13. What Matters in Life (Kelly Severide)

Tony always had a side to himself he never showed. Well, to all except one person. It was kind of fitting as that person never showed the world about himself too.

Kelly Severide, like Tony, was a gorgeous man. He used women and alcohol as a shield to not let the world get too close. It worked too.  People could never understand the friendship between Kelly and, Shay, the Ambo driver. Shay was a stunning woman who was his roommate.  The perfect part was the fact she was a lesbian so no tension.

And now sweet, caring, perfect Shay, was dead.  Kelly was a mess and he didn’t know what to do.  Right now, he needed Tony.  He was smart enough to know it. This time, he was talking the right option and asking for help.

“Hey, good looking,” came the easy response over the phone.

Kelly smiled despite himself.  “Hey, Stallion." He knew Tony would know something was up. He looked out over Chicago and admitted, "I need you.”

Tony didn’t even blink. He just said, “I’ll put in for leave.”

The phone call ended but already Kelly started to feel lighter.  He didn't have to be the tough firefighter with Tony.  

****

In Washington, there was only one person who knew the truth about Tony.  Gibbs was rock solid and the only one Tony had told about Kelly.  It was the deal he and Kelly had.  They both had rough dangerous professions.  They didn't want to stop working as a firefighter and a cop.  They just had to tell one person who would let the other know should the worse happen.

Tony looked up, “Boss, I need a week.”

Ziva and Tim snorted, “What? Why?” Were the questions from both of the other member of the teams.   Tony couldn’t care less. He was not interested in either of them in this moment. They could be nosy and figure it out on their own. 

Gibbs ignored them too because unlike his team.  He’d picked up the urgency in his SFA’s voice.  “Why?”

“It’s Kelly, something has happened.”

Tony had never been so grateful for the gender-ambiguous name.  Gibb’s face shuttered for a second and Tony was sorry for the reminder about his daughter.  

Gibbs was as good as his word, as all, he said in return was, “Go.”

He could hear the jealous questions, “Who is Kelly? A secret wife?”

Tony would have snickered because Kelly Severide was as about as far removed from a wife as possible.  He wouldn’t like the man if he was.  They had met the night Tony had pulled the two kids out the fire.  It had been such a defining night in his life.  It was the day he decided to be a cop, the day he fell in love.

It was a crazy day. He’d met someone he fit so in sync with but their lives wouldn’t have worked.  They met at a time, where they couldn't be safe in their jobs and be out and proud. They did love each other but snatched time where they could. 

They had tried other relationships but the sad fact was their hearts weren’t in it.  They already knew who they should be with. Tony was getting to the point in his life ... Where he was thinking about taking the big leap.  He would make the big gesture soon but not now.  He would wait until he helped Kelly deal with the fallout of Shay’s death.

***

Chicago was a fine city.  Tony had been here enough to know his way around.  He had no idea exactly where Kelly would be so he started from the most logical place - Firehouse 51.  Tony just hoped Chief Boden was in the building. He wouldn’t have to answer any awkward questions if he was.

The Firehouse was like it had been the last time. Tony stuck out in his jeans and Armani shirt but he didn't care.  He walked in with his usual confidence.  He was smart enough to clip his shield to his jeans.  It helped to smooth the way. It helped with things like airport security. There was no way he would go anywhere unless he was armed.

“Can I help you?” One of the firefighters asked Tony.  Tony knew Kelly and Matt and that was about it.

Tony looked at the guy, “Is the Chief in?”

He got a vague direction into a place that looked like an office.  Tony offered a polite,  “Thanks.”

Tony knocked on the door, “Hey, chief.”

“DiNozzo? Is that you?”

Tony chuckled embracing the guy, “Yeah, it’s me. Kelly called so I'm here.”

Truer words and all that.  The Chief was relieved to hear he wasn't going super self-destructive.  He needed his Rescue lieutenant in working order.  “Damn, at least he is learning.”

Tony was smart enough to know what he was referring to and wisely said nothing.  There was nothing he could say.  He just wanted to go and see Kelly.

The chief sighed, “He is at Molly's. Look after him.”

Tony smiled, “Always will.”

Tony walked out of the chief's office and spotted, Casey.  The blonde guy was walking around with a bad case of shell shock.  The death of a teammate tended to have that effect.  Tony's heart went out to all the crew. “Hey Matt, come join us for a drink.”

The blonde looked up in shock at the voice. He knew the voice belonged to Tony.  He just didn’t expect to see him here.  “Hey, man, how are you doing?”

The others were watching with open curiosity.  The guy was known to the chief and the lieutenant. Odds were high he knew Severide too.

Tony smirked, “Good. I beat the plague. That’s new.”

“I heard about that. You freaked Kelly out with that you know.”

Tony shrugged, knowing that the eavedroppers would pick up on the plague and not why he was here.  “He freaks me out too. I never tried to catch a bomb.”

Matt chuckled, thinking how well Tony and Kelly were for each other. “Yeah, but I heard the story of you diving out of a plane without a working parachute.”

