i can go anywhere i want, just not home.


                         ⇥ grey's anatomy
                         ⇥ seasons one ━ nine 
                         ⇥ mark sloan x fem!oc 
                         ⇥ slow burn / best friends to lovers 


 ⓒ fxllmoons, 2022                     cover by awfulmoons

CODING ━ mark sloan

some kind of miracle.season three, episode seventeen.    


tw: mentions of eating disorders —there will be a brief summary at the end of the chapter for those of you who need it!    


"What do we got?" Bailey asked the paramedic as the ambulance pulled up to the hospital.    


"She's not Jane Doe," Derek said quickly, stepping out of the ambulance and tripping over his own feet. "It's Meredith Grey. It's Meredith."     


Bailey's eyes widened. "Derek! Derek, Derek, how long has she been down?"    


"I don't know, Cassie got her out of the water," he shook his head feverishly.    


"Yeah, I mean she was on the ferry, but she— she's fine."    


Bailey frowned, looking inside the ambulance. "Well, where is she?"     


Derek paused and looked around. "I-I don't know. She was right behind me."    


"She's alive, she's alive," he murmured, staring blankly at Meredith.    


"Okay, look. I need you to help me get her inside," Bailey said, trying to stay calm. "Clear a trauma bay, stat! Move it!"    


Meredith's body was lying on the trauma bed. Derek, after being kicked out of the room, was sitting in the hall with his head in his hands.    


"Back to asystole. Keep compressions going," Webber shouted, looking up at her monitor.    


Addison entered the room, her breath catching in her throat. "Oh, my god."    


"Uh, have you tried a warm peritoneal lavage? Or even, a continuous bladder lavage with warm fluids? Could do a thoracotomy."    


"Get back to the ABG," Webber ordered. "Come on, lets go people."    


In the hall, Mark came up to Derek, sat next to him silently, and gently put a hand on his arm.    


"If it weren't for Cassie, she would still be in that water," Derek mumbled. "I didn't save her."    


"Cassie?" Mark repeated, turning his body to face him. "She was there? Is she okay? Where is she, Derek? Is she okay?"    


"She's okay," Derek assured. "She was there, but only had minor injuries. She was right behind me, I'm not sure where she went."    


"Probably stayed to help," Mark said, trying to convince himself more than anything. "You know how she is."    


Mark left Derek when he was paged to the ER. With the amount of preoccupied doctors, they needed all the help they could get. Bailey joined him as well, since Webber and Burke had Meredith covered.    


"Jane Doe, probably in her early twenties. Suffered from ventricular fibrillation of unknown orgin, flatlined out in the field seventeen minutes ago. We haven't been able to bring her back," a paramedic informed them.     


"She's DOA," another paramedic said. "You just need to call it."    


Bailey nodded. "Alright, time of—"    


She cut herself off when she saw the patient's face. Mark looked at her in question, until he followed her eyeline, and immediately froze in his tracks.    


"Tell me," Derek demanded, standing up and looking at Addison expectantly after she left Meredith's room.    


She sighed. "Her temp is still only 86. There's still no heartbeat. Were hoping once she warms up—"    


He ran a hand through his hair. "There's a risk of brain damage. I need to go in there."    


chapter thirty four