Heart Wants What it Wants

Ivy gets off the elevator to see Mark, Lexie and Jackson talking, "Get pumped!"

"I'm pumped," Jackson says, not sounding pumped at all.

Mark and Lexie get into the elevator as Jackson stands there for a second. Ivy taps his shoulder, "You know, you could have gone up with them."

"Thanks, but I have to go change," he brushes her off.

"Okay, are we back to this whole ignoring me thing because I've talked to Mark and apparently you're doing it to him to. So what's going on?" Ivy  chases after him.

He continues walking, "Nothing, just got a lot on my mind lately."

Ivy sasses, "Yeah, but we know it's not talking to your best friend or mentor. So how about you share some of the things on your mind."

He sighs, hanging his head, "I think Lexie wants to get back together with Mark and I- well I have something else that I'm working through."

"Jackson. Lexies with you. That's not going to change, but at the end of the day, are you going to continue to let it affect your mentor/mentee relationship with Mark? And the other thing, I can help you if I have more details..." Ivy trails off.

"No, that I need to work on by myself," Jackson shakes his head.

"Okay, but I'm here whenever you need me," Ivy hugs him before walking off to her office.

Jackson sighs, 'I gotta figure this out.'

○○○○

Ivy sits at her desk, looking at the schedule when Jackson and April walk in, "Tell me I'm paranoid or something?"

"You're paranoid," April tells him, sitting on the couch.

"Thank you," he sits next to her.

"Although, she did throw a softball at his girlfriend," April adds.

Ivy hangs her head, "Are you still on about this? Just talk to her."

Jackson ignores her advice, "Screw this. You know, I can't be around Sloan today. I... Ivy, just take me off plastics, just for today. I gotta clear my head."

Ivy glares at him, "Yeah, what are you going to do when tomorrow is the same as today and then before you know it, it's the boards. I'm not rearranging a full surgical schedule, that I spent hours on, just because you are having girl problems. Suck it up or talk it out."

Alex walks in, sighing, "You guys ever hear of a Polly Preston?"

"Chief resident at Brigham, I went to med school with her," Ivy says.

"Shes only my number one peer role model," April laughs.

"You're a freak and I hate you," Alex snaps at her.

Jackson looks over Ivys shoulder, "What are you working on today, Karev?"

Alex asks, "A fat load of nothing now, why?"

"How would you feel about a nerve graft?"

"I would feel great about a nerve graft."

Jackson turns to Ivy with a pleading look, in which she melts to, "Fine. But know this, you two are sitting in a hospital where people are dying. Jackson, you're afraid to talk to you're girlfriend or your mentor. Alex, prove you deserve the peds fellowship. And April, sweetheart, you need more O.R. hours, Bailey had a packed day, go see if she'll let you scrub in on anything."

April nods and quickly leaves as Alex looks at Ivy, "Aren't you supposed to be supportive of us and whatever we want?"

"No, my job is to support you and give you a kick in the ass sometimes. Now, get out of my office."

"Thank you!" Jackson yells over his shoulder as he leaves.

○○○○

"Ivy! Yo, Ivy! Why is Karev on my service?" Mark runs up to her.

Ivy stalls, "Um, Alex needed more nonpeds hours and Jackson needed more nonplastics hours?"

He glares at her, "Tell me the truth."

Ivy bites her lip, "I-I uh, oh look, I'm being paged, got to go."

She quickly runs to her office and locks the door, 'I'm going to get you back for this Jackson.'

○○○○

Ivy walks into a conference room and sees everyone eating lunch. She plops down onto the couch next to Jackson and sighs.

"What happened?" April asks.

"Jonathan called, new evidence equals another late night equals no date night for Ivy. Again."

"Isn't that like the third time this week?" Cristina asks.

Ivy shakes her head, "No, it's his first time canceling this week. I canceled the other two times due to emergency surgery."

Jackson turns to her, "Do you two ever actually see each other? Or is your relationship all over phone?"

Ivy glares at him, "At least I'm talking to him."

"Whatever."

"Yeah, whatever."

The girls at the table share looks and raised eyebrows at the best friends arguing. The silence being filled by the beating of the heart-in-a-box.

○○○○*Jackson POV*

I listen to Yang name surgeries while staring into the heart, "Off-pump coronary bypass. No. En bloc transplant, heart and both lungs. Yes."

"I don't get it. I mean, Webber talks about this thing like it's a magic 8 ball.  It's a heart... in a box," I sit next to her.

"Okay, when you take an organ out for transplant, what do you do?"

"Put it on ice."

She nods, "Yeah, you put it on ice and run to place it in the recipients body, and then you wait and hope for this cold, dead heart to warm up and come back to life, right? But she-"

"She?" I ask.

Yang just continues, "She has never stopped beating. She's never stopped being warm, never stopped living."

I agree, "Sure, it's pretty-"

She interrupts me, "Its a friggin miracle. Okay? You're standing before a miracle. And once you realize that, she'll change your perspective. Okay, here's what I do. I look at an item on my list, I look at heart-in-a-box. And if that surgery on my list isn't half as cool as heart-in-a-box, then it is not worth my time. She lets you know what's most important to you. That's what heart-in-a-box does. And she's nice to talk to."

"Shh. Shut up. Shut up," I shush her.

I stare at it and think. Lexie or Mark. Lexie or Ivy. My career or my girlfriend. My girlfriend or my best friend. After looking at heart-in-a-box, I know what I choose.

○○○○

I page Lexie and then start changing. She comes into the lounge, "Hey. You paged? I, uh, I can't get outta here yet. I got to follow up with my patient, make sure she's in her right frame of mind. You okay?"

"Yeah, I just- I missed a surgery today that... thats not true. I avoided a surgery today, one I wanted to do for weeks, because of this thing with you and Mark," I tell her.

"There is nothing between me and Mark."

"Yeah, I've been trying really, really hard to believe that. But there is a thing and it's not going anywhere anytime soon. And this new thing with me and plastics? That's not going away either. Somethings gotta budge. So I have to walk away. From you... for me," I break up with her.

She looks at me, "So... you're picking Mark? And Ivy?"

I look away, "I've spent way too much time sabotaging my own career, Lex. Yeah, I'm picking Mark. And as for Ivy. Shes been my best friend since intern year, she's not going anywhere either. I still have sorting out to do, but I'm done avoiding her and Mark. Can you... can you tell me I shouldn't?"

She doesn't say anything so I walk out, heading to Ivys office. I walk in to see her sitting at her desk, "Hey, you heading home? I still have some scheduling to do."

"I just... wanted to tell you that I'm sorry for avoiding you. You're my best friend and I will start acting like it. I'm here for you and whatever you need from me because... I want you in my life " I tell her.

She smiles at me, "I've missed you. I'll see you at home and we can catch up?"

I nod, "See you then."

She gets up and hugs me, I give her a kiss on the top of her head. I head home, feeling lighter than I have the past few months.

○○○○*Original POV*

Ivy smiles, shaking her head at a retreating Jackson.

"He figured out his crap with Lexie and Mark. Finally."

○○○○

AN: most of this update was in Jacksons POV and he realizes that between Lexie and Ivy, he would choose Ivy.

Ivy and Jonathan are going to be together for a little while longer.

QoC: how do you think Jackson is going to react to Ivy and Jonathan's relationship now that he has some clarity?

Thank you for all the votes and comments and reads and expect another update tonight!