Tony shrugged, “Hazards of working with Gibbs.”

Casey snorted, “I never said he had any room to bitch.”

They walked out of the fire-station ignoring any looks.  

****

The bar was heaving as you would expect.  Tony slipped through the crowd with the ease of a socialite.  Matt had never watched a non-native manage it so easy.

Kelly felt the tap on his shoulder. He didn’t hyper-react as he recognised Tony’s scent.  “What took you so long?”

Tony pointed to Matt, “I saw him moping around the station.  He looked too pathetic not to get a drink into him.”

Kelly smirked as Matt pouted because of Tony's comment.  He found a weak smile as he agreed with his friend.  “You're right.  It is our civic duty.”

Matt was smart enough to see where this was going.  "I am going to call Gabby for a pickup."

Tony watched Matt slide into the booth  and then set off to the bar to get the drinks.  Tony knew how important it was to rip the band-aid off a problem.  You needed to let the grief roll over you. Embrace it, and then move on.  In their business, you would go mad, or get dead if you didn't.

He slid the good whiskey over and slammed the bottle on the table.  “To Shay.”

“To Shay.”

Now Matt understood what was going on. Kelly Severide, taciturn, no desire to speak ever had reached out to the one person he could.  He never understood the relationship between the two.  If it would help then he welcomed Tony's presence.

The evening progressed with them sharing war stories.  It was cathartic if nothing else.  

Nearing midnight, Gabby found them, “Come on Matt, time to go home.”

“I am soooo glad you are here.”

She rolled her eyes, “You know he can’t handle good whiskey.”

Tony snickered, “Sorry, you can’t blame Kel’ it is my fault.”

She couldn’t be mad. The man had a stellar pout, a puppy would be proud of that pout.  It was the type where you couldn’t stay mad at him.  “You are a little too pretty to stay mad at.”

Tony smirked because he could make a comment about her fiancé but he would behave.  Kelly was the one to surprise Tony by grabbing his hand. “You have your own pretty boy.”

Her eyes widened catching the implication.  There was a flush on her cheeks at just the thought of the picture.  What a picture, Kelly Severide and his ‘pretty boy’ made an attractive picture.

“Do you need a ride?” She asked.

Tony waved it off, “We’re good, thank you. I booked into the Hilton. I will drag him back there.”

Kelly liked the image.  He was glad he now had Tony to himself.  He didn’t know why he was feeling brave.  He was never ashamed of Tony.   He just didn’t want to have to deal with homophobia on the job.  You had to trust the guys had your back, lest you end up dead in a fire. “You’re mine.”

Tony clutched his knee, knowing Kelly would probably feel different in the morning.  “Always. Sleep it off Kel’ you will feel different in the morning.”

Kelly shook his head. He knew this was a reaction to Shay’s death.  It was at times like this, where you saw life clearly.  “No, I won’t ... Not if you are there."

Tony didn’t want to hope.  He was hearing everything he wanted.  He could rearrange work to move here. The FBI had a standing offer to lead the office of his choice.

****

As promised, Tony was there in the morning.  He woke up to the feeling of someone stroking his side.  He moved into the feeling, loving the sensation. “Hmm, morning.”

He accepted the kiss, closing his eyes and revelling in the feeling.  He never understood the cliche of being at peace with a loved one.  He did with Kelly.  

“Morning.”

Tony opened his eyes to see the intense look in his partner’s eyes.  Kelly looked so serious he was on immediate alert.  “What’s wrong?”

Kelly looked nervous like he wanted to ask something.  Tony knew how hard it was for his love to talk.  It was true what they say, opposites attract. Tony loved to talk and Kelly preferred actions.  

“How do you like Chicago?”

Tony answered honestly, “It has a big plus ... You.”

Kelly was still stroking his side, knowing it was one of his big weaknesses.  “Would you ... I mean, would you want to move in with me?”

Tony rolled over, “Are you serious?”

“As I will ever be ... I don’t care what people think.  I can fight and you can too. We are not helpless and I have lost too much time to ignore love.  We both have.”

Tony sucked in a breath.  Kelly never spoke so much but damn, when he did.  He went all out, Tony knew it was crazy.  He had a job and a career in NCIS but Chicago had Kelly and a fresh start.  He hadn’t been happy for a while at NCIS. Was this the sign he had been looking for?

Tony couldn't wait because he didn’t want Kel to think he was rejected.  Tony had suffered that too much in his life.  He knew that rejection was harder to come back from than the worst physical injury.  

“Yeah, I will. I will make the call to the FBI today.”

The kiss he got as a response let him know the decision was the right one.  Christ, he had to tell Gibbs he was leaving.  He would pity the poor SFA who had to deal with the entitled duo.  He just hoped he was around when McGee found out he didn’t meet the requirements.

Nah, he didn’t care. Kelly rolled over on top of him and distracted him thoroughly.  

Life was taking a turn but Tony just knew it was for the better.