talk like this.

"She's different, you know. She doesn't throw herself at me, for one. She actually wants to get to know me."

"Billy, she wants to be your friend . . . that's – that's what that is."

She thought it was awful that Billy couldn't tell the difference, had never had the chance to.

"Maybe. All I know is that I've been cold and empty since I got here, but I don't feel that way when I'm around her."

Max smiled slightly, but she felt a deep sadness for Billy then because she knew that Billy did actually like Jessica – the way he'd described his feelings for her had nothing to do with him wanting her physically – but he would never have a chance with her because she was with Steve and they were basically made for each other.

"Well, be her friend then. If you really like her, you have to respect that she's happy with someone else. You have to let her be happy with someone else. Don't do anything that could mess that up."

She hoped he took her advice to heart because even if Jessica couldn't be with Billy romantically, Max did think that Jessica was good for Billy in other ways.

When Steve and Jessica got back to Hawkins they went back to his house, since his car was there, and Jessica called her mom to let her know where she was and that she would be home later.

Steve's parents' car hadn't been in the driveway when they'd gotten there, so after Jessica called her mom, they went up to Steve's room. He turned the radio on and a Fleetwood Mac song quietly filled the room.

It didn't take them long to settle on the bed. Steve had been able to tell that she was tired even when she'd showed up that morning. Given what had happened, she obviously hadn't been able to sleep well the night before.

They were laying down on their sides, facing each other, and Steve was trailing one of his hands up and down her arm, enjoying the fact that she was relaxing now and maybe even on her way to going to sleep.

He leaned in to give her a quick kiss, smiled into it when she responded automatically. When he pulled away, he noticed she was looking up at him, a smile on her face as well. He pushed a few strands of hair behind her ear and his hand froze there.

He didn't know how he'd missed it before, but there was a small bruise on the side of her neck. He knew what it was – a hickey – and he knew how it had gotten there. Her hair had hidden it pretty well all day, and the collar of her jacket when she'd been wearing it, but it was visible now.

He thumbed over it gently even as a surge of possessiveness swept through him. How dare Billy Hargrove mark someone that wasn't his to mark?

"You didn't tell me he left a bruise," Steve said, softly and not accusing.

"Hm?"

"Here," he said, pressing his thumb down a little harder for emphasis.

"Oh." Jessica reached for his hand. "Yeah, it was right before I got him to stop. I wasn't trying to hide it, but I didn't want to bring attention to it either."

"I get that."

Steve kissed her gently, on her forehead this time, before pulling away just a bit.

"You know what this means, though, right?"

Steve felt her tense slightly and he wondered what had crossed her mind even as a grin pulled at his lips.

"What?" she asked.

"It means I have to leave one too."

He playfully shoved Jessica onto her back and rolled on top of her before attacking her neck with his own kisses and nips.

"Steve!" she shrieked before bursting out in laughter.

It was good to hear, the happiness in it, but it cut short when he made his way to that spot just below her ear that he knew she liked him paying attention to.

Her hands were suddenly in his hair, and she said his name again. There was a completely different emotion behind it this time, but it was no less good to hear.

They hadn't been able to do much of this lately – they hadn't really had the chance to – but Jessica seemed to be on board because she was the one who decided to take things further by slipping her hands under his shirt.

Steve didn't need much more motivation than that.